Klutzy Princess meets Dorky Hero
by Enelya87
Summary: A series of drabbles and oneshots about the beautiful/dorky/sexy/angsty/happy/twu wuv couple, IchiHime.
1. Husband's Blunder

Hey guyz!! Well, I have a GrimmNel drabble series and a HichiHime drabble series...but no drabbles for my OTP! The horror! So here it is and we'll see what comes out of it. The rating will probably stay at T. And feel free to toss my any prompts or ideas that come to your minds! :D

Their characters will vary according to what stage of life Ichigo and Orihime are in. People change, so they'll be changing a little bit too. Usually for the better XD. So if you notice what at first glance appears to be OOC, that's what I'm doing. Adapting them to the timeline in their lives and in their relationship.

This particular drabble has been sitting in my computer for quite a while...I'm still pretty 'meh' about it...but it's pretty fun anyway, I think. You'll notice that apparently I have an obsession with making Ichigo sing *sweatdrop* I can't help it! It just really appeals to me XD

I reccommend listing to "I've Got the World on a String" by Michael Buble, which is what the song is.

This was probably also partially inspired by **darkinsanity13**'s "Should've Assessed the Risk More". Read it!! It's hilarious XD

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"I've got the world on a string…" Ichigo slid across the floor in his socks, sliding the swiffer in front of him as he sang along with the stereo.

"And I'm sittin' on a rainbow…" He spun around, tossing the handle back and forth between his hands.

"I've got that string around my fiiinnnger…" the powerful shinigami sung as he slid sideways, grabbing a duster and gliding it across the shelves as he twisted his hips, shuffling forward.

"Oh what a world and what a life…III'm in love!" Ichigo froze in the middle of leaning over his swiffer-turned-microphone, and glanced up at the doorway to the living room where the staccato applause had suddenly come from.

"Ho-ly shit," Renji exclaimed as Ishida stopped clapping with a smirk on his face. Keigo and Mizuiro just stood there with gaping mouths, pizza, beer, and poker cards in their arms.

Oh crap, he'd totally forgotten tonight was guy's night. He flipped the swiffer to grab it at the other end and shut off the stereo with the handle before swiveling back to the guys. "This…uh…" he waved the duster at them as his face flared up. "This isn't what it looks like."

Ishida crossed his arms over his chest, looking very skeptical and very amused. "This isn't what it looks like, huh?"

"No."

"So, you're not dressed in your wife's apron with a light blue, flowery handkerchief wrapped around your head and dancing around the house with a swiffer singing to Michael Buble?"

Ichigo's eyes darted from face to face and then he slapped his hand on top of his head, dragging off the handkerchief, orange spikes popping back up. "Well…okay so it's _sorta_ what it looks like…but there's a very good reason for what's going on here!"

"Oh, we're all ears, Kurosaki," Renji grinned.

"Well…you see…uh…Orihime and I kind of… Well I might have, sort of forgotten our anniversary yesterday."

"Oh no."

"Oh yes. And it was a big one too. Our fifth…I think…"

"Is she angry?" Ishida asked.

"Well…no…not really. Just disappointed…and I think a little hurt…but you know Hime. She tried to brush it off and acted like it didn't matter."

All the guys muttered and nodded.

"So…" Renji cocked his head to the side. "Acting like a fruitcake is how you plan to win her over?"

"No!" Ichigo scowled. "I just…thought I'd clean the house and maybe cook her dinner and stuff…"

"Why the apron?"

"I was washing dishes. I don't wanna get dish crap all over my clothes!" He picked at the apron. "It's actually a pretty useful little thing…"

"And the handkerchief?"

"I'm cooking! I don't want hairs falling into the food…"

"Flowery?"

"Well, hell! It's not like _I_ own one! I had to borrow one of Hime's…"

"Michael Buble?"

"…I was trying to set a romantic atmosphere for dinner… He's romantic, right?"

"And the song and dance routine?"

Ichigo scowled and kicked at the floor, muttering. "I got carried away, okay? It could happen to anybody…"

Renji let out a bark of laughter. "No, only you, Kurosaki. Only you."

"Shut the hell up! And if any of you even _think_ about saying a word about this to Hime, I'm gonna take a blender to your guts, got it?"

"Dude…" Renji said. "Why didn't you just get her flowers or something like normal husbands?"

Ichigo scratched at the back of his head and blew out a puff of breath. "I did that last time I messed up…"

"Chocolate? Fancy restaurant? Massage? New dress?"

"Done, done, done, and done."

"Christ…"

"Yeah, so I screw up a lot, so shoot me!"

"You see," Keigo suddenly remarked. "This is why I will never get married."

Just then a buzzer sounded from the kitchen. "Oh! My cheese puffs!" The swiffer and duster clattered to the floor as Ichigo rushed out of the room.

Renji pointed towards where he'd left. "Did he just say…?"

"Cheese puffs?" Ishida finished. "Yes, unfortunately."

"He's lost his balls," Keigo breathed.

The sound of jangling keys caused all the guys to turn their heads and look down the hallway towards the front door of the spacious apartment.

"Uh-oh," Renji said. "Somebody's home early."

The door swung open and in walked Mrs. Kurosaki with a large portfolio under her arm, a smudge of ink on her cheek, and a slight frown on her face.

"Good afternoon, Orihime-chan," Ishida greeted with a bow.

Orihime's head snapped up and a warm smile spread across her face. "Oh! So that's why the door was unlocked. Hello, boys! How are you all doing?"

The "boys" answered with several "fines" and "how are yous". She thanked Ishida as he took her portfolio and placed it on the coffee table.

"How is your new chapter coming along?" Mizuiro asked.

"Oh, I've been struggling with it, actually. But today it was like I woke up with inspiration and everything just spilled out of my pen. So I got most of it done and decided to come home early today!" Orihime paused and took a moment to look around…and then blinked repeatedly at the clean living room that had been slightly more than a _little_ messy this morning. "Wha-" She turned to the guys, a little frown back on her face. "Where's Ichigo?"

Just then a loud curse came from inside the kitchen that caused Orihime's head to whip around.

"You know what?" Renji remarked. "We were actually just going."

Orihime looked back at them with confusion written on her face. "Just going? But I thought you were hanging out here tonight?"

"Uh…change of plans…"

"Oh…well, okay. Nice to see you guys! Say hello to Nemu and Rukia for me!" She waved at them as they filed out the door, blinked in confusion when Renji whispered something in her ear, and then froze and turned when another curse was heard from the kitchen. "What on earth…" she muttered as she headed towards her husband's voice.

When she walked into the kitchen her eyes grew wide at her husband standing in her apron, scowling, and sucking at his wrist. "Ichigo?"

Ichigo jumped and nearly knocked over the wine bottle behind him. "H-H-Hime! You're home early!"

"Um…yeah…I got a lot done today… What…What are you doing?"

"Well…I, uh…uh…shit," he blew out his breath as he combed his fingers through his hair. The movement caused Orihime to notice the red streak on his wrist and she ran over to him, gently grabbing his forearm.

"How did you burn yourself?" she exclaimed in concern as a small yellow dome appeared over his wrist, quickly healing the burn. He didn't answer, and her eyes followed his gaze to the top of the stove where there sat cookie sheets full of lopsided cheese puffs and sweet potatoes. She looked back into his face as her fairies returned to her hair pins. "You made all this?"

His hand reached back to scratch the back of his head nervously. "Well, attempted to make anyways…"

"And you cleaned the apartment?"

He studied his white socks and nodded.

"Ichigo…" She dipped her head to look into his eyes. "Did you do this because of yesterday?"

He sighed again and reached up to gently grasp her arms, still not looking at her. "Yeah…I'm really sorry…I just thought I'd try to make it up to you but…I botched this up too…" Suddenly soft lips were pressing onto his and arms were around his neck. His eyes widened in surprise, but he immediately responded and wrapped his arms around her waist.

Orihime pulled back and rested her forehead on his, looking straight into his eyes. "Ichigo, you don't have to be sorry for yesterday. You'd just been on three shifts at the hospital and had two children die in your arms! I don't expect you to remember such a little thing like our anniversary after all that."

"But-"

She cut him off with another kiss. "And you didn't botch anything up. I love you for doing all of this on what _should_ have been you day off. The apartment looks amazing!"

Ichigo shifted uncomfortably and cast an accusing glance at his cooking. "Well…dinner didn't turn out so hot…"

"That has yet to be determined," she told him as she reached over and grabbed a funny-shaped cheese puff. He licked his lips nervously as she blew on it to cool it off. She bit into it. And his shoulders sagged in relief when her eyes lit up. "Ichigo!" she exclaimed when she'd barely swallowed. "This is amazing! And its wasabi flavored!"

He grinned at her enthusiasm. "You're not saying that just to make me feel better, are you?"

"Definitely not! Where'd you get the recipe?!"

"Yuzu."

"Mm," she replied as she popped the rest of it in her mouth. He watched her enjoying his masterpiece for a moment before reaching behind him and quickly pouring her a glass of wine. She took it and let her eyes roam down his body as she sipped. "You know…I could get used to this."

His face returned to its usual scowl. "Get used to what?"

"Me coming home after a long, hard day at work to a clean house and a home-cooked meal prepared by my adorable househusband… The apron is a really nice touch." Her eyes sparkled as she hid her smile with another sip of wine.

Ichigo gaped at her. "Why you little-"

"Oh! And I heard something about you practicing a song and dance routine for me? When do I get to see that?"

"Renji," he growled. "Or was it Ishida?"

She grinned mischievously. "Not telling."

Ichigo narrowed his eyes at his wife. "Oi, I'm the one that teases you. Not the other way around! What's with this role reversal routine?!"

Orihime giggled and reached out to glide a finger down his apron-covered torso. "I do believe, dear husband, that you're the one that started reversing roles."

He sputtered and muttered and reached back to untie the delicate strings, but Orihime quickly sat the glass down and stayed his wrists. "No, don't take it off!"

Ichigo's eyebrows shot up. "Now there's a phrase I've never heard from you before."

"Eh?"

"Usually it's something like, 'Hurry up and take it off, Ichi!' or 'You have too many clothes on, Ichi!' or 'Why are there so many damn buttons on this shirt, Ichi!' or-"

She laughingly swatted him on the chest. "Stop it! You're horrible!"

"An eye for an eye, sweetheart."

"Aren't paramedics supposed to have unconditional mercy or something like that?"

"It's my day off, remember?"

As she rolled her eyes at him he suddenly licked his thumb and then rubbed it against her cheek. "Wha-"

He showed her the ink that was now on his thumb. "You had a little bit of genius on your cheek. Since my favorite mangaka is home early she must have broken her writer's block today."

"Hai! It was amazing! After days of being stuck all of a sudden I couldn't get the pens to move fast enough!"

An arrogant grin spread across Ichigo's face. "Well of course it was because of how you were woken up this morning."

Orihime's face flushed a deep pink. "N-No it wasn't! I fail to see how…_that_ would help me with creating a battle scene."

He shrugged. "I'm just that good."

"Hmph. Says the man in the frilly apron."

"Okay, that's it. It's coming off."

Orihime laughed and wrapped her arms around his waist to stop him from untying it. "No, no! I like it!"

Ichigo raised an eyebrow and rested his hands on her sides. "You like it, huh? I suppose I'm not surprised…you always have the most…_interesting_ fantasies." He chuckled as she buried her red face into his chest and wrapped his arms around her. The grin stayed on his face as a hand on her back mischievously headed towards her rear and gave it a good pinch.

"Eep! I-I-Ichigo!" she'd pulled back to glower at him, but he just laughed and tightened his hold on her.

"I think I need to prove to you how," he tilted his head down and brushed his lips against her neck, "I broke your writer's block… I'll go slowly this time, make sure you get every detail."

Her eyes widened as she caught his meaning and felt her legs go wobbly. "B-B-But…the food!"

"Mm," his fingers slipped underneath her shirt as his lips traveled back up to her cheek. "Reheat later."

"B-But…" Her fingers clenched the fabric on his back as she frantically searched her fogging head for a reason to delay…but then why did she want to delay this again?

"B-But," he echoed as his hands went higher, his thumbs grazing across the bottoms of her breasts. "Ya got nothing."

_He has a point_, she vaguely thought as she immediately gave in to his claiming lips and he began pushing her backwards and out of the kitchen. But she really wanted to see that song and dance routine Renji was talking about… She smiled against his lips. There were a few ways she could coax it out of him… But later. Her coaxing skills were temporarily out of commission while his hands were doing things like _that_.

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I don't know why it's so long either XP It wouldn't end!! So the ending's pretty bad, but oh well!! I'm not really going to work very hard on these drabbles. They're just fun for me and hopefully for you too :D

Thanks for reading!!!


	2. Thinking of You

Another one already?? Yup XD I'm supposed to be doing homework...but this song came on my iPod and I just decided to jot this out real fast. It's my first songfic, so don't expect much. It didn't turn out _quite _the way I wanted...but oh well. Mostly just me putting down my idea and getting in some writing practice.

Song is "Thinking of You" by Katy Perry

**Disclaimer:** I own neither the song nor Bleach  
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_Thinking of You_

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**Comparisons are easily done  
Once you've had a taste of perfection  
Like an apple hanging from a tree  
I picked the ripest one  
I still got the seed**

"Hey babe, I got you your favorite ice cream. Chocolate chip, right?"

Orihime smiled softly at her boyfriend, not saying anything as she took the carton. No…that wasn't her favorite; he never got her favorite. That's all right though. Only _he_ ever remembered.

She quickly scolded herself. How long had it been? Five years. And she'd been with her boyfriend for almost a year. And yet she still found herself comparing the two.

Sometimes big things.

Sometimes little things…like how her boyfriend smiled too much. She missed running her fingers along the scowling orange eyebrows.

**You said move on  
Where do I go**

Don't get her wrong, she had a good life. She was happy…for the most part. She graduated from college. Was successful in her career. Was dating the son of wealthy banker. All her ducks were in a row.

And yet…

A small part of her…a part that swelled to an almost overwhelming size during some lonely nights…was empty. An empty space in the shape of a tall, spiky-haired man. And when she was with her boyfriend, the empty space felt even emptier. Was even harder to bury.

She stayed with him because she _did_ care about him. Was fond of him. Liked him well enough. He was a good man. Truly.

But he wasn't _him_. Her heart refused to go anywhere else except with _him_.

**I guess second best  
Is all I will know**

He is a good man.

Sometimes she'd repeat it like a mantra in her head. He's a good man. A good man…

But he isn't the best…not for her.

**Cause when I'm with him  
I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you**

"Hime?"

She hid her wince from him. She hated it when he called her that. _He_ had always called her that…it was _his_ name for her.

"Orihime?"

She forced a smile on her face and turned to face him.

"You daydreaming again?"

She managed a light chuckle and a nod. Her daydreaming had been rare when she'd been with _him_ because he _was_ her dream. But now…she hated it…but her thoughts were on him the most when she was with the man in front of her now.

**What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night**

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling the blanket higher as they sat on the couch watching movies. His arm wasn't quite as muscular as _his_, but it was just enough that if she closed her eyes she could almost imagine it really was him snuggled up next to her.

His feel.

His scent.

The way he'd lean down and whisper into her ear, making fun of the movie. She'd lightly scold him but secretly love the feel of his breath on her skin.

**Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into your eyes**

His eyes were blue. A pretty, deep blue…

They broke her heart every time she looked at them.

What she wouldn't give to just once more have those warm brown eyes looking into hers.

**You're like an Indian summer  
In the middle of winter**

The worst moments in her life. Somehow…he had always been there.

When she'd carried her brother to the clinic, there'd been a boy with amber eyes and orange hair, so bright in her darkest moment. At first she'd despised him and his sunny features breaking through her dark rain. But then she'd seen his deep scowl…his face filled with concern as he helped her.

She'd found comfort in his frown. It warmed her world that had suddenly frozen over.

And then she'd failed everyone. Ishida lay there bleeding. Ichigo had become…something else. It was her fault. All of it. All of it…

But he'd been right there. Wrapping his strong arms tightly around her. Not a word was spoken. But his strength…his warmth…it invaded her when she knew she didn't deserve it.

He was always there. An unexpected warmth in the dead of her winters.

**Like a hard candy  
With a surprise center**

He had such a hard shell. So many people were scared of him. But she'd always known better. She knew what was inside…a warm heart that moved to a determined beat.

And even she, who knew him best, would be surprised by him. Who'd have guessed his face would light up like a little boy in a candy shop while discussing Shakespeare?

**How do I get better  
Once I've had the best  
You said there's  
Tons of fish in the water  
So the waters I will test**

"Be happy, Hime. Live well. Promise me?" he'd said as he lay in the hospital bed, his hand grasped tightly in hers as her tears fell onto his chest.

But it was so hard without him. He'd been her soulmate. When he left he took half of her soul.

"You'll find someone else to love. I know you will."

She hadn't been able to speak, but simply pressed her lips to his to stop the awful words that were spilling from his mouth.

The sound of the flatline would haunt her for months.

**He kissed my lips  
I taste your mouth**

Every time he kissed her, her heart would insist on imagining it was _him_. Somehow she'd taste _him_.

But it was always disappointing. Like biting into a big chocolate cake only to find out it was a cardboard decoration.

A poor imitation.

**He pulled me in  
I was disgusted with myself**

She _hated_ it. What kind of person was she? To always be wishing another man was holding her. Kissing her. Whispering in her ear.

She disgusted herself.

But she couldn't help it. So pathetic…

**You're the best  
And yes I do regret  
How I could let myself  
Let you go**

Of all the times for her powers to be broken. Hours before they'd been shattered in a battle that Ichigo had told her not to get involved in. But she just _had_ to try to play hero.

And now he was dead.

Because of her.

Who would have known Ulquiorra was hiding always hiding in the shadows? Waiting for the perfect moment to strike revenge.

Once her powers were healed she'd tried to heal him. Hours and hours of sweat and tears.

Nothing. His face was so peaceful while her world came crashing down around her.

It'd taken both Chad and Renji to pull her away from his body.

He was so still.

So still.

**Now the lesson's learned  
I touched it I was burned  
Oh I think you should know**

Finally she learned. But now it was too late. Oh so late. Her little life lesson had cost his life.

A beautiful life snuffed out because of her mistake. And half of her life had gone with it.

**Cause when I'm with him  
I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you**

She still wore her engagement ring on a chain around her neck. A simple solitaire diamond ring was her most prized possession.

One day her boyfriend discovered it and asked about it. She told him the truth for the first time and he demanded that she got rid of it.

She got rid of him instead.

**Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into your eyes**

She couldn't sleep.

Fresh air. She needed fresh air so she went out into the night for a walk.

Her head was so filled with his face as she clenched the ring in her fist that she never even saw the car.

**Oh won't you walk through  
And bust in the door  
And take me away  
Oh no more mistakes**

Her eyes fluttered open and looked around to see she was in some kind of city. Where was this? She frowned slightly and looked down at her hands.

She was dead.

Her name was Inoue Orihime.

But she knew nothing else. About where she was or who she was. She didn't feel panicked…but at peace.

Suddenly a tan hand appeared in front of her face and her eyes traveled up the arm to find warm, brown eyes scowling at her. Her heart gave a little jump, but she timidly took the hand.

Electricity shot up her arm and she gasped, her eyes jerking back to the man's face. His eyes had grown wide.

"Um," was the first word he uttered after he pulled her to her feet. "My name is Kurosaki Ichigo. Welcome to Rukongai."

Her chest flooded with warmth as the sound of his rough voice floated around her. "Thank you. I-I'm Inoue Orihime."

"Nice to meet you…Hime."

They both started at the name he used but somehow…somehow it felt so _right_. So did his hand that still held hers.

And wouldn't let go.

She felt like she found home in his warm brown eyes.

**Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...**

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Originally I had planned for them to break up...but then I couldn't imagine them ever breaking up XD. So death it is.

Hugs for reading! :D


	3. Wife's Mischief

Sequel to the first drabble, 'Husband's Blunder'. :D

**Disclaimer:** Forgot this for the others, but seriously...if I actually owned Bleach (which I don't) we'd be back in HM by now XD

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_Wife's Mischief_

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Ichigo flinchingly woke up to a bright light flashing in his face. He groaned and threw his arm over his face.

Another flash and he growled and rolled to his side. Through the foggy sleep he heard a soft giggle next to him that put a small smile on his scowling face… But why did he feel a breeze on his ass? He flipped onto his back, his arms and legs sprawled out over the bed.

_Flash_.

"Dammit, Hime!" he complained, his voice gravelly. "Are you taking pictures of me sleeping again?"

"Maybe." _Flash_. _Giggle_.

He rued the day he gave her that digital camera. "Ugh, hell of a way to wake a man up." His eyes cracked open to squint at her. "And after I gave you such a nice wake up call yesterday. Not to mention a nice 'good night' last night."

_Flash_ again.

He let out a feral growl and threw his arm out to the side, grabbing blindly for his wife as she squealed. "Dammit. Come 'ere you."

"No way," she giggled.

Ichigo glared at her blurred image through his slits and then settled back into the pillow. Way too much excitement first thing in the morning. He yawned and reached down to scratch at his stomach… "What the hell?" This felt like…

"Oh _hell_ no!" he exclaimed when his eyes fully opened to see what he was wearing. His wife's apron and his wife's apron _only_. "Mrs. Kurosaki." His voice was a deep growl accompanied by a snarling glare. But they only served to make her laugh.

"Yes, Mr. Kurosaki? Or are you the 'missus' now too? I'm so confused." She squealed again and jumped back when he suddenly leapt from the bed and slowly started stalking towards her. "N-Now Ichi, you know I'm just kidding, right? Ha ha?"

"Ha. Ha." Clearly, he was not amused.

Orihime squeaked when her back hit the wall and suddenly his hands were gripping her waist.

"And what, exactly, were you planning on doing with these photos, my precious little wife?"

"Eh…doing? Well…um…scrapbooking?"

He looked at her incredulously. "Scrapbooking?"

She looked to the side nervously and then nodded.

"What kind of scrapbook?" he asked suspiciously.

"Um…a…um…a sex scrapbook!"

His jaw dropped. "A _what_?!"

"Well…" she absentmindedly reached out and fiddled with a frill on his…_her_ apron. "Not really…it's just…I hadn't really thought of what to do with them and that's the first thing that came to mind…"

"A sex scrapbook is the first thing that came to your mind?!" He stared at her for a moment. "And just when I think I know everything about you, another perverted side pops up."

"N-No way! I'm not perverted!" She cowered slightly under his pointed stare. "Okay…well maybe a little…but you're worse!" she accused.

"I don't what you're talking about," Ichigo scoffed.

"You don't know – Are you kidding me?! Then who-" she untangled herself from her human prison and walked into the closet, quickly coming out with a leather bustier in one hand and thigh high black boots in the other. "_Who_ bought this for our last anniversary?"

"Uh…well…hmm…" Ichigo's eyes started to glaze over as he stared at his wife.

"Ichigo! Stop imagining me in this!"

Ichigo snapped out of it and grinned. "Not imagining. _Remembering_."

Orihime unsuccessfully fought back a major blush attack. "A-And you call _me_ perverted…"

He shrugged and gave her the brown-eyed puppy dog look. "I'm innocent here. It was your little blue men that made me do it."

Her face deadpanned and then she rolled her eyes and muttered, turning back to the closet. "Blue men indeed…"

"Oi!" Ichigo quickly stepped to her side and grasped her arm. "What do you think you're doing?"

She blinked and looked up at him, confused. "Putting these back."

"No you're not."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Come on, Hime. You can't just pull something out like that and not put it on! You're such a tease."

"I am not a tease! You have your memories to help you out."

"Memories aren't the real thing. Besides, it's only fair when I'm standing here freezing my ass off in an apron."

She sighed heavily.

"_Please_, Hime?"

Oh God, the "puppy look" again. "Fine, fine… But turn around!"

He scowled at her but obliged, turning around and giving her the real reason she wanted a rear view. She swallowed a giggle and pulled her nightgown over her head as she gazed upon her husband's adorable asset. It really was the cutest thing ever. The man's entire body was rock hard muscle covered in scars…except for one round, cushy, _adorable_ part.

"You just wanted to stare at my ass didn't you?"

"N-N-No! Did you peek?!"

Ichigo laughed. "If you aren't checking me out why would it matter whether or not I peeked?"

"I…" Bustier in place, she slid on a boot as she thought. "Well…" The next boot. "It _is_ an adorable butt… You really can't blame a girl…"

Ichigo whirled around. "My butt is _not_ ador…a…ble… Wow."

Orihime flushed hotly under his scorching scrutiny; leather creaking as she shifted self-consciously. "G-Geez, Ichigo…it's not like you haven't seen it before…"

"L-Like I said…reality is way better than memory." He swallowed hard as his eyes looked from her shy, blushing face to the provocative black leather, pushing up her breasts. Killer combo. "Yeah…you aren't going into work today."

"What?! Ichigo I have to go into work!"

"Nope. Definitely not. Just tell them you've found better inspiration at home." He grinned wolfishly as he stepped towards her and curled a strand of hair around his fingers.

"But I – mm…" Hungry lips cut her off. It had been a lame excuse anyway…

A few knee weakening moments later he pulled back. "Were you saying something?"

She tugged his head back down. "Nope…"

But he suddenly resisted when a thought entered his mind. "Wait a minute…what'd you do with the camera?"

"What camera?" she asked breathlessly, pushing him backwards towards the bed.

A few moments later he couldn't remember why on earth he cared where a bloody camera was.

But days later he'd remember again when he saw what picture his wife was using as her laptop's wallpaper.

"Hime!!"

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"Lucy! You got some 'splainin' to do!" XD

I accidentally discovered why it's so easy for me to imagine Ichigo in an apron when I was browsing a Ulqui/Yammi scene...it's because it's canon!! See chapter 229 for adorable househusband!Ichigo XD

And I apologize for any scarring mental images this drabble may have caused :D


	4. She Remembers

Blarg, I don't like these two drabbles -_- But I don't know what else to do with them, so here they are :/

**Important!!:** _Fade to Black _spoilers!!! If you have not seen it this drabble will be confusing and you'll be spoiled. You should see it though!! Don't listen to all the IchiRuki fandom craziness -_- It's an awesome movie (imo) about the IchiRuki bond (non-romantic bond XD), and definitely worth seeing. Some people don't like it, but personally I loved it!! Watched it 3 times already XD

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_She Remembers_

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Ichigo smirked at his friends. "See ya, Rukia. Renji."

"Get outta here, ya bastard," Renji said, mirroring his smirk.

"Yeah, yeah. Take care of her, asshole."

Rukia scowled and raised her fist at him. "Oi! I can take care of myself!!"

Ichigo raised his eyebrow. "Oh yeah? Then why do I have to keep comin' back here to save your ass, huh?"

"Sh-Shut up! No one asked you to!"

"Sheesh." Ichigo crossed his arms arrogantly. "Hero's job sure is a thankless one."

"Whatever. Get out of here you whiny bitch."

"Gladly, midget."

Ichigo gave them a short wave and then turned to the gate. Taking a deep breath he ran through the passage, everything that had happened in those few hours running through his head. _Dammit_…had it really only been less than a day? Tch…his family would've barely noticed he was gone…

_Aw hell_! And he completely forgot he had an exam today! For the love of-

"Eh?" He was almost to the entrance to the real world…but that reiatsu…

Before Ichigo could dwell on the familiar, fluctuating reiatsu much longer, he came to the gate and ran through it, bracing himself for another fall…but incredibly his feet landed on solid wood flooring in Urahara's shop. He looked around in surprise…and there she was.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime ran up to him, her eyes blazing with anger and worry. "Kuchiki-san! Where's Kuchiki-san?!"

"Huh? She's back in Soul Society…what are you doing here, Inoue?"

"No one remembered her!" Ichigo blinked at her in surprise. "It was just like last time! No one at school remembered her! Not even Sado-kun or Ishida-kun! And then you weren't here! I came here and Urahara-san wasn't here either! Kuchiki-san! Is she all right?!"

"Inoue…" She remembered? But…that's right…she remembered last time too…

Orihime reached out and gripped the fabric on his black sleeve, searching his face for answers. "Kurosaki-kun!"

He shook himself from his thoughts and placed his hand over hers. "It's all right, Inoue. It's all right. She's fine now." Ichigo watched her stiff body sag, gripping his garment harder as she took in a shaky breath. "Inoue…how long have you been here?"

Her eyes flicked up to him and then looked away. "I'm not sure…a few hours…just when I realized this morning that no one remembered Kuchiki-san and that both of you were gone."

"Inoue! You've been here that long!?"

She nodded and smiled up at him. "Hai. But…it's fine Kurosaki-kun…as long as you and Kuchiki-san are fine." Suddenly she looked back at him, her eyes filled with worry again. "You _are_ all right, aren't you? Are you hurt anywhere? I can heal you real fast if-"

"I'm fine, Inoue." He placed his other hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently, trying to reassure her. _Dammit_, he really hated it when she worried so much…

Just then both of them realized he still had his hand on hers and they quickly stepped away from each other, looking away as their cheeks turned slightly pink.

The sound of a gate opening startled them and they looked to the other end of the room just as Urahara and Yoruichi stepped through.

"Oh?" Urahara tilted his head as he studied the couple. "What do we have here?"

"Inoue remembered Rukia…she's been here since this morning." Ichigo scowled as he again thought about how long she'd been here. Alone and worrying.

"Hmm, how interesting…well anyway, how nice for you, Kurosaki-san, to have a beautiful woman to return home to after a day at battle."

"Eh?!"

"U-Urahara-san!"

The shopkeeper whipped out his fan and snickered behind it as Yoruichi smirked at the blushing teens. "Well then," Yoruichi said as she tugged on Urahara's arm. "I'm sure you kids won't mind if we leave you so we can take care of some…_business_." The fan shook suspiciously as Urahara allowed himself to be led out of the room.

"Tch…those two old perverts…" He glanced down at the young woman next to him and his face softened unconsciously. She really was something…always worrying about everyone else… A sudden loud grumble caused his eyebrows to shoot high.

Orihime's face flushed red as she slapped her hands over her stomach. "Quiet, tummy-san!"

Ichigo's impulse to grin immediately morphed to a scowl. "Oi, when was the last time you ate?"

"A-Ano…I, um…"

That was more than enough of an answer for him. "C'mon. Let's go get something to eat."

"Oh! But Kurosaki-kun must be exhausted! It's really okay! I can just-"

Ichigo interrupted her with a flippant wave of his hand, frowning as she blushed even harder. Why was getting something to eat embarrassing? Wait a minute…was _he_ blushing?! "No, No, it's fine. I'm more hungry than tired."

"O-Okay. Arigato, Kurosaki-kun."

"Yeah…I'll just go get my body and we'll be on our way."

"Hai!"

Ichigo smiled slightly and left the room. Once he'd found and settled back into his body he realized his heart was doing double time and his empty stomach was doing flip flops. What the hell? They were just two friends getting something to eat because they were hungry. Tch…it was probably just leftover adrenaline. This was nothing more than satisfying a basic human need and doing it with a friend.

Doing it…with a friend…

_Shit_! Where was his head going?! He suddenly stopped in his tracks when he'd reentered the room where she was waiting and found himself staring at her delicate profile as she studied one of Urahara's knick-knacks. Old hat and clogs was right, now that he thought about it…it really _was_ nice coming home to a beautiful woman…

_Dammit_. He gave his numbskull – that obviously didn't need to be thinking, especially about anything that crazy shopkeeper said – a hard shake. What was a matter with him? Maybe all that memory erasing crap was still messing with his brain…

"Ready, Inoue?"

She turned, her long auburn hair swinging behind her, and beamed at him. "Ready, Freddy!"

He smirked and walked towards her. Heh…she really _is_ something though…

Suddenly the sound of the gate opening again caught their attention. "Who the hell…"

Out of the gate popped a very angry lion plushie that bounced onto the floor with a squeak.

Orihime's eyes widened. "Kon-kun?"

Ichigo scratched the back of his head a little sheepishly. "Oops."

"Oops?!" Kon cried. "Oops?! Is that all you have to say after you abandoned me in the middle of nowhere?! I-" Kon's flood of tears suddenly cut off when he noticed Orihime standing over to the side and his suddenly heart-shaped eyes nearly bounced from his head. "I-Inoue-san?" He started a squeaking run for her. "Inoue-saaaa – urgh!"

Ichigo grabbed him by the face before he flew into Orihime's chest. "Mangy animal," he muttered as he shoved his hand into Kon's protesting mouth, fishing around until he found the soul candy. He stuck the mod soul in one pocket and stuffed the limp lion in the other. "Okay, Inoue. Now we can go."

"Eh? B-But, are you sure he'll be all right?"

"Yeah, yeah. He's fine." Like he was going to let that damned plushie butt in on his date…

…eh?!

_Date_?!

"Dammit!"

"K-Kurosaki-kun?"

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	5. Biggest Fan

Alternative take. This is the universe where Ichigo and gang are actors in Bleach ^^

**Important!!:** _Fade to Black_ spoilers again!  
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_Biggest Fan_

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_Sniff_

Ichigo rolled his eyes and handed over the tissue box to his girlfriend. Puffs should give him some kind of discount for bulk purchase. "Orihime-"

"Shh!!" Orihime pressed her fingers against his mouth as her eyes stayed glued to the tv.

He rolled his eyes again with a big sigh as her hand left his mouth and went back to clutching her tissue. Five days. That's how long ago she'd gotten her Fade to Black movie pack. And how many times had he been forced to watch it? Five times, of course! And Orihime had already seen it five times in the theatres. So a total of ten for her. You'd think that'd be enough. But oh no. Not for Orihime.

He was seriously getting tired of seeing his mug on her television. Her 42 inch plasma television, fyi. Seeing his face in HD didn't make it any better.

Okay so maybe he wasn't really forced…maybe it was more his inability to say no to her. Or his wanting to spend with her…even if it meant watching this goddamned movie a million times. He'd feigned the _flu_ to get out of seeing the premiere in December before they'd been dating. And look at him now.

He was such a whipped bastard.

A small hand suddenly squeezed his thigh causing him to smirk and pull her closer to his side. Okay so he wasn't a complete martyr.

Rukia's screaming cries as she sat before the twins in the pouring rain blasted over the stereo system. In contrast to Orihime's anguished expression, he smiled as he remembered how many takes it had taken to get that scene right. Rukia hadn't been able to talk for days afterward, much to his happiness. Oh but she'd been furious when he and Renji had kept teasing her. It had been worth the bruises.

Orihime scowled at his chuckle and he clamped his mouth shut. "Sorry." He sighed again and nudged her head down on his shoulder, resting his cheek on her soft hair. Suddenly her head popped back up and she started slapping his leg.

"Oh, oh! The best part!"

Ichigo shook his head slightly, knowing what was coming as she sat perched on the edge of the sofa. Her face glued to his face on the television as he and Rukia stood on the grassy cliff. This was ridiculous. She was making him feel jealous of himself!

Her eyes got big and shiny, her hands clasped together, opening her mouth to speak the lines with TV-Ichigo. "Hey, if death really isn't the end, then that may not have been the first time we met. Maybe we've been linked together for a lot longer. I can't say for sure, but I think that once a bond is formed, it never disappears. So even if we forget everything, we'll be joined together someday. It'll be that way with you and those siblings too."

Ichigo breathed a sigh of relief when the credits started rolling a few seconds later. He looked over at his girlfriend who was now grinning at him. "Ichigo, you're so sweet!"

He scowled in disgust as a blush tinted his cheeks. "What the hell are you talking about? I didn't write those lines."

"No, but it's something you'd think even if you never said it aloud."

He looked away from her truthful words. "Tch, whatever."

Orihime smiled and placed her hands on his cheeks, bringing his face back around. "I promise this was the last time I'll watch the movie." She giggled at his incredulous expression. "Okay, the last time I watch it with you."

He grinned and snatched the remote shutting off the ending song. "Yeah? So does living, breathing Ichigo get more attention than TV Ichigo now?"

She tapped her chin as if in thought. "Hmm, I'm not sure…does living, breathing Ichigo give touching speeches?"

He smirked and leaned towards her until she squealed and fell back against the sofa. "No, but living, breathing Ichigo _does_ do lots of touching."

Orihime giggled as he nuzzled her neck. "I suppose that will have to do…"

"Suppose that will have to do?" he growled. "Tch…" He quickly captured her lips and silently vowed revenge once Peirrot made a movie about her.

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	6. Her First Kiss

Hola amigos! I was on a road trip last week which meant lots of time in the car which meant lots of time to jot down drabbles (with an actual pen and paper!! D: ). So you'll have a few coming your way :D

These three go together, so feel free to hold your review until the third one ^^

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_Her First Kiss_

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It was funny.

She'd dreamed of her first kiss – specifically with a certain strawberry – for years. Always wondered what it would be like. Always catching herself staring at his lips as he spoke. Always coming up with a million and one scenarios for how it would happen…

And then the moment came.

The moment she dreamed of, but never dared to hope for. And what did she do?

She _hesitated_.

Can you believe it?!

And not only did she hesitate, but she stiffened. Stiffened! Warm, urgent, unexpectedly soft lips of the love of her life were pressed up against hers and she was _hesitating_! She'd given her heart to him. She'd given up her life for him. Yet she hesitated in this simple act.

Maybe it was her mind rejecting that her dreams were becoming reality. Maybe she feared uncharted waters. Maybe she was worried about risking their friendship. Maybe she was hearing her brother's voice her head, still telling her that boys have cooties.

But whatever had made her hesitate flew out the window when his warm, muscular arms pulled her closer, when she felt his nervous awkwardness through his passion, when he murmured her name against her lips. Her limp arms reached up to wrap around his broad shoulders, hugging him tightly. He put _so_ much on these young, strong shoulders…if she could just help a little…

The eternal, unconditional love she had for him swelled in her chest like filling a balloon with warm water and her lips returned his kisses. She felt him sag a little against her even as his hold on her tightened.

She didn't understand why or how this was happening. But it was.

Her first kiss.

With her first love.

Her _only_ love.

Another funny thing...he didn't taste like strawberries... How odd... But he did taste yummy, whatever it was...

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	7. His First Kiss

_His First Kiss_

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He'd never really given much thought to the whole first kiss thing. He was a guy for Christ's sake! And although he didn't really think about the "first kiss" like a girl might (all moonlight and flowers and whatnot), being the red-blooded male that he was, he had a healthy imagination. Girls were a fascination of his since he hit puberty just like any normal teen guy. He just wasn't verbal about it like Keigo. There was an image to maintain! And he didn't mess around like Mizuiro. He might, _might_, have a romantic side that wanted to make sure it was the right girl. Just…don't let that get around…

But he'd never dreamed that right girl would be _her_.

The ambiguous girl in his fantasies had been nameless and faceless…well, until recently. Recently her hair had been taking on a suspicious auburn color. And her face might have taken on the features of a certain classmate…_completely_ against his will, of course.

Was this really happening? Where did he get the boldness to suddenly kiss a girl? And not just any girl. But _the_ girl.

The hottest girl in school. The girl with superpowers and the biggest heart this side of the Pacific. The girl who was willing to, and almost _had_ to, give up her life for her friends.

He hadn't really thought about it. It just kind of…_hit_ him that he was in love with her. And then he'd sort of just…put his lips on hers. He wanted to and so he did.

But, as amazing as it was to feel her in his arms, her lips against his…she wasn't responding. She was stiff as a board. Tch…of course she was. Like she'd be into him. She could have any guy, or girl, she wanted. Why the hell would she pick some idiot like him?

He hadn't _not_ dreamed of her because he didn't want her. He just didn't dare to dream that high.

He sighed inwardly. But selfishly…he didn't want it to end. He knew this was all he would ever have from her, so…he pulled her in closer. Whispered her name, almost pleading with her to let it last just a little longer. Just to have something to remember…so pathetic…

And then suddenly…incredibly…_unbelievably_…he felt her arms wrap around his shoulders. Her lips pressed against his with equally inexperienced passion.

What? Was this really for him?

He nearly sagged to the floor in relief and tightened his hold on her to hold himself up and convince his head that she was real. That she wouldn't disappear.

She didn't disappear. And somehow, even though it scared him a little, he _knew_ right at that moment that he wanted to kiss her every day for the rest of his life.

Keigo was going to be _so_ pissed.

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	8. Their Last Kiss

_Their Last Kiss_

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"What are you thinking about?"

Ichigo looked back down at the quiet grey eyes gazing up at him. He smiled softly and brushed back a strand of silver hair. "Our first kiss."

"Really?" Orihime weakly lifted her delicate hand and grasped his calloused one. "I was thinking about the same thing."

He lifted her hand to his lips and softly kissed it. "Seems like only yesterday."

She chuckled softly…and then louder when his fluffy, white eyebrows furrowed. "What the hell are you laughing at, woman?"

His scowl gentled as she smiled up at him and squeezed his hand. "You sound so old and nostalgic, Ichigo."

Ichigo snorted. "I _am_ old and nostalgic."

She shook her head against the pillow. "No, you've never been old. You're still the same orange headed young man with the face of a thug and a heart of a hero."

He cocked a brow at his wife of sixty-five years who had always seen right through him. "What are you rambling about? I'm a grumpy old man who just wants to live in peace," he denied.

Orihime giggled softly. "Oh yes, that wasn't _my_ grumpy old man who drove thirty miles last week to his great-grandson's elementary school when he heard they were bullying him and nearly beat up the other kids in the process of lecturing them. Mm, yes. You just want a life of peace."

"That's different."

"Of course it is. Well then what about-" Orihime was cut off by a fit of coughing and Ichigo's face turned panicked as it took over her body.

"Hime! Help! Help! We need-" The coughing stopped abruptly and Orihime lay there in the hospital bed, catching her breath. Again, he brushed the hair away from her face. He felt the fear and despair he tried to suppress when she was around engulf his heart and seep into the lines in his weathered face. God, he could almost _feel_ the life draining out of her. And yet the light never left her eyes. They were quieter now…tired…but her light and her spark were still there.

"Ichi…go."

"Shh. Shh, Hime. Rest."

Her little grey eyebrows furrowed, her wrinkles deepening. "No…I don't want to rest. I can rest when I'm-" A tanned hand on her mouth quickly stopped the next word before she said it, agony already tightening its grip on his heart. Her eyes spoke a soft apology to him and he lowered his hand, his eyes staying on hers. They looked at each other, speaking as only two people who have lived together for decades can speak and completely understand.

"Ichigo," she finally said, breaking the silence. "Do you really think we'll forget everything when we reach Soul Society?"

His lips pressed into a thin line. There was no way he could every forget her. It was incomprehensible. How could he forget about all of his friends? How could he forget about all they had been through together? His children. His grandchildren. His great-grandchildren.

His wife.

His soulmate.

His best friend.

Their first kiss. Their first date. The first time they made love…although he'd rather just remember the fourth time when he finally got the hang of it. Their first fight. Their first child being delivered when he'd nearly strangled their doctor. The first manga she published. The first time he'd lost a patient and he cried on her shoulder.

Everything they'd been through. The hard times. The good times. The everyday life times. The extraordinary times.

How could either of them forget all of this? How could he ever forget her?

Screw Soul Society and Death can kiss his ass.

"No," he growled. "There's no way I'm forgetting about you."

She studied his determined face for a moment, his amber eyes blazing as strong as ever, and she felt peace. Somehow, some way they would find each other again. She wouldn't lose him. They'd overcome the obstacle of Death before, and they'd do it again. She was sure of it.

Her lids suddenly felt so, so heavy. She was so tired. Her fragile body seemed to melt into the stiff hospital bed. "I'm so tired…Ichi…"

The lump that seemed to never leave his throat these days grew and hardened as his heart knew what was coming even though his mind didn't want to acknowledge it. How could he go on living after she was gone? Yes, he had all their children and grandchildren and he loved them fiercely, but he just didn't know how to go on with everyday life without her. How could he go back to their house? It was so big. So empty. So glaringly frank that he was without half of his soul. It wasn't a home without her. Right here, right now, in this cramped hospital room, he was home.

He leaned down and kissed her lightly on the forehead. "It's okay, Hime. Just…just go ahead and sleep."

She struggled to lift her lids and look into his eyes. "Can you…stay a little…longer…Ichigo?"

"I'm not going anywhere." To prove his point he struggled to lie next to her in the small bed and she giggled softly as his bones creaked and groaned. "Quiet you," he mumbled, shifting stiffly until he was against her frail, sheet covered body and an arm was draped protectively across her waist.

Orihime smiled a little and linked her trembling fingers through his. She wished she had the strength to lift her arm and run her fingers through his white yet still spiky hair one last time, but the last of life was draining out of her quickly now. She thought of her family and hoped they wouldn't grieve too much. Her eldest son had scowled at her when she suggested a cheerful marching band with dancing bears at her funeral. But she had caught her youngest daughter looking very thoughtful, and all of her children had a particular weakness to her little girl (who wasn't so little anymore, having just celebrated her fiftieth birthday) who was the most like herself. So maybe she'd get her dancing bears yet…

"Quit thinking about that marching band."

Grey eyes flicked back to her husband's amused face. "It's a good idea and…and you know it," she said with a small pout, not in the least surprised at her husband's intuition.

He smiled and kissed her shoulder. "Whatever you say, dear." He chuckled when she pursed her lips at her most hated phrase.

She studied his laughing eyes and the deep grief that already lay underneath and silently prayed that he would have strength and that he wouldn't be lonely. All of her children would offer to take him in, but she knew he would wave them off. He was too proud and independent.

"I love you," she suddenly said.

His face became unreadable, even to her, as he lifted slightly to give her a soft kiss and then looked into her eyes earnestly. "I love you."

Her eyes started to slowly fall shut as a content smile rested on her lips. Ichigo watched her sleep for a moment, reluctant to let his eyelids fall, but his old, tired body refused him and he soon fell asleep beside her.

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"Is Dad still here?"

"Yeah, I don't think he's left all week except to run by the house a couple of times."

"That's Dad for ya, always with the protecting addiction."

"Like you're one to talk."

"Shut up!"

"Quiet guys! She might be asleep!"

A solemn hush suddenly fell over Ichigo and Orihime's children who were now turning grey, some attempting to stop the clock with hair dye, their own wrinkles etching into their skin. The paused before Orihime's hospital room and then the eldest slowly made his way into the room, followed by his younger siblings.

"Oh my goodness!"

All stared at their parents who were holding hands on the thin bed, quietly lying next to each other…and completely still.

"Are they…?"

The eldest son swallowed hard and walked closer to the bed. Even without his medical license, he knew. But he checked their pulses just to make it real. He released his father's wrist and nodded.

Heavy silence filled the room. Slowly, tears started to roll down a few cheeks. Finally, the youngest daughter softly spoke. "It's all right. It's okay. They…they were soulmates. This is how it should be… They look beautiful, don't they?"

Her brother folded her into his arms when the lump in her throat choked her sudden sobs. "Yeah…beautiful…"

Hours later the youngest daughter fiddled with the ends of her auburn hair and looked at her big brother with big amber eyes.

He sighed and nodded, pulling his little sister in for a hug. "I'll put in a call for the dancing bears."

"Don't forget the mermaids and the marching band."

"Mermaids? I...okay."

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And of course they found each other in Soul Society and spent centuries together. What kind of person do you think I am? D:

Have any of you seen _Big Fish_? That movie reminds me so much of Hime. Kind of where the random funeral idea came from XD

Oh, and the death scene may look like I stole it from _The Notebook_, but Nicholas Sparks totally stole it from my brain! Okay not really...maybe just great minds think alike (hahaha, look at me comparing myself to Nicholas Sparks. Just call me Stephanie Meyer *facepalm* I enjoy Twilight, but she really needs to simmer down...anyways...). Since I was little, this is how I've always wanted to die, in my sleep on the same night as my husband when we're older than dirt (which reminds me, they're 90 in this). Yes, I was a morbid child xD. But not in like the depressing or creepy morbid...I was more of a realist and a romantic rolled into one...I don't know...it's weird...and I'm rambling...OKAY!

I've got a bunch more drabbles, but I need to revise them a little :D


	9. Smut

Hey ya'll!! Hope everyone's having or had a great Halloween!! I have a really fun one so far, we're just chillin' and watchin' movies right now so I thought I'd take the time to...uh...do something I completely forgot about XD. I have like six drabbles that I completely and utterly forgot to upload, lol. So...sorry about the spam XD.

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_Smut_

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_She groaned against his lips when her back hit the wall with a loud thud. His hand slid down her waist and past her hip, gripping her thigh to pull it up tight around his waist, dropping his lips to suck on the skin at her neck. Her head fell back as he kissed her skin, digging her fingers into his broad shoulders. The hand on her back slid down to the bottom of her shirt and his fingers slid underneath, slowly, teasingly gliding up the soft skin. She moaned as her covered breasts moved and pressed against his naked chest, aching to be closer. She pulled back a little and quickly pulled off her shirt, letting it fall to the floor. He gazed into her hazy eyes for a moment and then let his eyes slide down her body. She wrapped her leg tightly around his waist, yanking him back into her, pulling his head down to meet his lips with hers. He gripped her hips and ground against her, growling out her name,_

"Inoue?"

"Eep!" Orihime squeaked. She slammed her laptop closed, face flaming. "K-K-K-Kurosaki-kun! Wh-What are you doing here?! School got out almost two hours ago!"

He blinked at her extreme nervousness. "Uh, I just had some hollow trouble right after school and left my body here. What are you still doing here?"

"Um, well, I'm waiting for Tatsuki to get out of her karate club. We're supposed to hang out tonight."

"Oh." Ichigo scowled as she fiddled nervously. What in the hell has her all tensed up?

"Oi! Orihime!" They both turned to see Tatsuki standing at the doorway to the classroom. "Ichigo? You still here?"

"Yup."

Tatsuki frowned at his uninformative answer and then rolled her eyes. "Yeah, okay. Whatever. Orihime, would you mind helping me with something real quick before we go?"

"Okie Dokie!" Orihime popped out of her seat. "See you later, Kurosaki-kun!" She waved at him as she ran off with Tatsuki.

"Yeah, see ya later," he muttered. He stared at the doorway for a second, and then glanced down at the laptop. Of their own volition, his fingers moved to lightly tap on the green cover of her Mac.

_**Just do it.**_

_What the hell? You were just asleep! What is it with your knack for waking up at the worst possible moment?_

_**It's a gift.**_

_Your definition of gift is warped._

_**Your hormones are warped.**_

_Shut the hell up!_

_**I will if you open the laptop.**_

_Shut up! There's no way I'm looking in Inoue's laptop._

_**Oh come on. She's obviously hiding something. Which is interesting. And it's something that makes her blush. Even more interesting.**_

_It doesn't matter if it's interesting! I'm not invading her privacy!_

_**She was probably looking at porn.**_

_You idiot! Orihime's not that kind of girl!_

_**Oh yeah? Well she certainly was that kind of girl last night in your dreams.**_

_I don't want to talk about that, you bastard._

_**Fine, then open her laptop.**_

_Absolutely not!_

Suddenly Ichigo felt the heavy beating in his head, black started to creep into the white of his eyes. "Oh no you don't! Get back in there!"

_**I'll even go back to sleep if you'd just look in the freaking laptop.**_

_Why the hell are you so interested anyway?_

_**I don't know, King. You tell me. I'm just the alter ego.**_

"…"

_**Come ooon. What's it gonna hurt? A little peek. She looked really nervous, what if she's in trouble or something? She might need our help.**_

Ichigo glanced around the dim classroom. Surely just a little peek wouldn't hurt…just to make sure she's doing okay…

_**That's it, Kingy. You're just doin' yer duty!**_

Agreeing with his hollow was never a good sign, but…he did have a point…kind of… He looked around again and then casually slipped his fingers under the lip, gently pulling it open. He scowled at the screen. She'd been typing something and he couldn't read it while standing up… Hee should really just close it now…

He quickly slid into her seat and started reading.

_**Hot damn!**_

Ichigo's hand covered his mouth, his eyes widening at each phrase. Was this…? Did she…? Surely _Inoue_ hadn't written this. There's no way. He read the paragraph again. What the hell? This was completely changing his perception of her.

_**Ha! I knew she wasn't that innocent.**_

_Shut the hell up!_

"Kurosaki…kun?"

His head snapped up to see Orihime staring at him in horror from the entrance. She blinked and ran to her desk, quickly clapping her laptop shut.

"I-Inoue, I-"

"I-I'm sorry, I…this…um…this isn't what it looks like. I mean…well, what _does_ it look like?"

Ichigo's suddenly dry mouth opened and shut and she started waving her hands about.

"N-Nevermind! Don't answer that! Silly question. Eh heh heh." She quickly shoved it into her backpack, her face nearly purple with embarrassment.

"I-Inoue, wait, I…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have looked at your laptop. It was completely out of line and-"

"No, no, no! I-It's fine! Totally fine. I was acting really weird. Anyone would have been curious."

"But still-"

"No. Really. It's fine…um…I…well…I know it seems really weird…I mean, it is really weird. B-But it's just a novel I'm working on…"

"A novel?" He blinked in surprise. He didn't know she wrote.

"Y-Yeah…" She shifted on her feet nervously. "W-Well, um…I better just go…then…"

She turned to go but suddenly his arm shot out and he grabbed her wrist. "Wait!" Orihime looked back at him in surprise. "Um…" He licked at his lips nervously and then glanced down at his hand holding her arm. What the hell was he doing? Why did he want her to wait? His eyes shifted down to her short uniform skirt that revealed luscious thighs and suddenly he was having images of slamming her against the wall, wrapping her legs around his waist, and–

"Kurosaki-kun?"

"Ah! Uh…um…I…" _Shit, shit, shit! _"Uh…I just…" Dammit, her lips looked tempting. "Shit, uh, you're a good…writer, Inoue."

_**Smooth, Romeo.**_

Her eyelashes fluttered and then she smiled nervously through her blush. "Thank you, Kurosaki-kun."

"Yeah."

"…Um…Kurosaki-kun…my arm?"

"Oh!" He quickly released her. "Sorry…"

"It's okay…um…see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

He watched her leave. And was definitely not watching the way her skirt swung temptingly.

_**She wants you.**_

_What?! No she doesn't!_

_**You're such an idiot. Ask her out before I take her for myself.**_

_You son of a-_

_**And she'll like it too.**_

_Don't make me come in there!_

_**Oooh, I'm so scared.**_

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Yeah, gonna make a sequel to this...eventually...I think... XD


	10. Tear Tracks

Warning: Cliche romantic comedy to the _max _XD

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_Tear Tracks_

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"Well…"

"Yeah…"

"…See ya…Inoue."

"Good-bye, Kurosaki-kun."

Orihime smiled and waved at him and the rest of her friends. She reached up and shifted the strap of her shoulder bag before finally turning back to the gate after a final glance at Ichigo.

He watched her go for a few moments, his face a stone.

"Ichigo?" Tatsuki studied his face. "You ready to go?"

Suddenly he turned his back to her. "You guys go ahead. I'm gonna go get a coffee and…well I'll just catch up with you later."

Tatsuki frowned at him for a moment. She glanced at Ishida and Chad. Ishida sighed and shook his head. "Come on, let's just leave the idiot alone for now."

She reluctantly nodded and followed after the two boys, giving another glance at Ichigo's retreating back.

Inside the airplane Orihime was a mess. What was she doing? She was such a little idiot. She didn't need to go to school in London. She was running away. Running away from everything that meant _any_thing to her. And leaving the man she loved behind without ever having said a word to him about –

"Miss?"

Her head snapped up to stare at the person beside her who had suddenly spoken.

"Are you all right, miss?"

"Yes, of course. Thank you." She smiled, but the older man next to her frowned.

"Beg your pardon, but you're clearly not all right. You're crying."

"Huh?"

"I said you're crying."

Orihime blinked and then slowly reached up to touch her cheeks. She gasped and yanked her fingers away, staring at the wetness on their tips.

"I hope you don't mind me saying but… If you don't want to leave, then don't."

"…No…no…I… Thank you for your concern, but I'm really all right. Leaving is…the right thing to do."

"Is it?"

"Yes."

Her row partner cocked an eyebrow skeptically at the tremor in her voice. "Going away to school, are you?"

She managed a nod, digging around in her purse for a kleenex.

"Well, if it's just early homesickness, you'll be fine. But if you've got unfinished business, I suggest you take care of it now before you lose the chance."

Orihime stopped rummaging in her purse and lifted wide, glistening eyes to the kind face. "Unfinished…business?"

Her biggest problem was that she thought too damn much. Her brain never stopped. So in true fashion of the man she loved, she halted her brain and let her heart propel her out of the seat and down the aisle, past the flight attendants yelling at her to stop. She ran through the gate, ran down the wide corridors of the airport, finally reaching the entrance and bursting through the glass doors.

"Orihime?! What are you doing?"

She ignored Tatsuki as she frantically searched the area for his orange head.

"Inoue-san, you're going to miss your-"

"Where…Where is he?" she panted out.

"He?" Tatsuki frowned. "You mean Ichigo? I don't know, he said he was stopping for coffee and-"

In a flash Orihime was back in the airport, the door swinging in her wake.

"What the hell?"

"Interesting…" The corner of Ishida's mouth twitched.

"Maybe we should go after her and-"

A grunt and a heavy hand on her shoulder stopped her and she looked up to see Chad shaking his head at her.

Meanwhile Orihime flew past the gift shops and the pizza stops, and then nearly skidded to a stop when she suddenly came to the Starbucks. He wasn't there. She turned in a circle, frantically searching for him.

"Where _are_ you?"

She ran again. Her eyes scanning every inch as she past more gates and restaurants until she came to then end of the airport. She reached up and raked her fingers through her thick hair as she looked out the windows in frustration and-

"Kurosaki-kun!"

There he was, outside, sitting on a curb. What was he doing? He looked like he was watching the luggage being loaded under the plane. She shook her head to stop thinking and ran to the door, pushing it open and running down the metal stairs. He never looked up at the clamoring sound behind him.

She ran over to stand in front of him. He wasn't watching the men. He was staring at his shoes and –

Suddenly his head lifted. "Inoue?"

He stared at her in shock. Was he hallucinating? He'd just watched her step onto the plane that would take her completely out of his life and now here she was in front of him, her hair being whipped around by the wind. Her eyes glistening.

"Kurosaki-kun…I…" She swallowed hard when he suddenly stood up and towered over her, his eyes searching her face with that intense look.

"Inoue…why are you here?"

"I…I just…" She took a deep breath. "I just couldn't leave without…without…" She squeezed her eyes shut and lowered her head. Her head that was back in full steam. She couldn't do this. They had a good thing. A strong friendship. Her silly heart would just ruin every –

"I love you."

Orihime's eyes flew open. Had she just said the words out loud? But since when did her voice get so deep? Slowly her eyes lifted to his and she noticed something she'd missed at first…on his angular cheeks…tear tracks…

"Kurosaki-kun?"

"Don't go…Inoue…"

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It's like every romantic comedy ending, amiright? I don't know...just felt like writing it at the time...


	11. Rivals

_Rivals_

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"I think she likes you better than me."

"Goo."

"Yeah. You know it too. I see that arrogant smirk."

"Ffff."

"Oh. So you're laughing in triumph now? Brat."

Ichigo's rival made spit bubbles.

"Okay Bubble-machine-san. Let's see you wield a zanpakuto against evil hollows."

"Vu-vu!"

Ichigo chuckled and grabbed the pudgy arms of the little person on his lap. "You gonna help me protect Mommy? Huh?"

"Gooo!" He pushed his little fists into the air excitedly.

Ichigo grinned. "That's my little man." He leaned in and rubbed his nose against his son's, causing a gurgling giggle to erupt.

Another, _different_ giggle sounded and both boys' heads swiveled to see their woman leaning her shoulder against the living room doorway.

"Vuuu!"

Ichigo lightly blushed. "Uh, how long have you been standing their?"

"Not very long," she replied vaguely, pushing off the doorjamb and making her way towards them. He scowled at her and scoffed. His son reached up and patted his fingers against his father's frown. Orihime smiled as she sat next to them on the sofa, tossing her art portfolio on the table and kissing the top of their son's fuzzy orange head. She leaned back and glanced at her scowling husband with dancing eyes, curling her sock feet under her.

"Oi!"

"Hm?" she asked distractedly as she leaned over to pick up the TV guide. A few silent seconds passed as she thumbed through the magazine and her husband gaped at her. Finally she glanced at him fleetingly again before turning back to the prime time schedule. "Something wrong, dear?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?" he ground out.

The little Kurosaki glanced from mother to father with wide eyes.

Orihime looked up and blinked several times in dramatic confusion, her eyes as wide as her son's. "But, I thought since you now know I like him better than you that we didn't need to keep up the pretense anymore." She had trouble controlling her straight-ish face as her favorite vein just above his temple started pulsating and that delightful muscle in his jaw started jumping.

"You-"

"Oh look! A documentary on elephants! Wouldn't that be cute?" she smilingly asked the little boy. She put down the guide and playfully grabbed at his bubble toes. "Huh? Do you wanna see the elephants? Do ya?" She giggled when he giggled. Orihime snaked her arms in front of her nose, moving them up and down while she attempted to make elephant noises with her "trunk". The miniature Ichigo laughed ecstatically and clapped his little hands together.

"Maa!"

Orihime immediately gasped and dropped her arms, looking up at her reluctantly amused husband with wide eyes. "Did you hear that? Did he just say my name?!"

"Maa!"

"Oh my gosh! He did!" Orihime happily picked him up and held him to her chest, looking back at Ichigo in wonder. "He said my name!"

Ichigo was grinning with pride, but quickly coughed the scowl back onto his face. "So now he likes you better than me too. I see how it is. I'm just-"

He was cut short when his wife fisted the collar of his shirt in her little hand. "Come here, you big whiner." She pulled down his head and pressed her lips hard against his. He smiled against her lips and lifted his hand, burying it into her hair, opening his mouth over hers and –

Ichigo was rudely interrupted when he heard an angry little noise and felt something soft patting insistently against his leg. He reluctantly broke the kiss and looked down to see his son staring at him with his father's scowl, his little hand hitting Ichigo's thigh.

Orihime giggled as she looked at her scowling men. Ichigo raised a brow at his possessive son who was entirely too much like his father for his own good. "I think it's somebody's bedtime."

"I think you're right." Orihime turned her full attention to the baby on her lap. "Good night, Ichigo."

"…the hell?!"

"Don't curse in front of the baby, sweetheart."

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I think I love teasing Hime as much as teasing Ichigo now XD. And am I the only weird girl who LOVES it when guys clench that funny muscle in their jaws? It just makes me happy XD.


	12. The Question

_The Question_

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Slowly his eyelids opened, resistant to waking up. He started to groan and stretch, but stopped when he caught sight of his wife standing in front their full length mirror, her fluffy, elephant pattern robe open, her back facing him.

He blinked away the morning blurriness and squinted to see what she was doing. In the reflection he could see her frowning face as she pinched at the slight fat on her stomach. He scowled. _What the hell? She better not be thinking what I think she's thinking_. Sure she'd been struggling to get off the pregnancy weight from their first child, but he honestly didn't understand why. He actually liked having a little more of her to hold onto…

He unconsciously licked his lips as his eyes slid down her body's reflection. Under her robe she wore a dark red lingerie set that was all silk and lace. He noticed with a small grin that her breasts her spilling out of her bra cups just a bit. _Definitely_ nothing wrong with a little extra weight.

She started to turn around and he quickly shut his eyes and buried the side of his face a little further into the pillow.

Orihime looked back at her husband and chewed at her lip. She didn't know if she was _ever_ going to get back to her teenage body. Rukia "assured" her that her hips were forever stuck in wide mode. It made Rukia look more womanly; it made her look like a pear on steroids.

She fiddled with her fluffy robe tie. She hated to ask him the dreaded wife question, but she truly, honestly wanted to know what he thought. And she knew he would tell her the truth, he wasn't one for mincing words. But still…it was such a _wifey_ thing to ask…

She sighed and took a couple of steps towards the bed. "Ichigo?" she whispered. "Are you awake?"

He grunted an affirmative.

"Um…c-can I ask you something?"

Another grunt.

"Do…do you…um…" she sighed heavily. _Just get it over with, Orihime!_ "DoyouthinkI'mfat?"

"No," he grunted, eyes still shut.

She blinked at his face. "Ichigo, you didn't even look!"

Eyes still shut, a cocky grin spread over his face. "Don't have to. I _felt_ every inch of you last night."

Her face went cherry red. Married for almost five years and he still made her blush like a silly schoolgirl. She looked down and shifted in her elephant slippers. "B-But…ano…"

He opened his eyes and studied her for a moment before he tossed back his sheet and sat up on the edge of their bed. Orihime raised her eyes slightly and through her eyelashes she watched him stretch and yawn in only his black boxers. Suddenly he stuck out his arm and motioned at her. "C'mere."

Orihime hesitated for a moment and then stepped into his open legs. Ichigo placed his hands on her hips and sternly looked into his wife's eyes. "You're not fat. I love your body. But I love _you_ more, so if you gain a hundred pounds I'll still be crazy about you."

She blushed harder and watched her husband glance away and clear his throat. "Ichi…" Suddenly she threw her arms around his neck, knocking him back onto the bed. "Thank you…Ichigo," she murmured into his neck. I'm sorry I asked such a silly question…but I just…"

"I know," he said, softly running his hands up and down her back. He paused. "So…what about me?"

She lifted up on her hands to look down at his face incredulously. "Eh? You're not fat."

"Yeah, I know." She rolled her eyes at him and he moved a hand under her robe, snapping the back bra strap against her skin, smirking at her squeek. "But would you still want me if I gained a hundred pounds?" he asked, his smirk remaining arrogant, confident in her answer.

Orihime suddenly sat up on his thighs and placed her finger on her chin, appearing to deeply contemplate this. "Well…" Out of the corner of her eye she noticed his confident expression faltering and then she reached down to draw an invisible squiggly line down his sculpted stomach, squelching a smile when his muscles trembled under her touch. "I don't know…I really, _really_ love these."

He gaped at her. _How shallow!_

Suddenly she grinned and leaned down to plant a firm kiss on his mouth. "You can grow a belly the size of a beach ball and you'd still drive me crazy."

He grinned back at her and pulled her back down, but a sudden loud cry from the baby monitor halted them.

Orihime leapt off of him and quickly started tying her robe, giggling when she glanced up to see that her husband had sat up and was forlornly staring down at the tent in his boxers. She leaned over and quickly kissed his cheek. "Don't worry, after I take care of that baby I'll be back to take care of this baby."

Ichigo narrowed his eyes at her. "If I didn't know any better I'd think I should be jealous of him…"

"Hm," she shoved her feet back into her slippers. "Maybe you should be…"

"Huh? Hey! What about these?!" he asked, pointing at the abs she had just declared her love for.

"Well…they _are_ nice, but he's so cute and squishy." She smiled and then quickly left the room.

Ichigo stared after her for a moment, still pointing at his stomach. "Oi!" he called after her. "I can be cute and squishy!"

"…"

"You're still coming back though, aren't you?"

"…"

"Hime?!"

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	13. Density: Part 1

_Density: Part 1_

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"I like you."

"I like you too, Kurosaki-kun!"

"Y-You do?!"

"Of course, silly. Why… Oh." Orihime suddenly looked up from her sewing project, eyes wide. "Kurosaki-kun…" She glanced around to make sure the classroom was still empty of any ears that didn't need to hear what they shouldn't and then gently placed her hand on the tanned hand that lay on her desk, looking at him, deep concern filling her eyes. "Is this about your hollow and what happened? Because-"

"No! Uh…I mean, no…I just…"

Orihime beamed at him and lightly squeezed his hand before returning hers to the fabric in front of her. "That's good. I know we talked about it, but if you ever want to talk again just let me know, okay?"

"Inoue…I-"

"Orihime~"

They both looked back at the classroom doorway to see Rangiku standing there pouting. "Are you ready yet? I really wanna try that recipe tonight!"

"Oh! Okay, Rangiku!" Orihime quickly began to fold up and stuff away her supplies. "I lost track of time. Be there in a sec!" Rangiku nodded and waved, twirling around to walk back down the hallway as Orihime stood up and slung the bag over her shoulder. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Ichigo's shoulders slumped slightly in defeat and he sighed, giving her a small smile. "Yeah."

His body language didn't get past her. She knew something was on his mind, but she decided to let it go for now. "Okay…but just so you know, you will always be my friend, no matter what happens, no matter who or what you become. Nothing will ever change that."

He swallowed hard and managed a soft smile. "Thank you…Inoue."

She smiled at him again. "See you tomorrow!"

Ichigo watched her skip out and then plopped down into her seat, completely deflated. The seat was still warm… "Dammit," he muttered to himself. "What was I thinking?" The thought of liking him, _loving_ him, obviously hadn't even crossed her mind. "That's the _last_ time I listen to Rukia. Her mind's warped from all that shoujo."

"Kuchiki-san, huh? I see. This did seem rather uncharacteristic of you to initiate on your own."

Ichigo's head snapped up and stared in shock as Ishida came from the other side of the craft storage bins. "What the hell?!" He angrily leapt from the desk, nearly knocking it to the ground. "You were hiding?! Eavesdropping?! You-"

"No," Ishida calmly refuted, holding up a few pieces of fabric. "I was getting some supplies when you barged in with your _eloquent_ confession. I was then being polite by not interrupting your…_moment_, and wanted to spare you embarrassment." He paused to push up his glasses. "But God knows when you're going to stop sulking and leave; therefore, I refuse to confine myself to lurking behind storage bins for the sake of your pride."

Ichigo gaped at him, his face beet red with embarrassment and anger. But then just as Ishida was sure Ichigo was going to explode on him, he slowly unclenched his fists and bent down to grab up the bag he'd dropped, the scowling mask set firmly in place when he faced Ishida again. "Whatever. It doesn't matter." He started to leave, but then glanced back at Ishida. "I can count on you not to say anything about this, right?"

Ishida nodded. "Of course."

Ichigo returned the nod and started to walk away again, but Ishida sighed and his words halted Ichigo. "She loves you, you thick-headed moron."

His body froze. Seconds past, and then he whirled around, his face contorted with anger. "What the hell are you playing?! You think this is some kind of _joke_?!"

"Well…considering the object of her affection, one would think it _should_ be a joke; but unfortunately it is not." Ishida watched the multitude of emotions play over the shinigami's face; anger, disbelief, hope… "I would not joke about something like this."

"You're wrong. She's not…she can't…" Ichigo raked his fingers through his hair. "Didn't you just hear that?! She's never even considered me!"

"I assure you, she's considered you for a long time."

Ichigo vehemently shook his head. "No. Shut up. Just shut up."

"She's the one who thinks that _you_ would never consider _her_. She's completely accepted it, content to love you without anything in return."

"You're delusional. Where are you getting this bullshit?"

"Unlike you, I actually make use of my brain."

Ichigo stared darkly at Ishida. "I don't even know why the hell I'm talking to you about this." He turned and quickly left the classroom. "Later."

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"Get the hell off my bed!"

Rukia ignored him and sat up, her hands clasped and eyes shining. "So? Did you tell her?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"And nothing."

Rukia blinked at him as he tossed his bag on the floor and plopped into the chair at his desk.

"What do you mean nothing?"

"I mean exactly that. Can you just shut up? I have homework."

"But that's impossible!"

"Look, I realize you're an old woman who hasn't been to school in decades, but students actually do get homework."

Rukia, frustrated, hurled a pillow into his face. "That's not what I mean, idiot!"

Ichigo angrily grabbed the pillow and threw it onto the ground. "She never _has_ and never _will_ think of me as anything more than a friend, all right? You happy now?"

The shinigami stared at the substitute in shock. "It can't be true…I was so sure…"

"Well, you were wrong, okay? So let's just drop it."

"No! Tell me _exactly_ what happened."

Ichigo glared at her, but finally gave in with a sigh and gave her a quick rundown, excluding Ishida witnessing the whole thing.

"You fool!" she sputtered when he finished. "That doesn't mean anything! You were so damn vague, what's the girl supposed to think?! She loves you! I'm sure of it!"

He growled in frustration and quickly stood up, knocking the chair backwards. "You know what? I'm getting _sick_ and _tired_ of people telling me that she's in love with me when clearly _nothing_ could be further from the truth. So just leave me alone, dammit!"

Rukia frowned in deep concern as her friend stomped out of his room. "Ichigo…you fool…"

She scowled down at the manga in her hands. She would fix this. Rukia glanced up at the calendar above his desk. Only two weeks until graduation. Not much time…but she be damned if she was going to let two people that were so important to her stay unhappy just because of a stupid misunderstanding.

Rukia smirked as she slapped the book on top of her knee. She'd get them their shoujo ending if it killed them.

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Eh, I'll eventually get a part 2 written ^^


	14. Stranger in Town

Holy crap thank you so much for all your amazing reviews!!! You guys are splendiferous X3

Meh, this is just one of the many AUs that attack my brain for IchiHime that I may or may not ever do anything with.

**AU:** 1888, Oklahoman territory

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"Papa! Hurry!" The young woman grunted under the weight of the nearly unconscious man leaning heavily onto her as she tried to take a step up the wrap-a-around porch. She flicked back her head, flipping back her long, heavy hair, breathing heavy as the hot, Indian summer sun beat down on them. "Come on, mister. Just a little bit…more…" Just then the screen door slammed open and a tall, dark-haired man with a scruffy beard walked out, his warm eyes wildly assessing the scene in front of him. "Papa…help me…"

Isshin ran forward and took the man's other arm. "Here we go, son. Can you take one more step up?" The man dragged his boot up the last step, moaning softly, his face contorted in pain. "There you go." Isshin looked at his daughter, questions written on his face, but he would save them for later. Right now they had an injured man to take care of.

After much struggle, they finally got him to the spare room, gently lowering him onto the bed. Isshin immediately grabbed his bag and pulled out the scissors, quickly cutting off the dusty shirt as Orihime ran out to get a basin of water. The doctor uttered a soft curse when he saw the bullet wounds. One in the shoulder and one in his side. He looked up when his daughter rushed back into the room, the water nearly sloshing out in her haste. He motioned for her to come to the man's side.

"Sweetheart… I need you to take out the bullets while I restrain him."

Orihime swallowed hard and smoothed her suddenly sweaty hands on the skirts of her muslin dress but nodded determinedly. They'd done this before, but…she hated it when the patient was awake. However, that wouldn't stop her from doing what needed to be done. Isshin climbed onto the bed, sitting on the stranger's legs and firmly holding down his arms. He looked to Orihime who was holding a lighter to the ends of the small tongs to sanitize. She quickly cleaned around the wounds as the metal tongs cooled and then again grasped them. She took a deep breath and looked up at her father. He nodded solemnly.

She looked over at the man's face as he mumbled something and lolled his head to the side. Focusing, she looked at the first wound in his side with a small frown…and then smoothly slipped into the hole. The wounded man immediately roared in pain and struggled against Isshin. The doctor fought to hold him still and Orihime caught hold of the bullet and carefully pulled it out. She let out a sigh of relief when he finally fainted and then dropped the bullet into the metal ashtray beside her, preparing to remove the second bullet.

Nearly an hour later the stranger was cleaned and his wounds dressed. Orihime sat by the bed dabbing a cool washcloth to his burning forehead, a concerned frown on her face as she carefully swept the cloth down his cheek, his neck.

"Well, Orihime. What's the story?" She twisted around to look back at her father who was leaning against the doorjamb, puffing on his pipe.

She sighed softly as she dunked the cloth back into the cool water. "There isn't much of a story to tell. I just found him lying out in the field. No horse. No gun. Nothing."

"Has he said anything yet?"

She shook her head as she twisted the cloth, excess water streaming into the basin.

Isshin took a long drag. "Well, guess we'll find out more when he wakes up." He studied his daughter for a moment and then looked at the young man with a critical eye. Finally he left with a shake of his head and a small smile on his face.

Orihime went back to desperately trying not to notice how handsome her patient was. _Really. Thinking about a thing like that when he's so injured. What would Papa think?_ She winced a little. Actually her father would probably be a little overly happy about it. Unconsciously, she bit on her bottom lip as her eyes went from his wild, orange hair to his rugged face down his corded throat and over his sculpted chest. He had again kicked the sheets down to his waist and –

"Oh! Oh dear!" Orihime dropped the cloth and snatched up the sheet when the young stranger started tossing again and before his bedding could shift any lower. She tucked it snuggly under his chin, her face beet red. "N-Now stop thrashing around. You've got to rest, you know." Grabbing up the cloth she again began to dab at his cheek, humming softly to distract herself from the reason behind her flaming cheeks.

Slowly his body started to relax under the soft tune. She smiled softly at his nearly relaxed face, a scowl still set onto his brow. Suddenly his eyes flew open causing her to gasp sharply. Amber eyes shifted to look up at her and he snatched out his hand to grab her wrist.

"M-Mister, it's okay. You're all right. You're safe here." She tried to soothe the wild look in his eyes, gently trying to retrieve her wrist. "You-"

He muttered something indiscernible.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Wha- Ah!" With a strength that he shouldn't have, he yanked on her wrist pulling her down, nearly on top of him. A groan escaped his lips as he painfully reached up with his wounded arm and swiftly pulled her head down. Before she could comprehend any of what was happening, her lips found themselves pressed firmly against his. She let out a small squeak and struggled to get away, but his hold on her was too strong. His soft but firm lips moved roughly against hers, his hand getting tangled in her hair.

Orihime felt herself getting nearly dizzy when just as suddenly as it had happened, his hold loosened and he fell back into unconsciousness. She stood there, bent over him, and in complete shock. Staring down at him with her fingers pressed against her lips, she didn't hear her father's heavy footsteps against the wood floor.

"Orihime?"

She whirled around, nearly toppling over. "Y-Yes?"

Isshin raised a brow at her nervous, flushed face, but decided not to comment. "Has he woken up yet?"

"U-Um…yes, he has."

"Good. Did you get his name?"

She shook her head. "He…um…he said something but I couldn't make it out before…before he went back to sleep."

"Hm." Isshin scratched thoughtfully at his short, scraggly beard. "Well, okay. I guess we'll know soon enough." He frowned in concern. "But you rest soon, ya hear?"

"Yes, papa."

He nodded, stepped forward to place the back of his hand on the patient's forehead, and then ruffled the top of Orihime's head. "Okay then, I'll leave you to it. I've got to go see about Mrs. Hubert's baby."

"See you at dinner?"

"Yup. See you then, sweetheart." He ruffled her hair again and placed a quick kiss on her cheek before heading out.

Orihime watched him go for a moment, but then quickly turned back to the man on the bed. Who _was_ he? What had he been doing out in their field? Why did he suddenly _kiss _her of all things?

And why were her lips _still_ tingling?

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	15. Serendipity

Whoamygosh you guys are awesome!! I can't believe I'm over a hundred reviews already!! DX Thank you, thank you, thank you!! And you guys liked that last one, huh? XD I got death threats and *glances at Sweety clinging on pant leg* a few encouraging leeches to make a story out of that XD. I might eventually, I'm not making any promises though. I love westerns though, so the possibility is definitely there. Thank you for the urgings though! I probably never would have considered doing it otherwise.

Another AU, but this one is done. Finished. This is all there is to it XD. So this is a definite never gonna do anything more with it. Someday I might revise it, flesh it out a bit more. But right now, it's just there.

**AU**: Paris, present day  
They're in an AU and they're older, which accounts for any ooc-ness. Self-confidence changes a person a lot XD.

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_Serendipity_

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She sighed softly as she let go of the fabric and the curtain softly fell back into place, hiding the beautiful Paris view that she hadn't really seen. Orihime turned away and grabbed up her coat and purse, quickly moving out the door of her hotel room before she could change her mind and seclude herself within its temptingly solitary walls.

Four weeks. But it barely felt like a day since he'd said those words…since time had stopped for her. Or at least it felt like it _should_ be in limbo. But time was stubborn and the sun kept setting and rising, setting and rising, setting and rising.

A week ago her friends had urged her to get out of the house. Her publisher had eagerly given her as much time off as she wanted. Apparently her work hadn't been up to par since…since _that_ day.

What had she been thinking by coming to Paris? The city of _romance_ of all things. The worst place for a single person to go unless they are completely satisfied with their status, and even if they _think_ they're happy the way they are, they'll quickly find out they're just fooling themselves. She sighed again as she punched the down button and listened to the humming of the elevators. What a stupid idea. She'd automatically come here because that's where they were supposed to have gone for their honeymoon. Stupid, stupid girl. What did she think would happen? That it'd be like the movies and he'd magically appear and tell her how wrong he was? Ridiculous.

She had loved him. She really had. Still did, to be honest. And when he had told her that he'd fallen for someone else, she'd recognized the look in his eyes because she knew it from the feelings in her own heart. He really, truly had fallen for someone else. She wasn't angry though. He was an honorable man who wouldn't have let this happen if he could have helped it, and he definitely hadn't cheated on her. He was too much of a gentleman for that.

_Uryuu_. She shut her eyes against the memory of his handsome face and those blue, blue eyes filled with tenderness and intelligence. The woman was so very different from her. Quiet, a mystery with so much depth, an alluring dark beauty, and a fellow doctor that understood Uryuu better than she ever could. The more she thought about the more she realized that Nemu Kurotsuchi was the true soulmate for Uryuu.

But that didn't make it hurt any less.

A loud cough made her eyes fly open to see the elevator had opened and a man was waiting on her. "Oh! I'm so sorry!" She rushed in, her cheeks slightly pink. The doors shut and she sneaked another glance at the man next to her. She bit her lip with worry and glanced anxiously at the slowly moving needle as it descended the twenty floors. The old elevator was awfully slow and the scowling man next to her was a little frightening…well-dressed, but that scowl… Not to mention bleached hair! At his age? He must be at least in his late twenties. That just couldn't be a good sign.

She slipped her hand in her bag and curled her fingers around the mace. Sometimes the well-dressed men were the ones a woman had to be most worried about. She'd scoffed when Tatsuki had insisted she bring it with her, but maybe –

Suddenly the elevator lurched causing her to stumble and her hand flew out to grasp the metal bar, but she forgot to let go of the mace and it fell to the floor, rolling loudly across the marble. She dared to glance at the stranger, hoping against all hope that he hadn't noticed…but the twitching at the corner of his mouth indicated he definitely was noticing if his raised eyebrows didn't.

Her breath caught when he bent down to retrieve what had rolled to his feet. She glared at the canned protection. _Traitor_. Her hand gripped the bar as she waited for the inevitable…

"Did you drop this?"

She glanced from the extended can to the man who was suppressing amusement. Swallowing, she quickly snatched it from his hand and stuck it back into her purse. "Thank you…"

"That's good that you're cautious, but I'm pretty harmless."

Orihime managed a small, if distrustful, smile. "I'm sure you are."

He chuckled slightly and turned back to watch the needle. "It's good to meet some one from my own country here. There's not many. Are you here on vacation?"

"Um…"

The corners of his mouth lifted when he apparently found her amusing again. She mused at how incredible it was that he could scowl and smile at the same time… "That's all right. You don't have to answer that."

For some crazy reason she felt bad…there was just something about him that made her feel like maybe she could trust him despite appearances…and she was normally a very intuitive person. "No, that's all right. Um…yeah, I guess I'm on vacation. What…uh…what about you?"

His lips went into a flat line for a split second and something flashed across his face…something she painfully recognized. "I guess you could say I'm on vacation too."

She nodded and studied the glossy floor. Were they the same? She and this stranger in the elevator? But isn't Paris supposed to be the place you go to _find_ romance, not get over it? Orihime looked up only to find his amber eyes studying her intensely. Her eyes widened. He was hiding it well, but it was there. The same hurt and betrayal. They _were_ the same.

Their gazes were abruptly unlocked when the elevator doors slid open with a ding. In silence they walked through the ornate lobby. He trotted slightly in front of her, opening the door. She smiled slightly as she walked through. "Thank you."

Quickly he waved a cab for her. She thanked him again and they parted.

Ichigo stood there and watched her cab set off down the street for a moment before shaking his head and hailing his own cab. Yes, she was remarkably attractive, but he wanted nothing to do with anything that was _remotely_ related to love. He didn't even know why he'd talked to her. It wasn't like him to just up and talk to strangers…but she'd just been so adorably cautious of him. He chuckled when he thought of her and her mace. He was used to people being afraid of him, but…

"Monsieur?"

"Huh?" His attention snapped back to the cab driver. "Oh! Sorry. Eifel Tower, sil vous plait."

"Oui."

Nearly twenty minutes later they pulled to a stop and Ichigo absently stepped out and paid the driver, staring up at the Eiffel Tower. What was he doing here? He'd proposed to _her_ atop that Goddamned bulk of metal, so what the hell was he thinking? That he'd get closure or something? Face his demons? He huffed and stuck his hands into his deep, coat pockets, hunching up his shoulders against the cold. Who knows? And for that matter, who cares? He was just another statistic, another marriage flushed down the hole of infidelity.

Four years. Four years they'd been married; dating much longer than that. And she'd just tossed all that out the window because she was bored. Bored! He'd never really thought of himself as a boring person…but maybe she was right. Maybe he _was_ boring.

Before he knew it he was standing in front of the elevator, waiting with the small crowd. He'd been so nervous all those years ago. He had known that she was way out of his league. An elite socialite that he'd happened to meet at a party that he had no business being at. He'd thought it had been fate.

It had been complete and utter bullshit is what it had been.

"Oh!"

Was he hearing things? That voice…his searching eyes found a head of bright auburn hair, big eyes staring up at him. "Oh."

"Um, hi," she said, laughing nervously.

The corner of his mouth lifted into a half smile. "Hi."

He watched her bite on her lip, appearing to suppress a smile. "Are you following me?"

"I don't know. That depends."

"On what?"

"Will you be flattered or will you try to mace me?"

He decided he really, _really_ liked her laugh. Once again the elevator ding broke their gazes. The tourists crowded into the elevator, separating them. She shyly smiled at him from across the cramped box as the doors closed. He couldn't help but smile back a little. And then quickly looked away. What was he doing? Flirting! This trip wasn't for flirting! This trip was for closure and for forgetting and…forgetting… He glanced back at the young woman, so different from his ex-wife who had been classy and dark and seductive. This woman was…he studied her amongst the crowd…she was like sunshine. Honest, unassuming, pure sunshine. And then it hit him like a ton of brinks.

_Rebound_. That's what he was doing. The first woman he met who was the complete opposite of her. Of course he was attracted to her! It was nothing. Meant nothing. _Nothing_!

The doors opened on the first tier and several people emptied out. He wondered if she was going to the top like he was. The second tier emptied out more people until it was just him, her, and an affectionate couple who were either on their honeymoon or having an illicit affair. He inwardly laughed at himself. _So cynical now, aren't we?_

Finally they came to their stop. Ichigo and Orihime awkwardly scooted past the otherwise occupied couple. Both clutched tightly to their coats when they were met by the bitterly cold wind. It had been a warm spring evening when he'd proposed. Opposite again.

"I think I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say that I'm flattered."

His lop-sided grin put strange fluttering in her stomach. "You really think that's wise? And here I thought you were the cautious type."

"I'm just a very good judge of character."

"Oh? And what's your judgment so far?"

"Hm…you're a very nice guy."

He blinked as she turned to walk towards the railing. Hadn't she been afraid of him not half an hour ago? Mace at the ready? He shook himself and followed her, leaning his side against the enclosure to stare at her. "And how did you come to that conclusion?"

She shrugged as her eyes took in the view. "Women's intuition."

He snorted and she turned offended eyes onto his face.

"What, you don't believe in women's intuition? I'll have you know mine is very sharp. _Unusually_ sharp, some may say."

"No matter how sharp your advantageous double X chromosomes make you, you don't even know my name, much less whether I'm a nice guy or not." He watched her eyes widen. Was that a hint of…horror? "Look if it means that much to you to know my name I-"

"Don't tell me you're a doctor."

"Huh? Doctor? How the hell did you know I was a doctor?"

Her eyes closed and she groaned as she turned back to the darkening sky. "Figures."

"But how did-"

"Who else but a doctor would make a chromosome reference?" she said wearily.

He scowled. "Well what do you have against doctors?"

She shook her head.

"Ex-boyfriend?"

Her eyes flicked over to him and back. "Ex-fiance."

"Oh."

"What kind of doctor are you?"

"You mean your X chromosomes aren't tingling?" She did nothing and he sighed and gave in to her silence. "Pediatrician."

Suddenly she straightened and looked at him in happy astonishment. "Pediatrician?"

"Yeah…does that put me back in your good graces?"

She beamed at him. "I knew you were a nice guy. And yes, as long as you're not a heart surgeon, you're in my good graces."

"Well that's a relief" he said, sighing dramatically. "Ya know, you're not a heart surgeon's wife."

Orihime raised her eyebrows at him. "Oh?"

"Yeah…heart surgeons are so…so…serious. Uptight. Grounded. Ambitious. You'd be squelched."

She smiled a little. "Your single X chromosome hard at work?"

He opened his mouth, and then closed it, looking at her in slightly amused confusion. "Well…normally, no. Am I wrong?"

"Actually, you're pretty right."

Ichigo frowned at the sadness that flitted across her face. "But you loved him anyhow."

"Yeah."

He studied her listless face for a moment. "He's an idiot to have let you go though."

"See? More evidence that you're a nice guy."

He held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, ya caught me."

"And thank you, but he's not an idiot. He's extremely intelligent. And so is she."

"She?!" Ichigo felt inexplicable anger rise up in him for this stranger. "You mean he-"

"Oh! Oh no…he didn't cheat on me if that's what you mean. He's a gentleman. He just…just fell from someone else harder than he'd fallen for me." She laughed a little and shook her head. "You wanna know the funny part? _He'd_ been the one to go after _me_ when I hadn't ever though of him that way before. I mean, we'd been in handiworks club together and were friends, but not much more than that. He had a crush on me all through high school and it took him till the last minute, graduation day, to get up the courage to ask me out.

"And then I only went out with him to be nice. I didn't want to say no to a friend, especially at graduation." She sighed and shook her head again. "Ironic, huh? He'd been the one pining for me and I'd been the one to fall hard only to be dumped in the end. And for another woman, no less… I am glad she's so amazing though. It makes this whole thing a little easier."

"Every little bit helps."

"Yeah…" She took in a deep breath and pushed her heavy hair back as she turned her body to study him. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Who was she?" She sent him a mischievous glance. "Or he."

"_She_."

"Ah."

"And she was my wife."

"Oh. I'm so sorry."

He shook his head and it was his turn to study the lights of Paris. "Don't be. She, uh…she turned out to be nothing like the person I thought she was." He turned to see knowing eyes studying his face, and for some reason he chuckled. "It was the pool boy. Can you believe it? How cliché can you get?"

She placed a soft, comforting hand on his arm. "She's crazy."

Another lop-sided grin spread across his handsome face. "You know, I just realized how crazy this is? Baring our sad love stories to each other, telling each other that we're amazing people who don't deserve our bad lot in life, and we've barely known each other for an hour. I don't even know your name."

She laughed lightly and stuck out her hand. "Orihime Inoue."

He grasped her gloved hand in his. "Ichigo Kurosaki."

"Nice to meet you…Ichigo."

"Likewise, Orihime."

They stood there, looking at each other, hands locked, chilly autumn wind whipping their hair about, liking the way each other's name rolled off the tongue and liking the way their names sounded on each others lips.

Finally Ichigo broke the silence. "Do you…uh…do you wanna go get a, uh, drink or something?"

She smiled warmly. "Yeah… that'd be nice."

He glanced from her face to their joined hands, back to her face. And decided he rather liked having her warm hand in his, so he simply twisted their hands about till she was by his side, their fingers interlocked. "Think we're done here?"

Orihime looked back at the view that she would have been looking at with…her glance returned to the ruggedly handsome face towering above her. Well, that didn't matter now, did it? "Yeah. I'm done. Are you?"

He didn't even look back. "Definitely."

Maybe this was just a rebound. Maybe they were both simply seeking something that was the complete opposite of what had failed them. Maybe this would only be a whirlwind romance. Maybe it wouldn't be a romance at all. Maybe just a healing friendship.

But maybe…just _maybe_…it could turn into something. Maybe something big. Maybe fate had done an about-face and had tossed them both a second chance.

It might hurt to try or it might not hurt to try…but wasn't it worth the risk to find out?

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Ichigo's ex-wife is no one. Just a random person in my head, so don't try to place her XD. If you say she's Rukia then I...well I won't appreciate that because I like Rukia XD. She's just a woman that Orihime will soon help him forget all about.

And of course they live happily ever after, replenishing the earth with redheaded children :D

Thank you for reading!!!


	16. Smut II

Sequel to Chapter 9, _Smut_, when Ichigo caught Orihime writing a smut scene on her computer at school.

And yeah, another one titled Smut and it still doesn't raise the rating. I'm so cruel XD.

Reeaally long. I don't know how that happened DX

Meh...

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_Smut II_

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"Are you sure about this?"

Rukia nodded forcefully and adjusted the tear drop necklace that fell between Orihime's breasts. "Definitely!"

Orihime sighed and critically looked herself up and down in the full length mirror. "Rukia, really, what if he doesn't even come like last year?"

"That won't happen. We asked a favor and Captain Ukitake was more than happy to send in a couple of reinforcements. There's no reason for that to happen again."

"Well, maybe it would be better if he didn't…" she muttered.

Rukia firmly grasped her friend's bare shoulders, turning her around. "What are you talking about?! This could be it! Tonight could be the night!"

Orihime shook her head. "I haven't even spoken to him in two years. It's just…it's silly to think some kind of movie magic will happen just because…because…argh!" She whirled around to needlessly straighten her bedding. "Besides…there's Kano to think about."

Rukia snorted in derision. "Kano indeed. You don't love him!"

"Well of course I don't love him! I haven't even agreed to go on a date with him yet."

"There is no 'yet' about it!" she insisted.

Orihime sighed. "Rukia. I will always…love him… But that doesn't mean I can't fall for someone else some day."

"Like hell it does!" The redhead jumped at the vehemence of her friend's sudden outburst. "You two belong together! It's epic, classic love like…like…Orihime and Hikoboshi!"

"Who would have been better off if they had never fallen in love because they can never really be together."

Rukia studied the young woman with concern. "Do you really think that? You think it would have been better to never have fallen for him?"

Orihime's eyes looked distant for a moment and then she sighed in surrender. "No…no I don't think that at all. I wouldn't take it back for the world."

Rukia's eyes turned soft as she watched her friend tug at her dress. "Orihime…"

Both girls were suddenly startled by banging on her front door. Orihime glanced nervously down at Rukia. The shinigami gently squeezed her arm and walked ahead of her out of the bedroom to the door, opening it quickly – _too_ quickly for Orihime's nerves.

"Hey Rukia! Daaamn you look good."

Rukia sighed and rolled her eyes as her fiancé ogled her body clad in a strapless, little black dress. "Oh it's just you. Where's Ichigo?"

Renji's face fell. "What the hell kind of greeting is that?!"

Rukia jabbed her thumb back at where Orihime was standing, hands clutched tightly in front of her. "Because those two reuniting is the event of the evening."

Renji crossed his arms in front of his broad chest and scowled down at the petite woman. "So I'm just chopped liver?"

She smiled sweetly up at him. "Yup."

The red-haired man stared at her for a few moments, and then suddenly grinned. "Okay." He moved past her and plopped onto the sofa, pulling at the uncomfortable red tie that accented his black suit and shirt.

Rukia glared at him distrustfully. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. We'll just see how long you can resist this chopped liver tonight."

She snorted and tossed her head defiantly. "Idiot."

Renji's grin widened at the blush that dusted her cheeks, stretching and resting his hands behind his head. "Ichigo's on his way. He got held up."

Rukia frowned. "Hollows?"

"No, traffic." He glanced over at the nervous girl who looked like she would sprint out of there like a scared rabbit any minute. "His head's gonna explode when he sees you, Orihime," he smiled encouragingly.

Orihime started as if she forgot he was even there. "Oh…" She started to wring her hands. "You know, actually, I think I'm going to go change into that black cocktail dress I have. I-"

She was cut off by the sound of a roaring engine pulling up to the building, and then just as suddenly the engine cut.

"There he is," Renji commented.

Orihime stared at him with wide eyes. "Eh?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention," Rukia said. "Ichigo got a motorcycle a few months ago."

Orihime's hand fluttered to her chest. _Oh be still my heart._ As if the man alone wasn't enough havoc on her heart, he had to go and get a motorcycle. Her mind was already wandering to how to-die-for he would look on a motorcycle in a leather jacket and… She shook her head. _Easy girl_.

Meanwhile, Ichigo had stepped off his bike, slipped off his helmet, and ran his hand through his orange hair. He hesitated before stepping towards the small apartment building, staring up at it. This was it. Two years. _God_, he missed her. He hadn't really realized how much until he stood in front of her old apartment that she had kept for whatever reason. But he was also scared shitless. And the worst part? He wasn't even sure what he was so scared of.

He raked his fingers through his hair as he forced his feet to move forward, his mind briefly flashing back to this time a year ago.

_He sat on his dorm bed, staring down the book sitting on his desk. He took in the millionth deep breath in the past hour. This was worse than gearing up to fight arrancar._

_Wait. He didn't gear up. Gearing up wasn't his thing. Jumping in with two feet, eyes shut. _That_ was his thing. He would just get up, grab it, open it, read it. Bing badda boom. He blew out a final breath as he cracked his knuckles._

"_Are you going to read her novel or do battle with it?"_

_Ichigo looked up at his roommate who was now pushing up his glasses and looking at Ichigo with an amused face. Not for the first time he wondered how the hell Ishida and him had become roommates at university. "I _am_ gonna read it! What are you doing just standing there like a creep? Don't you have homework or something?"_

_Ishida didn't dignify him with an answer and calmly walked over to his desk to sit down primly and open his books. After a few more moments of Ichigo staring at the book, Ishida side-glanced him and commented, "It's actually really good."_

"_Of course it's good!" Ichigo growled at him. "It's Inoue's book. Why the hell wouldn't it be good?!"_

_Ishida held up his hands in defense and said nothing as he turned back to his homework._

_Ichigo snorted, stood up, and swiped the book from the desk. He made it all the way back to his bed, leaning up against the pillows with the novel in his hands._

"_Next step would be to open it."_

"_Shut up."_

_Ichigo's thoughts wandered back. That one scene he'd read on her computer screen in high school had put him completely off kilter. For weeks afterward he couldn't get that scene with him and Orihime as its characters out of his head. It kept playing over and over in his head, in his dreams. He'd been awkward around her because every time she was near, all he could think about was her against a wall and him in between her legs. Granted, she had been at the forefront of his mind since she had been taken to Hueco Mundo. But the scene had escaladed things into practically an obsession. He still didn't know how he'd managed to graduate._

_He set his jaw and cracked it open to chapter one._

_One week later Ishida was yelling at him. "What do you mean you can't go? Of course you can go! What am I supposed to tell them?!"_

_Ichigo's face was set in stone. "Tell them there was hollow trouble."_

"_Hollow – Kurosaki, what is this all about? You've been acting strange ever since you read that novel. Is it-"_

"_Just shut up and go, Ishida." Ichigo turned his back on him and after several seconds of feeling Ishida's glare burn into his back, the door finally clicked shut. He shook his head to himself. No matter how mad the Quincy got, he never slammed a door._

_His heart ached at his choice not to go to the old gang's reunion, but…he just…well, basically what it all came down to is that he was coward. Her book was incredible. It was now a bestseller. And his mind was playing tricks on him because it sounded so much like a story about them. And he didn't…well, he didn't know anything. Except that he just couldn't face her right now. That much he did know._

_Ichigo flopped onto his bed with a groan and hoped they would buy the hollow story._

He knocked on her door before he could give in to the strong temptation to tuck tail and run. The door opened way too fast, a smiling redhead greeting him.

Only it was the wrong redhead.

"Hey Renji," he stated disinterestedly.

"What the hell? You too? I might as well not even be here!"

Ichigo shrugged.

Renji grumbled and turned away to flop back down on the sofa. Rukia walked up to Ichigo and playfully punched him in the arm. "Long time no see, baka."

A corner of Ichigo's mouth lifted and he ruffled the miniature shinigami's hair. "Sup, Rukia."

"Hey, hey, hey! Don't touch the hair!" she yelled as she reached up to try to fix it.

Ichigo stared at Rukia. But not because he found her attempts at flattening the frizz fascinating, but because he could feel _her_. All he had to do was lift his eyes and he'd see what he felt, her standing there, and probably looking beauti –

Without his permission his gaze lifted. His eyes slowly widened. He felt his jaw loosen and then drop.

"H-Hello…Kurosaki-kun."

He swallowed. Hard. Oh shit, he _knew_ this was a mistake. As if it wasn't bad enough that she'd gone from a pretty young girl to a beautiful young woman in the two years since he'd seen her…that _dress_. That dark red halter dress that dipped low into her breasts. That damned dress that hit mid thigh in the front and nearly reached the floor in the back. That fucking luxurious hair that tumbled down her shoulders. Suddenly, irrationally, he hated that Rukia and Renji were there. He wanted to be alone with her.

"Ano…"

She fidgeted and he watched her long, long legs shift and move temptingly. And then he felt something else. Something that he would regret. It boiled up from within him. He not only didn't want the couple next to him being there, he didn't want them _seeing_ her. He didn't want _anybody_ to see her. Not like this. _This_ was for him and him alone.

The first words he said to her he barked out in an angry growl. "What the _hell_ are you wearing?! You can't wear that out!"

The expectant smirks that had been on Rukia and Renji's faces were wiped off by his shocking words. Orhime's eyes grew huge as her body went very still, staring back at the man who was glaring at her body.

And then…she couldn't explain it. She didn't know why. But she felt anger of her own rising up. The temper that rarely came out except to protect those she loved was threatening to erupt onto the person she loved the most.

Who did he think he was? Barreling in here after two years and acting like her father! Her fists clenched and her eyes narrowed into a glare. He hadn't even bothered to come last year. Surely the hollow trouble hadn't lasted all night, if there even _was_ hollow trouble. Out of all her friends, he was the only one who couldn't be troubled to call her with congratulations on her first novel and its bestselling success, if he'd even taken the time to read it. Not to mention her second novel.

"Yes, I can," she stated with a calm she didn't feel.

Ichigo blinked, finally tearing his eyes from her sinful dress to look at her face, stunned to see an expression of anger and…hurt?

"And I _will_," she finished, more of her anger coming out, and bent down to snatch up her purse and then walked up to him, her stilettos making her nearly as tall as him, her eyes challenging him. "Excuse me."

Dazedly, he stepped aside to give her access to the front door. As soon as it clicked shut a fist slammed into his face, and he barely caught himself before he toppled to the floor.

"You idiot!" Rukia nearly screamed as Renji clenched the black fabric of Ichigo's shirt in his fist, pulling back for another punch. "I'd beat you to a pulp if it wasn't for this dress!"

He didn't even try to block Renji's second punch since he felt he probably deserved it. He didn't know what had come over him. For that matter, he didn't know what had come over Orihime.

"I…" He looked up at his seething friends, Rukia now pointing her finger at him. "I don't even know what to say to you right now! I can't believe that after two years, _that's_ how you say hello! What are they teaching you at that university?! Douchebag 101? Or are you at 402 now?"

Renji gave him a good shake. "Orihime looks gorgeous and that's what you say to her? What is wrong with you?!"

That broke Ichigo out of his stupor and he glared up at Renji with murderous eyes, easily wrenching himself from the grip on his shirt. "Shut up. And don't look at her!"

Renji scowled in confusion. "Look at her? What the hell are you-" His eyes flew open in realization as Ichigo made his way towards the door. "Holy shit, are you jealous?"

Rukia shook her head and spoke before Ichigo could yell out his denial. "No it's more than that, he's possessive of her."

"What kind of shit are you saying?!" he yelled at them. "I haven't even seen her in two years, what the hell would make me…_possessive_ of her?!"

The smirk was returning to Rukia's face. "That's exactly _why_ you haven't seen her in two years. You're in love with her. And you're scared like the pathetic coward you are."

Ichigo's eyes grew huge underneath his scowl. He really did _not_ appreciate that she knew him so well. Strained seconds passed. "That's insane. Come on, let's just go."

When the door slammed shut Rukia grinned up at Renji. "Told you it would be the event of the evening. Things may progress faster than I thought they would."

On the sidewalk below Orihime jumped at the sound of the door slamming shut and dread filled the pit of her stomach. She could _not_ believe she'd just done that, almost as much as she couldn't believe he'd just said that. Defied Ichigo? She had definitely gained more self-confidence after the war and certainly in college…but apparently more than she thought she had.

She braced herself as she heard his heavy footsteps hitting the last of the stairs. He paused for a few seconds, and then continued towards her. She _hated_ how her whole body heated up at the mere feel of his reiatsu and his stare behind her.

Before either could say a word, the door opened and shut again and Renji shunpo'd down to the pavement with Rukia in his arms. They stared at him.

"Oi! How the hell did you do that? Aren't you in a gigai?" Ichigo questioned.

"Yeah, didn't you hear about Urahara's new gigais?"

"No…"

"Oh, well these allow us to shunpo and do limited kido."

Ichigo snorted. "Your kido is limited with or without a gigai."

"Shut the hell up!"

"Anyhow," Rukia interjected. "We'll meet you guys there! I think we'll be the last ones to get there."

Orihime paled. Ichigo looked at her in disbelief. "What do you mean? Where's Ishida and his big ass car?"

"Oh, he and Nemu are already at the restaurant. They ended up having to pick up Chad, Tatsuki, Keigo, and Mizuiro too so there wasn't really any room left. Just take your motorcycle."

"But-"

The shinigami couple was gone before he could say another word. He glared after their reiatsu trails and cursed under his breath. A scowl firmly in place, he turned around, refusing to look at her. "Sorry…"

She pressed her lips together, knowing it was for her having to ride on a motorcycle and not for what he'd said. She stayed silent as he shrugged out of his black leather jacket and held it out with two hands. "Here." He glanced up briefly when she didn't move. "It'll get freezing when we speed up."

"What about you?"

"I'm used to it." He shook the jacket. "Come on."

Reluctantly she stepped forward and allowed him to help her put it on. Silently she chastised herself for imagining that his hands had lingered on her shoulders. Even if she felt the tingling, it was just her mind playing tricks on her. He handed her his extra helmet and she put it on, but fumbled with the complicated strap. He stepped up to her and gently swatted her hands away. "Here, let me."

His fingertips brushing her neck sent tingles down her spine and she prayed for him to hurry. Finally he finished and she watched as he swung his leg over the bike, straightening it up and kicking back the kickstand.

He looked back at her, waiting. She licked her lips and walked towards it a little timidly, her heels softly clicking on the pavement. Oh, she wasn't nervous about the bike. She'd always wanted to ride on a motorcycle. It was the being pressed up against him that wasn't going to be so much fun…or rather, be too much fun.

She reached behind her to grab up her long skirt and awkwardly swung her leg over the bike, eventually settling in behind him, trying to keep her bare thighs away from him. Maybe she should have changed into the more modest dress she'd originally wanted to wear after all. She really shouldn't let Rukia talk her into these types of things…

Without warning he fired it up, the roar an explosion in what had been almost tangible silence. He glanced back at her and then reached behind him to grab her arms, pulling them around his waist. "Hold on."

She was about to stubbornly pull back her arms when he suddenly sped forward. She squeaked and instinctively tightened her arms and legs around him. So much for staying away from him, she thought miserably as they tore down the road, her bare legs clamped to the outside of his thighs.

Ichigo gripped the handles tightly, accidentally speeding up even faster. He took a deep breath, forcing his grip to loosen and feeling her breasts against his back as he took another deep breath. Guiltily, he admitted she really didn't have to hang on to his waist like this, she could easily hold onto the sides of her seat, but…well he'd acted on what he wanted before his brain could catch up with him and now it was too late. What could he say?

The restaurant was far, the ride was a long, sweet torture for both of them. By the time they reached it Ichigo was grateful he'd chosen relaxed jeans today. She wobbled a little on her heels when she got off the bike and he reached out to steady her.

"You all right?"

She nodded shortly, gently disengaging her arm from his hand and looking away to straighten her skirt and smooth her hair. He swung off his motorcycle and pretended to fiddle with something. Out of all the scenarios he had thought of this…this never crossed his mind. Orihime quiet? Orihime angry? At _him_? It was like he'd tried to get back to Karakura Town and ended up in his own personalized Twilight Zone.

He finally turned back to her and stopped her before she shrugged out of his jacket. "No, keep it on."

For the first time since her apartment she looked him straight in the eye, anger flashing across her eyes. Her chin jutted up a little in defiance and she let the jacket fall off her arms and then held it out to him. "Thank you."

He took it from her and hated how his eyes slowly raked down her body, and continued to watch her as she walked towards the restaurant. Hated how he loved the way she walked in heels. He shook himself and jogged up to walk beside her. They were quiet until he opened the tall, wooden door for her.

"Thank you," she said simply as she moved past him, the subtle perfume driving his olfactory crazy. He scowled after her as she walked up to speak to the hostess. _Always so damned polite_.

The hostess led them to the private, round table in the back where all their friends were waiting. Enthusiastic greetings and compliments were passed around and the hubbub quieted as Ichigo and Orihime took the only two seats that were left, right next to each other.

Ishida quirked an eyebrow as he looked over his roommate's conspicuously casual attire. Black t-shirt, relaxed dark denim jeans, black shitkickers, and a leather jacket that he tossed over the back of his chair. "Don't get all dressed up just for us."

"Shut up." Ichigo smirked at his roommates light blue tie that matched the light blue dress of his girlfriend. "At least I'm not the sissy who sewed matching tie and dress for his girlfriend."

The good-natured conversation continued round the table, but over the course of dinner it didn't even get past Keigo how Ichigo and Orihime hadn't spoken one word to each other. Tatsuki cast a questioning look at Rukia who started making weird hand signals. Eventually she figured out that Orihime and Ichigo were having a fight of some sort…wait…that couldn't be right. Ichigo and Orihime fighting? She couldn't even begin to imagine them getting mad at each other! She had to be reading Rukia wrong…

But after a few moments of studying the way they deliberately avoided speaking, touching, looking. _Holy shit! They are fighting!_ At first she was alarmed, but then…this was something different. This might actually work to shake things up a bit. But…after an hour of no talking…maybe it wouldn't hurt to rock the apple cart a bit.

Orihime was taking a swig of her wine when Tatsuki turned towards her. "So, Orihime. How's your Kano doing?" The tomboy smirked when her friend choked on her wine, nearly spitting it out. Chad, who was sitting on the other side of Orihime, gently patted her back. Tatsuki dared a glance at Ichigo – his eyes were completely fixed upon Orihime. She grinned. Mission accomplished.

"K-Kano?" Orihime managed. "He's not _my_ Kano!"

"Oh? But he will be soon though, right? Isn't he that hottie basketball player who's been asking you out practically non-stop for the past few months? I thought you'd just agreed to go out with him."

Tatsuki frowned a little when she sneaked a glance at Ichigo again. Was he…was he _bending_ that poor spoon?!

"No, no, no! I haven't agreed to anything yet!"

"Ah!" Rukia chimed in, wanting to get in on the apple cart upset. "The ominous 'yet'. Why, Orihime, are you stringing that poor boy along?"

"No!" she cried, her cheeks flaming. Oh why did she have such evil friends? "I just…I just…" She just _knew_ she had two holes burned into the side of her head from Ichigo's intense stare. Why on earth was _he_ so interested? She sighed, feeling angry again. Probably going to say some fatherly thing to her again as if he _owned_ her or something. Because that was clearly what she was to him. Like a little sister.

"Well, Orihime?" Tatsuki urged. "Do you like him or not?"

Orihime shocked them all by shrugging and taking another sip of her wine. "Yeah…yeah I guess I do." _Liar_. But what was the point anymore? Ichigo wasn't interested and never would be so, to be practical, there was no reason to –

The chair next to her scooted back loudly and suddenly she was being tugged out of her chair by an iron grip on her arm. "Wha – Ichigo! What are you doing?! Let go!"

The sound of his name on her lips made him pause, but then he continued to pull her away from the table. "We need to talk."

Orihime continued to try to get out of his grip without making a scene. But her efforts were fruitless and suddenly they were out in the cool night air at the back of the restaurant. Finally he released her. "What the _hell_ was that?" he ground out.

She blinked at him in astonishment, absently rubbing her arm. "What are you talking about? What was what?! You're the one dragging me out into a dark alley like a lunatic!"

He took a moment to gather his thoughts, trying not to be distracted by the anomaly of Orihime feuding with him and the tantalizing rise and fall of her breasts that anger was causing. "Who the hell is this Kano idiot?!"

"He's not an idiot! I think I made it pretty clear inside just who he is."

"Are you gonna go out with him?"

"Y-Yes!" She turned her head to frown down the alley.

"Do you like him?"

She kept her gaze on the darkness. "I said that earlier didn't I?"

"But is it true?"

She gasped when she heard and felt his voice near her ear, knowing if she turned her head she'd be dangerously close to kissing him. "I…" She couldn't _think_ when he was so close! _Why_ was he so close?!

"Tell me." His hands were up against the building behind her now, his lips inches from her ear, her bare back pressed up against the rough stone, his voice low and husky. "Your novel…"

"M-My novel?"

"Yeah. Tell me how…no, _why_ your characters felt…why did it feel like I was reading about _us_?" She gasped. He didn't know whether to be encouraged or not. "Or tell me I'm an idiot who's seeing things that aren't there, seeing things I want to see but can never have."

"I…" Suddenly his hand was running down her arm, making her shiver, clouding her head.

"You…tell me why I can't get you out of my head." Ichigo moved his hand down to grip her hip, pulling her thigh up around his waist. "Tell me why I can't get this scene out of my head. Two _fucking_ years and the girl never changes. She's always _you_."

He turned his head, his lips lightly brushing across her cheek. "Tell me why you in that dress makes me feel like I'm losing my mind. Tell me why I don't _any_one else to see you in it. Only me."

He pulled back, daring to look into her stormy eyes. "Tell me to stop."

Unconsciously, she licked at her lips and the grip on her thigh tightened. She wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell him everything. If only her voice would work.

"Dammit," he cursed and firmly pressed his lips against her mouth. He groaned loudly, gripping her back with his other hand and pulling her in flush up against him. Her arms flew up around him and tightly hugged his neck as his soft, soft lips stroked her mouth. The hand on her back moved up, up, up, over her neck, and tangled itself in her thick hair, angling her head so he could deepen the kiss.

She tightened her leg around his waist and softly moaned, the vibrations making him shudder against her. Her fingers raked through his hair, pulling him closer, wanting more of him, all of him.

Briefly, she wondered if she was doing this right – but she soon felt that he was apparently satisfied with her inexperience when he backed her against the building and ground into her. She arched her back, pressing her breasts against his chest, making him press harder against her back, intensifying their kiss.

Moments passed before he finally tore his lips from her and rested them against her forehead, his breathing heavy as he whispered her name, "Orihime."

She took a few seconds to gather her senses before speaking. "E-Experiencing it is _so_ much better than writing it."

He choked out a laugh and pressed a kiss to her temple. "I would hope so."

They stood there, seconds, minutes passing, not wanting to let go of the moment, a little afraid… But his hand lazily stroking her bare back was making her dizzy, and she had to know. "Ichigo?"

He loved the sound of his name on her lips. "Yeah?"

"What does this mean? For us, I mean…"

The hand on her back paused and she waited apprehensively. Maybe she shouldn't have asked that. She was probably reading too much into what was nothing more than a fantasy fulfillment.

"Well, for starters you can tell that Kani bastard to go to hell. No, wait…I'll go up there and tell him myself."

She smiled. "Kan_o_. And he's not a bastard."

His arms tightened around her possessively and growled into her hair. "He's competition. Automatic bastard label."

"Then he's not a bastard, because he's never _been_ competition." She took in a deep breath and softly managed to get the words out. "Y-You've _never_ had competition."

Ichigo pulled back and when she wouldn't look at him he put his hand under her chin and tugged. "Really?"

Honest, grey eyes stared back at him.

"And the novel…?"

"Yeah…"

"I'm an idiot."

She shrugged.

He flashed her a half-smile. "Don't be so quick to protest."

Orihime smiled and blushed as she quickly pressed a kiss to his mouth. He grinned and tightened his grip to pull her in for another –

"Awww!"

"Shh!"

Orihime and Ichigo looked at each other with wide eyes and then looked over at the door they had come through only to see it cracked open several peeking heads stacked one on top of the other.

"What the hell are you doing you nosy bastards?!"

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	17. Queen

Omygosh thank as always for all your amazing reviews!! I never expect that much but you guys are always just so awesome!! *tears up* Ahem...anyhow, forgot to mention that last one was also part of a prompt challenge on FLOL from **darkinsanity13** :D (prompt was 'dress'). And this one is the same, the prompt was 'queen'. I did this a while ago, but forgot to publish it here XD. Anyhow, many of you have already read it, so just ignore me XD.

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_Queen_

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"Checkmate!"

Orihime frowned at the checkered board. "I disagree."

Ichigo blinked, his upraised arms of triumph faltering. "What?! What do you mean you disagree? You can't disagree. Checkmate is checkmate."

"Well…my queen's still safe."

"…So? I've got the king. Game over. Kingdom conquered."

Orihime raised a skeptical eyebrow at her fiancé. "Oh really? Who gave _him _all the power?"

"Uh…" He scowled at her. Dammit, he just wanted to collect his winnings.

"So I should just accept that if the king dies all is lost? That's pretty bleak. What about the Queen? She could probably do a better job. Why, one of the greatest rulers of England was Queen Elizabeth I. She did perfectly fine without a king."

"Well…I guess, but it's the rules of the game, Hime. I won fair and square and you gotta pay up!"

She shook her head, her rich auburn hair swinging in front of her shoulders. "Well I disagree with the rules of the game. They're downright sexist!"

"Sexist?!"

"Yes, who's to say…" She paused and then her hand hovered over the board a moment before moving her piece and capturing his queen. "There, you see? While you were busy conquering my king, my stealthy knight has captured and killed your queen. What if she was the real brains behind his rulership? Or what if the king is so distressed by her death that he can't function? The government crumbles and I can easily swoop in and defeat you with my queen at the helm." She moved again and captured his king. "Checkmate!" she exclaimed with a bright grin on her face.

Ichigo gaped at her. "You-" he shook his head, trying to sort out her logic. "You can't do that! You can't talk your way into winning chess!"

She smiled sweetly and took a sip of her hot cocoa. "I think I just did."

He pointed at her accusingly as she calmly stood from the small table. "W-Wait a minute, we're not done here!"

She leaned down and quickly kissed his astonished mouth on her way to the sofa. His scowling eyes followed her as she plopped down and crooked her finger at him. Dumbly, he stood up and followed the gesture, sitting at the other end of the small couch.

Orihime shifted, propping her sock feet up on his thighs and settling into the cushions.  
He glared at her and she sighed contentedly, closing her eyes as he began massaging her feet. _How had this happened?_ Just a minute ago he was about to get a free foot massage and now here he was _giving _one! His eyebrows furrowed deeper. She hadn't even really won, had she? She'd disputed the rules of the game but she can dispute all she wants, rules are rules. So…he glared back at her content face, her arms casually crossed under her breasts. "How the hell did you do that?"

"Hm? Do what?"

"Talk your way out of my winnings and into yours?"

"Ichi, there's a reason I was at the top of the class and you weren't."

His face fell. "Why you…you little brat."

Orihime's eyes danced as she tried to hold back her mirth.

"Oh you think that's funny?" Suddenly he grinned wickedly and grabbed both her ankles with one hand, holding them tightly, causing her to squeal in fear. "What about this?" He wiggled his fingers on the bottoms of her sensitive feet and she started screaming with laughter.

"I-Ichigo…stop!"

"Oh? You want me to stop?" he asked loudly above her squeals.

"Yes!"

"Then say, 'Darling, dearest fiancé, I'm _so _sorry. You're the smartest person I know'." He stopped and she stared at him with wide eyes, her chest heaving.

"But…you mean you want me to lie?!"

He stared at her in shock. Slowly his face darkened and a growl escaped his throat. "Brat…"

"I-I-Ichigo…wait- No!" She screamed when he pounced on her and tickled her sides sending her into more peals of laughter.

"You got something to say to me yet?"

She bit down on her lip, shaking her head stubbornly.

He paused in his torturing to gesture around the cabin. "You realize your screaming is pointless. There's no one to hear you for miles."

"Well…" She looked up at him demurely. "I do realize that. But do you realize that I'm not the only ticklish person here?"

"Eh? What are you talking about? I'm not ticklish!"

"Mm," she nodded. "Not really, except on one specific spot."

Ichigo's eyes widened as he stared down at his deceptively sweet-faced fiancé. He'd forgotten she knew where his- Suddenly he yelped when she snuck her hand in between his legs and tickled the spot on the inside of his thigh. The shock sent him bouncing off of her, tumbling to the floor, bringing Orihime with him.

He groaned and then raised his head to scowl darkly at the giggling woman sprawled on top of him. She grinned cheekily. "Told you the queen is the brains behind the operation." Before he could retort, she quickly leaned down till her lips brushed against his downturned mouth, and murmured against his lips, "Checkmate."

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	18. Density: Part 2

Sequel to Chapter 13, Density.

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_Density II_

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Rukia crouched in her hiding spot, chuckling menacingly as she tossed out a banana peel in Orihime's path, Ichigo coming down the hallway from the other direction. This would do it. How many times in shoujo had the girl tripped and fallen on the boy and after revelations and awkward moments, they got together and lived happily ever after? It was practically fool-proof! She grinned as Orihime came closer and closer and – Bingo! She stepped on it and Rukia struggled not to clap as she stumbled, waiting for the moment when she would fall and Ichigo would catch her and love would blossom and –

"Whoa, you okay, Inoue?"

Wait a second. He was just standing there. Looking at Orihime. An upright Orihime. She hadn't fallen? She'd…She'd _caught_ herself?! That practically goes against the very laws of nature!

"Hai, hai! Thank you, Kurosaki-kun!"

"Yeah." He bent down to pick it up. "Dammit, who the hell leaves a banana peel in the middle of the damned hallway?" Suddenly his eyes widened when he flipped it over.

"Something wrong?"

"Huh? Oh…no. Nothing. I'll just throw this away."

"Okay, well I'll see you in class!"

"Yup."

Rukia was too busy glaring at Orihime's back to notice the dark figure looming over her, emanating pure fury, holding up a banana peel in between his thumb and forefinger.

"Rukia!" he growled menacingly.

She jumped and squeaked, scooting away till her back hit the wall. "Ichigo! What a pleasant surprise! Fancy meeting you here! Why are you holding up a banana peel?"

"You know very well why I'm holding up a banana peel." He turned so the small Chappy doodle was clearly seen on the yellow skin. "What the _hell_ is your problem?"

Rukia scrambled to her feet, stuck up her chin defiantly. "My problem is you have about as much backbone as a slug!"

Ichigo angrily threw the peel into a nearby trash can. "I don't see what your opinion of my backbone has to do with you trying to injure Inoue!"

She sighed and shook her head. "It was to get her to fall on you and then her boobs would be all up against you and then you'd live happily ever after."

Ichigo's facial expressions were fighting among being embarrassed at the mention of Inoue's boobs pressed up against him, angry at her meddling, and confused about how falling on him would result in eternal bliss. "Whatever, just let it go."

A low, snobby voice sounded behind him. "I'm afraid that's impossible."

He whirled around, glaring at the intruder. "Ishida," Ichigo warned. "I told you not to get in my fucking business."

"Hey!" Rukia kicked him in the gut causing him to howl in pain. "You idiot! This isn't just about you!"

"Of course it is! You people just-" He was cut off by another punch in the jaw.

"Are you even _thinking_ about Orihime?!"

"Are you insane?!" he shot back, clutching his face and stomach. "She's _all_ I think about!" The blood drained from his face as he glanced back and forth between the smirks his two "friends" were donning. "_Shit_."

"That's so sweet!" Rukia cried.

Ichigo gave her a disgusted look.

"Now, if you said something like that she would actually understand you," Ishida pointed out.

Thankfully the bell rung and Ichigo grumbled something as he pushed the Quincy out of his way and marched to the classroom. Thank God graduation was in less than two weeks. Then he wouldn't have to deal with their shenanigans and he could go to university and she…she could…wait, what _was_ she doing? He slid into his seat, eyes stayed on her as she animatedly chatted with Ryo. He didn't remember her ever saying anything… What if…what if she was going somewhere far off? His chest tightened in panic. Well, he reasoned with himself as he unconsciously clutched the front of his uniform jacket, it doesn't matter because if that's the case, all the better that he never say anything about how he feels about her. Ever.

Orihime felt that tingly feeling on the back of her neck as if someone was staring at her. She turned in her seat and blinked in surprise when she saw who was staring at her and _how_. Was he having a heart attack? Just when she was about to say something he turned away to stare, no, _glare_ out the window.

She sighed and turned back to Ryo. "So anyway, I think I'm definitely going to go to NYU for school."

"You don't sound too happy about it," Ryo stated.

Orihime forced a smile. "No, no. I am! I really am." She looked down and fiddled with her papers, relieved when the teacher announced that class was beginning. Finally this past weekend she'd made her decision. She'd been accepted at both Tokyo University and NYU. It was just a matter of deciding, did she really want to go to the same college as Ichigo? He was her friend and as such she would miss him at NYU as well as all her friends, but he was also the person she'd been in love with for the past few years. She was fine with the whole unrequited love dance, but she couldn't be in love with only him for the rest of her life…even if she wanted to. She had to eventually find someone else and the best way to do that was to separate herself from him. She'd been content to simply love him, but now was the time for change.

She let out a heavy sigh that was louder than she had anticipated and she blushed when several heads turned to stare at her, quickly propping up an open book in front of her and sliding down into her seat. And the sooner she left the better, most likely.

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Ichigo let his head fall to the desk with a bang. They'd trapped him after school and now he was surrounded by a posse intent on burning him at the stake of rejection. Is it not enough that she basically indicated she'd never even considered the fact that he was a boy and she was a girl and that might mean something? Oh no. They wanted blood.

And now they were arguing over the best method to murder him.

"I say stick with the basics, flowers, chocolates, engraved little notes. That type of thing."

Rukia punched Renji in his side causing the big man to groan in pain. "How unoriginal and unromantic!"

"It's a good standby! Besides, this is Orihime. She'll be dazzled by anything from him."

"Well she deserves to be more than dazzled!"

"I believe what Inoue-san deserves," Ishida pushed up his glasses. "Is the straightforward truth."

"I _gave_ her the straightforward truth," he ground out. "Now just leave me alone!"

Rukia ignored him and tapped her chin in thought. "Maybe…poetry?"

Renji burst out laughing. "Him?! Poetry?! You've got to be kidding me! He probably doesn't even know who Shakespeare is."

"Of course I do!" Ichigo exploded. "How the hell do _you_ even know about him?!"

"I read!" Renji shot back.

"But do you read Shakespeare?"

"Of course!"

"Okay. Quote me something."

"Uh…well…Romeo, O Romeo! Wherefore art thou O Romeo?"

"Mhm. Great. Pick the most famous line in history after 'May the force be with you'. I'm _really_ impressed, Renji."

"All right, smartass. You got something better?"

"Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love."

Three mouths dropped open as they stared at him in disbelief.

"What?"

Rukia turned to Ishida. "Is that right? Did he really just quote Shakespeare?"

Ishida coughed and adjusted his glasses. "So it would seem. A little grim, but definitely Shakespeare. How the devil does this Neanderthal know something like that?"

"Dammit, Ishida! How many times do I have to tell you not to talk about me like I'm not here?!"

The Quincy ignored him as he went deep in thought. "This might just work…very romantic. If we can find a straightforward enough poem…"

"No way! No way in hell am I quoting poetry to Inoue!"

"Well," Rukia remarked. "You don't have to quote, you could write your own."

Ichigo glared at her and then finally shot of his chair. "Enough! No poetry! No chocolates or engraved notes. No nothing! I lied, okay? I don't love her."

Ishida rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right."

"I'm serious!" Ichigo roared. "I don't love Inoue! Never have, never will so quit pestering me about it!"

Wildly he pushed between Rukia and Renji, intent on stomping out of the classroom when a pale figure at the doorway stopped him in his tracks. "Inoue?" She stood there, staring, eyes wide, face completely drained of all color."No," he breathed. She couldn't be there right now, he was hallucinating. This wasn't happening. But her trembling voice cut through the electric silence and he knew she was real.

"I-I'm so sorry. I just…um…thought I left something in here…but…I don't think I did after all…Sorry. Excuse me."

"Inoue! Wait!"

But she'd already whirled around, running out of the room.

"Baka," Rukia hissed. "You go fix that this second or so help me –"

Ichigo was already leaping over the desk rows and was soon out the door.

Ishida rubbed at his chin thoughtfully. "Well…this may be for the best."

"How do you figure that?"

"Well…it forces him into a position of either telling the woman he loves that he doesn't love her, or telling her the truth. Hopefully he won't bungle it up."

"Hopefully…" Rukia mused.

Meanwhile Orihime was racing through the halls, desperately fighting back the tears. She would not cry about this. She refused to cry about something she already knew. Just because she heard it from his own lips didn't make any difference…

An involuntary groan escaped her throat. Oh, but it did. It made all the difference in the world. She needed to get out of here. Out of this school. Out of Karakura. Out of Japan. Stuck in this tiny little world wasn't good for her, she needed to get a broader perspective.

She fumbled with her shoe locker and plopped onto the bench behind her, distracting herself with college plans. She would go to New York, a whole new world, a whole new culture –

"Inoue!"

Her eyes screwed shut at the distant shout and she stopped another groan from escaping. Of course he would go after her. He wasn't heartless. He was kind and he'd be concerned and try to apologize…

Oh _God_, she didn't want to hear him apologize. _Any_thing but that. She heard the door swing open and she braced herself for what was to come as he ran around the locker row.

"Inoue!"

She tried to look up, but couldn't. "Hai, Kurosaki-kun?"

The air was so thick when he didn't answer that she could have sliced it with a knife and spread it on a sweet potato. And that is exactly what she would do when she got home. Lots of butter and sweet potatoes and lots of Ben & Jerry's. She'd drown herself in Rocky Road. No, no. Not chocolate. Chocolate was his favorite. Orange sherbet…No! _Crap_. Maybe she'd just get extra sweet potatoes and watch countless reruns of Laugh Hour.

"Inoue…what…what all did you hear?"

She forced a laugh as she shoved her foot into her shoe. "Oh. Nothing. Nothing really. Nothing important."

"…Nothing important?"

"Nope." She prayed he didn't hear her choke.

"I see…"

Suddenly she stood up and slung her bag over her shoulder. "Well, I better be off. See you tomorrow!"

"Yeah…"

He watched her walk away, his heart sinking into his stomach. _Nothing important_. Well, if he didn't know it before, he definitely knew it now. He sighed and started to turn around when something under the bench caught his eye. A light green notebook covered in robot doodles. "Oi! Wait!" He jogged over and swiped it from the floor and ran to her side just as she was about to go out the door. "You left…this…"

His grew wide at the sight of her startled, tear-filled eyes that were just beginning to spill out onto her cheeks. "What?" She blinked rapidly and looked down at the notebook in his hands. "Oh." She swiped it in a flash. "Thank you, Kurosaki-kun." She quickly turned and nearly pushed open the door when his hand gripped her wrist.

"Wait."

"I'm sorry, I can't…I have to…to…"

"You don't look like it's not important."

"Well, it isn't. A-Allergies."

"You're stuttering. And you're lying."

"No I'm not!" She twisted to face him, desperate for him to believe a lie.

"And so am I," he stated, intensely staring at her while his guts went into turmoil.

Orihime frowned up at him. "What? What are you talking about?"

"What you heard…in the classroom…I didn't…I didn't mean that, I-"

"Don't," she choked out. "Please…don't do that. Don't be nice. Don't lie. Don't apologize. Let's just drop it and forget it ever happened, okay?"

Suddenly he gripped her thin shoulders in his hands. "No! I have something to say to you and I tried once, but I'm gonna do it right this time. So listen and listen good. I…I…" He raked a shaking hand through his hair. "The thing is…_How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child!_"

She blinked at him. "Eh?"

"No! Christ, no, that's not what I meant…uh…_Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble._"

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "Kurosaki-kun…do you need to go to the nurse?"

"No! I…" _Shit_, why were none of the right lines coming to him?! Stupid Rukia and her ideas. His brain was a muddled and all he could think of was random shit. "_My love's more richer than my tongue_." _Crap_. "I'm sorry. I can't…wait! Wait, that actually fits!" He involuntarily shook the shoulders he was holding. "My love is richer than my tongue!"

She watched his almost comical enthusiasm with wide eyes, nothing quite sinking in. "Your…love is richer…"

"Than my tongue, yes!"

"Your love…" she repeated.

"Yeah…I…shit, I didn't make it clear last time and I'm still messing everything up. I-"

"Last time?" she interrupted curiously.

"Yeah…last time I…I tried to confess…"

She suddenly choked on her own spit. "Confess?!"

"Uh, yeah. You all right?"

Orihime nodded, swallowing. "What exactly do you mean by confess?"

"Uh…well…the usual…confession type…thing…"

"You mean like…a priest or something?"

He choked out a laugh."No, not like a damned priest. The things I want to do with you are _far_ from priestly!" No…no, no, no. He hadn't just said that. Oh _hell_ no. Her cheeks were flaming. Probably his too since he'd just revealed that he was a pervert. "Dammit!" This wasn't going well at _all_. "Shit…Orhime, here's the thing." He gripped her shoulders even tighter, willing himself to look straight into her eyes. "I love you, okay?"

After counting fifteen eye blinks he started to get really nervous. Finally she spoke.

"But you just said-"

"Yeah, I know what I said, but it was a boldfaced lie because those loons found out that I love you" – it was very easy to repeat once a person got the hang of it – "and then they started hounding on me to try to confess to you again after yesterday."

"Yesterday? When you said you liked me…You…You were _confessing_?!"

"Yeah…"

"Oh."

"Right…so anyway, I understand if you don't feel the same way, I just…didn't want you to think what I said in there was true." He finally dropped his hands and stared at the floor. "So I…I guess I'll see you to-"

His moving mouth was stilled by warm, soft lips and his eyes grew wide, unable to comprehend that she was actually kissing him. She pulled back almost immediately, her face even redder than before, her turn to study the floor.

"So…" he licked at his lips. "So I guess this means the feelings are somewhat mutual?"

She laughed lightly and lifted sparkling eyes to his face. "More than somewhat. _Exactly_, actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah…really."

"I see…so, uh…" he pointed to his smirking mouth. "You mind doing that again? I didn't quite catch your full meaning."

She blushingly but happily obliged.

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	19. Morning!

_Morning!_

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Orihime ran to the door as the knocking got more and more insistent and she quickly flipped the lock and swung the door open.

"Good morning, Orihime," Tatsuki greeted, walking in to her friend's apartment. And then frowned. "Why are you blushing?"

Orihime looked taken aback for a moment. "B-Blushing? I'm not blushing!"

"Uh, yeah, you definitely are. And it's getting worse." Slowly an evil smirk spread across her face. "Were you having a dirty dream about you-know-who?"

"T-T-Tatsuki!"

She chuckled at her best friend and strolled into the kitchen, rummaging in the fridge for some orange juice. She turned back and eyed Orihime. "You better hurry or we'll be late to school."

Orihime fiddled with her robe tie. "Ano…I'm not going to school today…"

Tatsuki lowered the juice with a frown. "You sick?" Maybe that accounted for her flushed face. Without waiting for a response she washed her glass as she spoke. "Well I'll go on ahead then and bring some soup by later. You got meds?"

Orihime started waving her hands in front her. "Oh no, I've got plenty of soup and medicine. Don't worry about me."

"I always worry about you…" Tatsuki looked her over again, worried about the flush and nervous jitters. "Well okay, but you call if you need anything and I mean _any_thing."

Orihime smiled gratefully and nodded. She walked her friend to the door and after a few more worried comments and admonishments, she finally shut the door with a soft click.

Orihime sighed in relief and softly called out, "Okay, it's safe. She's gone."

An orange, spiky head poked out around the corner from her bedroom and brown eyes glanced nervously around the apartment before finally glowing warm as they settled on Orihime. Ichigo stepped out and came towards her with a lop-sided grin on his face and a purple towel wrapped around his waist, slung low on his hips. "Finally. She sure is a chatterbox."

Orihime smiled brightly as his arms wrapped around her waist, engulfing her in his warmth. She placed her hands on his sculpted chest and stood on her tiptoes to lightly kiss him. "I can't believe you talked me into skipping school."

He grinned and rubbed his nose against hers. "I'm just irresistible like that."

She giggled and moved her arms up around his neck, letting herself get lost in his heated kiss. His hands fisted the fabric of her robe, bunching it up until his hand touched the soft skin of her thigh. Orihime moaned softly and moved her hands back down his chest, gently scraping her nails down his tight abs. He made a strangled noise and moved his lips urgently down her jaw, sucking on her neck.

"Ichigo." His name said breathlessly on her lips had him growling and moving a hand to the front, traveling up to fill it with her waiting breast.

Suddenly there was a blast of cold air and a slam as the door swung open, causing them to jump nearly a foot in the air, still holding each other. "Hey Orihime, I just wanted to ask if – Oh. My. God."

For an eternity Tatsuki stared and gaped at the wide-eyed, flushed couple. Her childhood friend, in nothing but a towel, protectively holding her best friend who was only in a disheveled robe. Blushing. Breathless. Not going to school yet clearly not sick.

"Oh. My. God." Tatsuki was having major comprehension problems. She stuck her finger at them. "You. You two. You…you…" She shook her head.

"Ano…Tatsuki…could you close the door? It's kind of cold…"

Tatsuki blinked at her innocent friend – wait…not so innocent anymore… In a daze she reached behind her and shut the door. "How…how long?" She watched in amazement as they looked at each other as if…as if they were an established couple! How had she missed this?!

Ichigo answered. "Six months."

"Six _months_?!" she spat out.

He cleared his throat nervously and nodded. "Today's our anniversary."

How quaint. "How…why…you…"

Orihime glanced up at Ichigo and then back to her best friend. "I'm really sorry, Tatsuki…it…it just kind of happened and then we thought it would be best to not tell anyone for a while…you know…just have some time to ourselves…after the war and everything. And then…well, nobody found out and we just haven't…gotten around to telling anyone…till now."

"Till now…" Tatsuki echoed.

Orihime nodded, her eyes wide and circling her boyfriend's waist in her own protective manner as she waited for Tatsuki to blow a fuse.

After nearly a minute passed, Ichigo tentatively spoke up. "Tatsuki…are you-"

She held up a finger and shook her head. "I…I have to let this sink in… I'm…gonna just go now…I think…" She turned around and opened the door, turning back to look at them before heading out. "And, uh…congratulations or whatever."

"Thanks."

"Thank you, Tatsuki."

"Yeah…okay…okay…" The door finally shut with a click and they looked at each other with shell-shocked faces.

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"Well," Ichigo began. "At least the cat's out of the bag now. No more sneaking around."

Orihime looked down at his chest, running a finger over his scar with a small pout on her mouth. "I'll kind of miss the sneaking around…"

"Why Inoue Orihime! You scandalous girl you!"

She laughed and blushed harder.

"But," he grinned down at her. "We'll still have to sneak around school a little bit…"

"Eh?"

"You wouldn't want to abandon our activities in the supply closet or the empty classroom or-"

She giggled and buried her face into his chest. Suddenly a knock came at the door. She frowned and called out, "Come in."

Tatsuki poked her head around the door and looked back and forth between Ichigo and Orihime. "Okay…just wanted to make sure this actually happened. Leaving now." The door shut again and Ichigo shook his head and released his girlfriend to stalk towards the door, quickly flipping the lock and chain into place.

"Think the whole school will know about us by the end of the day?"

"Hm, I don't think so," Orihime pondered. "Tatsuki's not a blabber mouth."

"True. Plus it'll probably take her a few days to let it fully sink in." He walked back into her arms and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Anyhow, let's get back to your medicinal treatments…"

Another knock at the door interrupted their kiss and Ichigo scowled at the door, but before Orihime could call out he tightened his arms around her and smothered her with his mouth. She squealed and tried to push away from him, but he shook his head against her lips, his arms iron bands around her.

More knocking and he lifted her up and began running towards her bedroom, Orihime now giggling against his lips. He shut the door behind them with his foot and fell onto the bed, finally releasing her lips. "All she's gonna do is gawk at us when we could be something else instead."

Orihime laughed and wriggled underneath him. "Oh? Like what?"

"Like this…" He nearly ripped open her robe and bit down on her breast causing her to nearly scream in surprise and delight.

Outside, Tatsuki paled at the sound of her friend's squealing laughter.

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Eh heh...really simple little thing I tossed out. I really have no time for writing right now...but I really wanted to put Ichigo in a purple towel X3

Sorry for the ooc-ness for only having been going out for six months *sweatdrop* Lazy writer is feeling really lazy today XD Or maybe they're not ooc...I don't know. It's late. I'm tired. I'm ready for turkey and stuffing...


	20. Better Run, Girl

Here you go, copper xD.

Have several unfinished drabbles/oneshots sitting in my Word that I really need to just finish already, so here's one down...a bajillion to go -_-

Inspired by the Glee episode with Mr. Shue and him singing "Don't Stand So Close to Me" (where the title comes from) *swoon*

Might be AU, might not *shrugs* I leave it to you.

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_Better Run, Girl_

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"Okay, get out your syllabi." Ichigo Kurosaki's eyebrows lifted above his eyeglasses when the minimal sound of papers rustling didn't match the large class of one hundred students. He sighed and took off his glasses, placing them on the podium and straightening his papers. "For those who _do_ have it, turn to page five and you'll find the schedule for the semester. I assume everyone will have had _some_ exposure to Shakespeare in high school, so we're gonna jump right into Hamlet. Your first analysis paper will be due –"

Suddenly the door at the back of the large room slammed open and a young woman with long auburn hair breezed in, books and notebooks balancing precariously in her slender arms. "Sorry!" She smiled nervously at Ichigo before searching the room for an empty seat, smiling brightly when she saw an empty seat on the front row, directly in front of the young professor. She made her way down the steps and then struggled to get past the students already seated. "Excuse me, sorry!"

There was almost a collective sigh of relief when she finally fell into her seat, her books falling out of her arms with a series of bangs. She glanced up and then started when her eyes met the glower from the professor. "S-Sorry, I–"

"Are you finished?" he interrupted.

She nodded sheepishly.

"As I was saying, your first analysis paper on Hamlet will be due at the end of this month. The rubric is on the last page of your syllabus. You follow it, you get a good grade. You don't, I fail you. Have act one, scenes one and two read by next class and be prepared to discuss. Any questions?" He waited a moment and when no hands were raised he shut his folder and picked up his briefcase, placing it on the podium to stuff his things inside. "Okay class dismissed for today. We'll get into things next time."

Immediately the classroom started buzzing with chatter and rustling about as they packed their things. Ichigo sighed as he saw a few students making their way towards him. _Here comes the ass-kissing. _As he shook hands and accepted empty praise, he noticed the young woman struggling to balance her things again.

His eyebrows rose as she made her way to the back of the line. She was the last to student to speak to him. "I just wanted to –"

"Wait. Come to my office. I need to speak with you about your conduct today."

Orihime's eyes widened as a blush of shame appeared over her cheeks. "O-Okay."

He motioned for her to follow him as he slipped his glasses back on and grabbed his briefcase. Ichigo led her out the faculty door and down the hallway of offices, greeting fellow professors as they went. They soon stopped before a wooden door with his name on a black and gold plaque, his keys jangling as he took them out and unlocked his office. He opened the door for her and then shut and locked it when she was inside.

"Um, I –"

Ichigo turned around to stalk towards her with a scowl on his stern face causing her to back up nervously until her butt hit the edge of his desk. "You were late and disrupted my class."

"Well, I –"

"I hope this kind of behavior won't be continuing throughout the semester, Miss Inoue."

Suddenly she frowned at him. "Professor Kurosaki, _you_ are the reason I was late and you know it. I never did find my…my…"

He smirked as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a lavender pair of lacy panties with his forefinger. "Panties?" he finished. She gasped as her face flushed and reached out to snatch them away but he raised his arm out of her reach, leaning in closer. "So, does this mean you're not wearing anything under" – he fingered the knee-length brown skirt – "this?"

Her skin was beginning to match her hair as she looked away to study his bookshelves. "I-I…no…I had extras." She softly squealed when his hands clamped around her waist and sat her on top of his desk.

"I don't believe you," he said, his voice deeper as his hands smoothed down her skirt and then devilish fingers snuck underneath the hem and made their way back up her thighs. "You don't mind if I find out for myself do you?"

"P-Professor! We can't…not…not in here!"

"Sure we can," he murmured against her throat. "_My_ office. My _locked_ office. I can do whatever the hell I want."

"No, we – Oh!"

"_Liar_," he growled when he found out she did _not_ have on any spare underwear. And her body was _definitely_ not opposed to a prolonged teacher-student meeting.

She put her hands on his shoulders to push him away, but ended up digging her fingers into his muscles through his shirt, her soft moan loud in the small room. She gasped and clapped her hand over her mouth.

He chuckled. "Shh, these walls are thin."

"A-All the more reason not to…not to…"

He kissed her with feather-light touch. "Not to what?"

"Do anything…we shouldn't…" She lifted her head to press further, but he pulled back teasingly. Orihime blinked in remembrance that they shouldn't do this and started to scoot off the desk, but that made his touch go deeper _there_ and she gripped the edge, her head falling back. "Professor…" she breathed.

Ichigo scraped his teeth against her throat, and then pressed his lips to her ear. "You make me feel like a dirty old perv when you call me that."

He moved his fingers and she swallowed hard against the loud groan that rose up in her throat. "That's because you…_are_ a dirty old…perv…"

Suddenly he grasped her full breast and gripped hard as his fingers dove in and out of her making her breaths come out in short gasps. "So what does that make you?"

Her hands lifted to grip his biceps through the thin, white shirt. "A…a victim."

He grinned against her neck and then suddenly dropped his hands away from her and turned away. "Well, didn't know I was _victimizing_ you. Sorry 'bout that. I'll just see you next class period then?" When she didn't answer he twisted his neck to look over his shoulder and saw that she still sat on his desk with her thighs pressed tightly together and her breath coming out in short bursts, her face flushed, her eyes wide but lusty. He grinned wolfishly, deciding anymore teasing was pointless and silly, and nearly pounced on her, muffling her resulting crying moans with his mouth.

A good, strong beginning to the semester, in his opinion.

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Eh...borderline M? xD


	21. Hard Swords and Cream

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

*crickets*

Eh...heh...I'm a bit late, I see. This is the amazing **codegal**'s Secret Santa gift for the FLOL gift exchange that is tragically late, obviously. I was so super excited when I got her and her hilarious prompts (hard, sword, and cream xDDD), but the fates were against me!! *shakes fist at the powers that be* So, ready for my sob story, code? Here ya go. I was SO proud of myself because I actually finished this far ahead of the deadline. But then my computer flipped out on me. Just...poof! Gone were all my fanfics. Besides this, I had almost a dozen unfinished drabbles, 3 other Christmas fic gifts, my almost finished chapter for my chapter fic, all gone. Thankfully most of my finished stuff and the novel I'm sort of off and on working on (mostly just to see if I can actually write and finish one xD), are all saved to various flash drives and floppy disks. Of course I didn't have the presence of mind to save my most recent stuff when the gods got bored and decided to throw a few lightning bolts my direction.

Okay, fine. I can deal with that. I can rewrite stuff. No biggy. It's Christmastime, and you pretty much have to run over me with an 18-wheeler to get me out of the Christmas spirit once I'm entrenched in it. We're going into no man's land for the holidays (aka "Internet? That some kinda new-fangled fishin' methodologies, sonny?"), but we're coming back to home and internet on New Year's Day, so I'll have time to rewrite this and get it posted just before the deadline. But fate isn't done with me. We get iced in. But that's not enough. So it snows too. Joy. I mean, love snow. I'm CRAZY about snow and it looks beautiful outside! But not when it's keeping me from giving Christmas presents!! Rawr, rawr *throws things*

Oh yeah, I'm still here in no man's land. But my cousin was fiddling with my computer a few minutes ago, playing solitaire or something, and discovered the condo has wireless. Yup. I've had internet the whole freaking time. My wireless was disabled. My cousin is twelve years old and got me internet with two clicks of the mouse. I feel like a moron xD

ANYway, I'm SO sorry codey!! And what's worse is this is just isn't near as good as my original. I just don't do well with rewrites AT. ALL. I know there's a whole bunch of poo I forgot and it....okay, well I stop whining. I hope you and everyone else enjoys it anyway!! And I'll try to get around to rewriting my other gifts eventually DX

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_Hard Swords and Cream at Christmas Time_

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Ichigo was getting fed up with his masochistic ways. He really needed to stop taking this route home from school and torturing himself. He paused in front of the white-washed brick building and sighed as he looked through the window.

She was so beautiful. So bright. His fingers ached and twitched with longing to run their tips along her smooth body. If just given the chance he could play her till she screamed sweet, sweet music. She was so close to him; just an inch or so of glass separated them, displayed temptingly in the pawn shop's window. And yet there seemed to be a great, yawning canyon separating him from his love.

He couldn't believe nobody had gotten her since his futile infatuation had begun. Brown eyes narrowed and glared through the thick glass at the mocking yellow price tag bound round her slender dark brown neck. There she was in beautiful, glossy colors of the sunset, a Gibson SG Standard. Ichigo's dreamgirl of electric guitars.

Hunching down into his coat collar and shoving his hands into his pockets, he forced his feet to move and turn him away from his tragic love and kicked at a small pile of snow. Not only did he not have the money for it, he didn't have the _time_ for it, what with being the town's only worthwhile shinigami – heaven forbid Soul Society be competent and efficient for once by actually providing a decent rep so he could do something like, oh, say, _life_ or something – and then there was the whole needing to eventually graduate thing. There was no way he could find time to play the thing.

He took a deep breath, watching the small cloud form and dissipate as his warm breath hit the freezing air. Dissipating like his dreams… Ichigo rolled his eyes at himself and growled, again forcing himself to take steps away from the pawn shop when a gentle voice calling out to him stopped him.

Speaking of things he didn't have time for. Or courage either, if one was to be honest with oneself. But why be honest when one could just as easily live in comfortable denial?

"Kuro – uh, Ichigo-kun!"

Pushing his crazy thoughts out of his idiotic head, he turned and smirked at her mistake. After the war he'd insisted on her calling him by his given name. It had seemed silly to be formal after all they'd been through together, although she wouldn't budge on tacking on the honorific. But then that meant he'd have to return the gesture. Which was surprisingly difficult because saying her name turned him into some kind of blushing, nervous, hormonal teenager. "Hey, Orihime…" Yup, there it was. The blush creeping up his neck. The nervous shifting. The involuntary glance to the soft curves below her white scarf and the collar of her light green pea coat. Super.

She stood before him, looking up at him with those big grey eyes, her lush caramel hair flowing over her shoulders, her cheeks pink from the cold…cheeks that seemed to be getting redder. He eyed her coat critically, assessing its aptitude to do its job of keeping her warm. Just when he was about to say something, her eyes widened at something behind him and she rushed over to press her white gloved hands against the glass window of the pawn shop. "Wow! So pretty!"

Ichigo huffed. "She's not pretty, she's fu – er, freaking awesome."

She giggled and glanced back at him, her eyes sparkling. "She?"

He coughed awkwardly. "Er, it. _It_ is freaking awesome. Cause it's not a she. It's a piece of wood. Mhm."

"A really beautiful piece of wood." She turned fully to him with a little twirl, her hands clasped behind her back. "Is this what you want for Christmas, Ichigo-kun?"

The way her thick hair swung around with her, all of it now draped over one shoulder, was kind of mesmerizing… "Uh…um, yeah, but…well, I don't have time for it anyway."

She stepped towards him, her sympathetic eyes blinking up at him. "Ichigo-kun, you know I-"

"No," he said, cutting her off abruptly. "Absolutely not."

She sighed softly and nodded. After the war and when life had returned to something akin to normal, she had felt him fighting with hollows and had quickly run off to help him, immediately shattering one with Tsubaki and protecting Ichigo with her shield from a cheap shot that almost sliced his back open. He'd been grateful, sheepish, and way too protective of her, insisting that she never do that again. He can handle it he'd said – to which she'd held back a rare sarcastic comment along the lines of _oh really, so that wasn't you that was about to be cut up into tiny pieces and made into shinigami Chex Mix for four hollows. Must be mixing you up with the other orange-headed, teenage grim reaper I'm in love with._ Well, without that last bit, of course.

She doesn't need to be putting her life at risk like that, he'd said. She was a valued healer, he'd said.

One of these days she'd convince him to let her help him out on the battlefield with more than just healing his wounds. For now, she needed to find other ways to smooth out the stress bunching up his face and lighten the dark circles under his eyes.

She glanced back at the guitar. And the wheels in her head started turning…

"Well," he started, interrupting her thoughts. "It's freezing out here, come on, I'll walk you home."

"Oh, no, thank you, but you don't need to do that. Actually, I have quite a bit of Christmas shopping to do before I go home."

"Lemme help you then."

She smiled and wagged her finger at him. "Oh no, you can't go along with me Christmas shopping. You might see something you're not supposed to!"

"Hey, whoa, you shouldn't get me anything for Christmas."

"It's not a matter of whether or not I _should_, it's a matter of I _want_ to."

Orihime grinned as he grumbled and shifted. "Fine, whatever." He looked down at her with doubt in his eyes. "You sure you'll be okay shopping by yourself?"

She put on her best tough-girl face and held up her hands kung-fu style. "Don't worry about me, Ichigo-kun. Black belt, remember?"

The corner of his mouth lifted into half of a smile, shaking his head slightly. "You're pretty amazing, you know that?"

Orihime felt her smile falter and more of that pesky red color inflamed her face. "I…um…" Now she was the one shifting in her light green boots. "No, I'm not really… I…well…I better get going so I can finish before the stores close." Finally she managed to look back up at him, his face a deep red. She frowned in concern. He must be facing the chilling wind. "You should get home before you freeze out here."

"Uh…" Ichigo scratched the back of his head, flustered by what had come out of his own mouth and a little unsure of what to do when suddenly she grabbed his arms, easily spun his taller body around and gave him a hard push.

"Go on. I'll be fine and I'll see you tomorrow!"

He turned and blinked after her as she spun on her heel and skipped away from him. Ichigo shook his head and headed off towards home after two final looks at girl and guitar.

Two days later Ichigo noticed Orihime was particularly gleeful…and Tatsuki kept flashing grins at him…Chad was tossing him random thumbs up…Ishida…well, Ishida was his usual stuck up self. Ichigo scowled at their strange behavior, but then shrugged it off as a case of Christmas Spirit. Something he was feeling very low on at the moment. Last night he'd taken his usual torturous route past his Gibson guitar only to find it was missing from the window. His heart sunk to his shoes and without thinking he had rushed in and searched the small shop, but she was no where in sight. He asked the bored, gum-smacking clerk, and the girl said she'd sold it last night.

Like a five-year-old, he'd moped and pouted all evening, mourning that he couldn't even live in his fantasy world of someday getting it. The _maybe_ had crashed and burned into a _never, sucker_.

"Nice doodle."

Ichigo jumped at the deep, mocking voice and his pencil scraped a dark line across his forlorn drawing of the instrument he'd loved and lost.

"Aw," a softly strong female voice from behind him said regretfully. "Grimmy, you scared him out of his wits and made him ruin his cute drawing."

Grimmjow shrugged his broad shoulders at Neliel. "Not my fault he's a scaredy pussy."

Ichigo scowled darkly and growled under his breath, glancing around to make sure nobody was looking his way and would think he was talking to himself. "Okay, a) nobody scared me. I was _startled_. And b) what the _fuck_ are you two doing here?"

"Orihime-chan invited us," Neliel answered brightly.

The shinigami blinked. "Orihime…chan?"

"Gomen, Ichigo-kun!" the girl in question suddenly poked her head into the group. "I completely forgot to mention that I invited them to spend Christmas with me."

"Hai!" Neliel's eyes sparkled. "Orihime-chan told me all about it and I just had to experience this…um…" She bit her bottom lip in thought.

"Holiday," Grimmjow growlingly supplied.

"That's it! Holiday!"

Ichigo wiped off his smirk the second it appeared when he glanced in Grimmjow's direction to avoid a battle scene. There he was, the king of Hueco Mundo, his hip leaning against the school desk of an oblivious student, clearly wrapped tightly around the little finger of the green-haired female arrancar now animatedly chatting with Orihime. Soul Society had made a tentative treaty with Hueco Mundo and its new king and queen, the two espada hanging out in his classroom this very moment, and Orihime and Neliel had become fast friends. He and Grimmjow had…come to some sort of peace treaty of their own.

He watched Mizuiro walk right through Grimmjow's outstretched legs, glance curiously at Orihime who appeared to be chatting with Ichigo…and yet looking up into empty air, shrug and finally continue, tapping away at his cell.

Neliel suddenly trotted over to her grumpy king and slipped her hand through one of his arms that were crossed over his chest. "And you're going to get me a really, _really_ nice present, right Grimmy?"

Grimmjow rolled his blue eyes. "No freaking way. You dragged me to this fucking world, but you can't make me celebrate their ooey gooey holiday." He felt her eyes on him and looked down at her…and swallowed hard. She was completely and utterly calm, gazing at him with an almost bored expression.

"Oh?" was all she said, slowly blinking and tilting her head slightly to the side.

His mouth went cotton ball dry. The espada king could almost tangibly feel the air growing thickly ominous. He knew if he didn't tread carefully, he could easily step onto a landmine. "What I meant was, there's no way I'm going to get you a really, really nice present. I'm going to get you a fucking awesome present and show these humans how to do it right." Grimmjow flexed his shoulders to keep them from sagging in relief when the air suddenly lifted and her face broke out into a smile. To his horror, she lifted up on tip-toe and kissed his cheek.

"I can't wait."

She can't wait. Oh fuck. What the hell was he going to get that's "fucking awesome"? He slowly grinned. He could think of a few things that would be fucking awesome for the both of them. Grimmjow glanced warily at the woman on his arm. But she might not appreciate that… He felt someone staring at him and shot his eyes over to catch Ichigo smirking. "You wanna die, punk?" Grimmjow smiled in satisfaction when Ichigo's expression dropped. "That's what I thought."

Just then Tatsuki strolled up, barely nodding to the two espada she'd already met yesterday at Orihime's, and draped her arm around Orihime's shoulders, leaning over to glare at Ichigo. "You better come to Orihime's Christmas party next week, asshole."

"Tatsuki!" Orihime protested. "He doesn't have to if he doesn't want to. His family might have traditions on Christmas Eve and-"

"No, I'm definitely coming," Ichigo interrupted. "Wouldn't miss it."

"Good." Tatsuki smirked evilly. "You better get me something that will blow my socks off."

Ichigo cocked an eyebrow. "Blow your socks off? Like using you as testing grounds for the latest weapon of mass destruction? My pleasure."

"Oh so you admit to being weak and needing a bomb to defeat me? Glad to see you're finally honest with yourself."

"Kurosaki honest with himself?" Ishida suddenly appeared. "Grimmjow-san, tell me, has hell frozen over?"

"Why the fuck are ya askin' me?"

He shrugged his thin shoulders. "No reason."

"In your seats!"

The students all cringed at the teacher's screeching. Grimmjow growled and clamped his hands over his ears.

Ichigo couldn't help it. "Kitty's ears sensitive?"

Grimmjow's eyes flashed dark blue and he would've lunged for the joker if not for his queen stopping him with her hands planted on his chest. "How about part of my Christmas present be that you _not_ destroy the human world?"

His nostrils flared as he glanced from his mate to his nemesis, back and forth several times before finally his bunched muscles began to loosen and his rage was toned down to a medium simmer. "Fine," he growled. "But you're on thin ice, Kurosaki. _Very_ thin." He held up two fingers with a just a smidgen of space between them to illustrate his point.

As Grimmjow and Neliel left out the window and the teacher droned on, Ichigo crinkled up the guitar doodle and tossed it into the trash can at the front when the teacher's back was turned. Whatever. Dream's gone. Such is life. He grasped his pencil and forced himself to focus on the mumbo jumbo being scribbled on the board.

No wait. He had to think of gifts for his friends. Ichigo made thoughtful circular designs on his notebook. There was Tatsuki. Besides a wrapped time bomb…ah! He would get her that samurai sword she'd been talking about the other day. Chad…hm…something cute…meh, he'd get Yuzu to help him find something fluffy and adorable for his best friend, the walking contradiction. And Ishida. Ichigo snarled. Eye glass cleaner should do. Okay, okay, he'd find out from Orihime what book he had a hankering for. A Playboy subscription for Keigo and a…hm…a chastity belt for Mizuiro? Well he'd figure out something. And in less than a minute they're all covered for the most part… except for one.

Ichigo glanced at the girl. What on earth could he possibly get Orihime? Maybe he could try lassoing the moon. Hm, not quite enough Maybe he could get Saturn's moons for her too. A few stars while he was at it.

His head fell to the desk with a loud bang. Yeah, so he liked her.

_Really_ liked her.

Like…a lot. As in how a guy likes a girl.

He might love her.

Okay so he did. Very much.

…All right, if you insist upon prying into his private affairs he was madly in love with her nearing the point of obsession and was helplessly clueless as to what to do about it or whether he even _should_ do anything about it. _Damn it all to hell and back!_

"Care to share with the rest of the class what exactly is being damned to hell and back, Kurosaki?"

Ichigo's head jerked up to stare at the seething teacher standing over him, book in hand, ready to thwack him over the head with it. Oops. Said that last part out loud apparently. He glanced around at all the eyes staring at him, mouths covered to stifle chuckles. Hopefully that was all he said out loud. "No thanks."

_Thwack_.

:

"Ichigo-kun, are you sure your head is all right? She hit you awfully hard." Hours later, Orihime was walking next to him on the way to the bookstore to help him pick out something for Ishida, glancing at him with concern as he rubbed his temples against the headache that crazy woman had caused.

"Yeah, I'm fi – well, I'll _be_ fine. Eventually."

He looked down when he felt her slim hand on his arm to see her pointing to their left. "Sit over on this park bench. I know exactly what to do. I used to do this for my brother when he would get stress headaches and it always fixed him up in a jiffy."

Curious, Ichigo allowed himself to be led to the bench and plopped down, watching her suspiciously as she bounced around to stand behind him. "What exactly did you do?"

He nearly jumped when he felt her fingers at the side of his head, turning it so he was facing forward. "This."

Oh. God. He entered seventh heaven as she started gently massaging his scalp, his eyes closing and his head falling back slightly. God, she was incredible at this. And this was _her_. _The_ girl was the one standing behind him, massaging his headache away and – Oh Great Jehoshaphat her fingers were on the back of his neck, swirling in small, firm circles against his skin. A thought fleeted across his mind that wondered where else she could use her masseuse expertise, but he quickly extinguished that thought. For some crazy reason he wasn't a fan of strolling about in public with the girl of his dreams at his side and a visibly stiff rod at his front.

Course, the girl of his dreams plus his stiff rod in a more private situation equaled – "Ow! Son of a-"

"Sorry!" cried the girl who had just about popped his head right off his shoulders. "I know it hurts at first, but you're headache should be gone now. I had to relax your muscles before popping your neck or it wouldn't work."

Amazingly enough, his headache was gone. "Holy shi – er, crap! It's gone." He turned around to look up at her in wonder. "Thanks… Have I mentioned you're amazing?"

Orihime flushed red and started stuttering and shifting all over the place. Ichigo had to admit, he really got way too much enjoyment out of making her do that. He was pretty evil for not saying something to rescue her from it. But it really was just too gosh darn adorable. Finally she managed to stutter out something about continuing on to the bookstore.

Before they came to their destination, they passed the store that held Tatsuki's dark blue samurai sword and Ichigo popped in quickly to purchase it on their way. They'd almost come to the book shop when Orihime spotted her espada guests strolling down the sidewalk.

"Grimmjow-kun! Neliel!" She bounced and waved at them, bringing them over. Ichigo huffed. He could just as well leave them to themselves.

"Well don't you two make a cute couple," Neliel beamed, and beamed even brighter when her words turned the teens faces redder than tomatoes.

"We – We're not a-" Ichigo started.

"Yes, I know. You're not a couple. Whatever. You still look cute together. What are two doing out here? Christmas shopping?" The non-couple nodded in sync. Neliel glanced at the wrapped sword in Ichigo's hand. "That your gift for her? A sword?"

"No, it's for Tatsuki."

Neliel grinned at his obvious discomfort and wanting to get the hell away from her and Grimmjow who was preoccupied with holding a snarling contest with the dogs in the pet shop window next to them. "Oh, Tatsuki. I see. But I don't see how much use Tatsuki would get with a sword from you," she remarked, tapping her chin thoughfully.

"What the hell do you mean by that?"

"Grimmjow." Neliel tugged on his white sleeve, and he grumpily turned to her. "Don't you think Orihime is the one that needs a sword from Ichigo?"

Grimmjow blinked at her. Glanced at Ichigo and Orihime. Back at her. And then shook his head. "Nah, it'd be too small for Orihime."

"That's not very nice."

"A woman needs a long, slick sword that can really do the job right."

"Hm, I think you're right. A sharp one that's always ready and won't go soft in the middle of things."

"Exactly. So I don't think Ichigo's up to the task."

"Of course Ichigo's up to the task!"

Grimmjow glowered darkly at her. "And why are you so sure of this? Experience?"

"No! Of course not! Woman's intuition." Grimmjow scoffed and Neliel turned to a very confused Ichigo. "Go on. Prove that you're up to the task."

"Huh?"

"Whip out your penis, of course!"

Of course. Just whip out his penis. No big deal. "Are you _insane_?"

"No. We just need to determine once and for all if you really should be the one to give a sword to Orihime for Christmas."

Orihime stood stiffly next to Ichigo with her face inflamed, unable to utter a sound. Ichigo gripped his sword – the samurai one – with one hand and took her hand with the other. "Yeah, I think we're just gonna go."

"Toothpick."

Ichigo glared at the smirking king, but decided against retaliating while Orihime was with him. "Come on, let's leave these loons."

Thankfully, she obediently followed him, still a little shell shocked. Ichigo growled inwardly. What were they thinking? Talking about things like that in front of an innocent girl like Orihime. He glanced over at her. An innocent girl who has staring at his…Oh God. She was staring at his crotch. Look away from her, Ichigo! Look away!

But he couldn't. Not when she was staring with her bottom lip cutely caught between her teeth, her face flushed, her eyes wide. Suddenly she blinked and her head snapped up to stare in front of her, her face turning red again. There sure was a lot of blushing going around lately.

With a jolt he realized they hadn't said anything since the very awkward moment with those crazy hollow people. He cleared his throat loudly. And again, for good measure. "Um." Good start. "So." Clearly, he was giving JFK a run for his great orating money. "Have any idea what books Ishida's interested in?" Hopefully someone was recording this for the history books.

She brightened considerably at the change in subject. "He mentioned something today about wanting to read Dan Brown's latest book, _The Lost Symbol_."

"Thrilling," Ichigo replied, his deadpan voice starkly contrasting the word.

"But I thought we'd look around a bit and see if anything else looks interesting."

"Good idea."

At that they came to the small store made up to look like a book shop from old London town with thick dark wood and soft lighting using fixtures that resembled old gaslights. Ichigo held the door for her and nodded to the aging clerk who greeted them. They made their way over to the bestseller section, noticing the Dan Brown book and passing it by to browse the others. Ichigo pointed to the row of black books by Stephanie Meyer and then laughed when Orihime wrinkled her nose and wildly shook her head.

"What about this new Stephen King book?"

Orihime pursed her lips in thought for a moment before she spoke. "Hm, I don't think he likes scary stuff."

"Tch. Wuss."

"Ichigo-kun!" she scolded.

"Just callin' it like it is. Don't you remember when you, Chad, and I didn't get to see _Saw VI_ because a certain Quincy was too much of a chicken?" Orihime glanced away and fiddled with Sarah Palin's book. "That's what I thought. I _still_ haven't seen that movie," he grumbled. "Have you?" Orihime shook her head disappointedly. "We should rent it and watch it when it comes out."

He'd said it casually, but then her eyes widened just slightly and images of her cuddled up with him on the couch, just the two of them, flooded his brain and sent his heart racing. To his amazement she nodded. "That…that sounds great."

Just two friends getting together to see a movie they'd missed. Nothing romantic about it all. It was Saw for Christ's sake, not Sleepy in Sydney or whatever. But he found himself frantically trying to remember the DVD's release date. January sometime…it couldn't come fast enough. He searched the shelves for something else to dwell on. "Oh, here we go. A Nicholas Sparks novel for his pea-pickin' heart." He grinned sheepishly at the quelling look she gave him and set the book back on the shelf.

After going down a few more aisles, Ichigo was discovering something. Orihime was one smart chick. Well, he'd always known she was smart, but she's _really_ smart. In that booky, schoolwork kind of way, that is. He'd lost count of how many books she'd had a comment for, and that was just the one's she liked! And it wasn't like it was the Nora Roberts shit, it was the Tolstoy and Dickens shit. She was practically a living, breathing Cliff Notes. Ichigo himself liked good literature now and then, mostly before this shinigami stuff robbed him of what little free time he'd had back then, not that he'd ever let that get out, but she…she would actually be someone who wouldn't laugh at him for it. All the others would never let him live it down. Orihime on the other hand…maybe…maybe she was someone he could share that with…

"What about some of these?"

He looked to where she was pointing. "Naruto?! Tch." He didn't know quite why he had such animosity for the manga series, but he just did. Almost as if he had some kind of competition with the spiky-haired ninja. A case full of mostly red and pink books caught his eye and he smirked and started strolling in its direction, calling over his shoulder. "Here's some great girly books. They shouldn't be too scary for him, right?"

"A-Ano, Ichigo-kun you-"

"Here's one." Without looking at the title on the spine, Ichigo quickly slid out the pinkest and most sparkly book and flipped it over to read the front. He paled and then blushed so hard he nearly broke a sweat. The title read, _The Cosmo Kama Sutra: 77 Mind-Blowing Sex Positions_. The worst thing? He was tempted to crack it open right then and there to find out how to blow the girl's mind that stood not four feet away from him.

He flipped the tempting yet offensive book to the back cover and fumbled around trying to quickly slip back into its slot. But he missed. And somehow he'd jiggled a book loose and it fell to the ground – along with about fifteen other sex books. He cursed under his breath and knelt to pick them up.

"Oh! I'll help you!"

No, no, no. Not good, not good! But she was already there, picking up a book entitled, _Tickle His Pickle: Your Hands on Guide to Penis Pleasing_ with, of course, a picture of a woman gleefully holding a pickle. And Orihime couldn't stop staring at. To distract himself from thinking about her getting ideas, Ichigo grabbed the first book next to him. A nude woman barely covered by the book's title, _The Lowdown on Going Down_. He shoved it into the shelf with a bang. Mentally noting to check it out later.

It seemed to take forever to put back those few but highly embarrassing books. Sex positions – 365?! He only knew of 3! Missionary, doggy, and her on top…great mental images, but they really weren't helping him out with avoiding a stiff-rod situation – , how to make love like a porn star, erotic massages – which Orihime had down pat, no doubt – and sex games galore. Finally, they finished, faces red, and they both stood. Well, he stood while Orihime stumbled and would have fallen if he hadn't caught her by her arms.

Ichigo pulled her closer to steady her on her feet. "You okay?"

She lifted her chin to look up at him and nodded. And then he took a mental nose-dive into those big eyes, losing himself in her. _Damn_, she was cute. His thoughts went downhill and into the Sex and Relationships section's gutter from there. Before he knew what was happening he'd pulled her even closer until he could feel her breasts pressed to his chest, her hands softly resting on his coat. If he just tilted his head and lowered it just a bit, he could kiss her. It'd be so easy. So…simple…

He jumped nearly a foot at the sound of a cough. It was the old clerk. "We're 'bout to close. If you're gonna buy anything, you better do it."

Ichigo dropped his hold on Orihime like her arms were hot irons. "Y-Yeah, sorry. Okay." He turned to the girl, nervously scratching the back of his head. "You just wanna get him a gift card or something?"

Orihime nodded. "Yeah, okay."

A silence filled with awkwardness engulfed the two teens until they left the shop, blasts of cold air chilling their faces and cooling their hormones…somewhat.

Orihime's mind raced with what had just happened in the sex section of the book shop. She'd panicked when Ichigo had innocently strolled over to the deceptive, innocently colorful case, and then what happened was embarrassing beyond belief. Looking at all those books with him…and her wandering mind was just not helping things one bit. It had been enough with Neliel and Grimmjow's suggestive comments that made her lewdly stare at Ichigo's…his…um…well, _sword_. Not that she could really see anything under his baggy jeans. And she certainly wasn't disappointed that she wasn't able to see anything! D-Definitely not.

"Seven o'clock, right?"

She started at the sudden question. "Huh?"

"Christmas Eve. Your place. Seven o'clock?"

"Oh! Oh yeah, right. Seven o'clock." Here she was thinking dirty thoughts and there he was thinking of Christmas and sugar plums. Sora would be ashamed of her. "U-Unless you want to come earlier or later or whenever. It doesn't matter. Seven o'clock is ju-" She stopped short at the hand he held up.

"I'll be there."

Orihime nodded and bit her lip against the thick silence that engulfed them again as their boots crunched in the snow. Not soon enough, they walked out of the shopping district and Orihime paused to bid him goodbye when her turn came up, but he kept walking in her direction. She jogged to catch up to him. "Wait! Ichigo-kun, you don't need to walk me home! It's so cold and-"

"You helped me out. Walking you home is the least I can do."

She noticed the stubborn set of his jaw and stifled a sigh as she fell into step beside him. "Thank you."

He nodded. Really, if he wanted to do her a favor, and she never thought she'd say this, then he could leave her to be alone. The awkward silence was killing her. They'd been having so much fun! But now… He was so stiff. Nothing had even happened back there! Not really. It could have been nothing at all! It had felt as if he were about to kiss her, but that could just be wishful thinking. He might have been extra concerned for her well-being when she'd stumbled and then…and then…well, she had no other excuses for the way his eyes had begun to slide closed as his head lowered to hers. But it _might_ not have been an almost kiss. Well, actually that was the only thing it could be.

Wait.

Orihime stopped in her snow tracks. He'd been about to kiss her! This…this was huge! No, this was impossible! It was crazy! Kurosaki Ichigo almost kissed her! And if it hadn't been for the clerk, he might have actually gotten to it! Holy shi-

"Orihime? You okay?"

Her head snapped up and she could only stare.

"Oi! You all right?"

Eventually she must've nodded and moved her feet because soon they were walking side by side again and soon after that they'd reached her apartment building and she was fumbling with the keys. With Ichigo's help, the door eventually swung open and a small, white ball of fluff zoomed up to her and put its paws high up on her boot. "Ah! Good evening!" She grinned and scooped the kitten up in her arms, nuzzling the purring fur ball.

"Cute."

Orihime turned to smile up at him. "She's Chad's Christmas present. I got her at the shelter the other day."

Ichigo blinked repeatedly. "Oh. That's a really good idea."

"Have you gotten him anything yet?" He shook his head. "Well, if you want to you could buy him some stuff to go with her. I wanted to get some, but all I could afford was a litter box with litter and food dishes with kitten food."

He did the blinking thing again. "That's…a really good idea too." His strong mouth lifted into his Harrison Ford half-smile and she melted. "Thanks, Orihime."

She nodded. "W-Well, um, thanks for walking me home. Can I get you anything to drink or eat?"

"Uh." Ichigo looked into her apartment and she could've sworn something flashed across his eyes that turned them from butterscotch to dark chocolate, but he quickly lowered his gaze. "N-No thanks, I should get home or my father will beat my head in."

"Okay, see you next week then."

"Yeah." With that he was out the door. She shut it behind him and fell back against the door, cuddling the kitten in her arms and closing her eyes.

Kurosaki Ichigo had tried to kiss her.

Orihime touched her hand to her cold lips.

And finally shook her head with vehemence. Silly girl. It was just because they were looking at all those books that she – _both_ of them were out of their minds a little. With determination, she shoved off the door and stalked into her kitchen to get her and her guests' dinner fixed. Soon she was humming and smiling to herself.

She couldn't _wait_ until Christmas Eve.

:

Orihime's door swung open on Ichigo's first knock. "Grimmjow. There's a cat on your shoulder."

"No fuck, Sherlock. Get yer ass in here."

Ichigo barely got his ass inside before Grimmjow slammed the door behind him. His scowling face and ominous, broad shoulders a sharp contrast to the sweet, white kitten with a light blue ribbon tied round its neck, happily perched on the espada's shoulder.

Deciding not to comment further, Ichigo dumped his bag of gifts next to the Christmas tree and followed the sound of giggling girls into the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas, Ichigo-kun!" Orihime waved at him with her wooden spoon, wearing a green apron in the shape of a Christmas tree, covering whatever was under it, and her slender legs in black tights with a little sparkle as she moved, and her feet shoved into very sparkly red heels. Her long hair was swept up into a loose do, her hairpins moved to one side of her head and a sparkly red bow tucked into the folds of auburn.

"Merry Christmas. You look…festive."

"Merry Christmas, Itsygo!" Neliel cried, playfully using her child form's speech.

His head swiveled to the espada who was dressed head to toe in green. "You look like an elf."

She huffed and planted her hands on her hips. "Well, you look like a big boring 'Bah Humbug'." Neliel broke out into a grin then. "I learned that phrase from watching the Christmas Carol today," she told him proudly. "Orihime's been schooling us on all things Christmas."

"And I still say it's a lameass ooey gooey shit day."

Neliel frowned at her blue Grinch with a bathing kitten on his shoulder. "Grimmjow, did you learn nothing from Scrooge? You have to keep Christmas or you'll end up being visited by three ghosts!"

"I am a ghost."

"…Well, then you'll die and everyone will celebrate at your funeral!"

"I already am dead. Comes with being a ghost. And so are you, sweetheart."

Neliel huffed in frustration. "Well, you should still celebrate Christmas just because…well, you just should, that's all."

Grimmjow didn't look convinced, but just then the bell rang and Tatsuki was the second to arrive, all the others coming quickly after that until Orihime's apartment was all a buzz with Christmas cheer and…well, what you get when you put a Quincy, a shinigami, and an espada king in the same room.

"Star Wars ain't the greatest movies of all time, Ishida. That's ludicrous! They were pioneering in special effects, but the script is shit."

"Okay, Oh Great Shinigami, what, in your infallible opinion, is the greatest movie of all time?"

"You can't just pick one, but off the top of my head one of them would be The Return of the King."

"Lord of the Rings?! Are you serious? You counter Star Wars with Lord of the Rings?"

"Lord of the Rings owns Star Wars any day of the week."

"You're a moron."

"If I'm a moron, that makes you a sea sponge."

"Would you motherfuckers shut the hell up?! You've been arguing over these stupidass moving pictures for the past half hour!"

"Moving pictures?" Ishida raised a disdaining brow at Grimmjow. "Do you make moonshine in an underground speakeasy too? Better stock up on your illegal assets before the stock market crashes."

"…What the fuck is he talking about?" Grimmjow asked a highly amused Neliel.

She patted his chest and kissed his cheek. "You're too young to know."

Just then, Orihime rescued them from further strife by bouncing in with eggnog and cookies and, for Ichigo, a very distractingly adorable red velvet party dress with white fur round the hem that fell just above her knees. The cookies were eyed suspiciously until Neliel announced that she made them and Orihime decorated them, and they all murmured thanks and dove for the cutely iced sugar cookies.

Later, when all were stuffed with the impressive Christmas spread, Orihime announced it was time to open presents. Chad had already gotten his from Orihime. The kitten had transferred its clingy ways from Grimmjow to Chad after experiencing the love the big Hispanic lavished on her. He named her Cottonball, ignoring the protests from his male friends that he needed to give it a manlier name.

Ichigo regretted giving Tatsuki the sword the moment she tore the wrapping off of it as her eye gleamed evilly in his direction. But to his deep relief, Orihime was overjoyed with the Laugh Hour DVD set he gave her. It seemed trivial compared to what he _wanted_ to give her, but as long as she was happy.

Once all the gifts had been passed out and opened, wrapping paper and bows strewn about the living room floor, Ichigo suddenly realized he didn't have any gifts. He blinked a bit, sort of feeling a little hurt by it. Kind of odd that they all forgot about him, but okay… Suddenly a red envelope appeared before his face. He looked up to see Rukia smirking at him.

"Merry Christmas, you goof."

He glared at her and snatched the thing from her hand, secretly ecstatic that at least _she_ had remembered. He tore it open and stared at the paper in his hands. "Is this for real?" he asked Rukia. It was a contract that ensured a _competent_ member of Soul Society would protect Karakura Town and its spirits from hollows, only calling him in on emergencies when necessary, allowing him to live his human life.

She nodded. "Yup, a little Christmas gift from all of Soul Society, organized by the woman in red behind me."

He leaned over to look behind her at Orihime who was beaming at them, until she realized it was her that Rukia was talking about. "R-Rukia!"

"Oh I know you didn't want me to tell him, but I think he should know."

Orihime blushed and bit at her lip nervously. "Well, I hardly did a thing. It was everybody else who did it. Soul Society wouldn't have just listened to me."

"Thank you, Orihime," Ichigo smiled gratefully at her. "This…this is seriously the best Christmas present you could have given me."

"Not _quite_ the best," Tatsuki grinned mischievously at him and reached behind the couch to pull out a guitar case with a giant red bow wrapped around it. Ichigo's eyes grew to saucer size as she set it in front of him. "We all pitched in. Organized, of course, by the same woman in red."

"Tatsuki!"

Tatsuki laughed. "You really thought you were going to get away with not getting the credit for your Christmas angel deeds?" She turned back to Ichigo who was reverently running his hand over the black case. "Well open it already, you doofus."

He glanced at her in a dreamlike state, and then back down to gently remove the bow. He took a deep breath and then slowly unlocked the case and lifted the top. There she was in her firebursting Gibson glory. Do not cry. Do not cry. Do _not_ cry.

And the craziest thing? He had time now. Time at last to hang with his friends more. Learn guitar. Date… His eyes lifted up to look at the grinning girl on her knees next to the coffee table. Maybe…nah, there was no way life would be that good to him on one day. Was Orihime interested in him? Do angels fall for ogres?

"Orihime…I… 'thank you' doesn't seem to be enough."

She blushed and waved her hand at him dismissively. "It's more than enough. You don't even have to do that. Besides, there's no way I could've done it without everyone else's help."

He smiled at her and then looked around the room. "Thanks guys…you…"

"Seriously, Kurosaki, don't get all sentimental on us. It's revolting." Ishida pushed up his glasses to hide his smile.

"Besides it saved us from having to actually put in effort to go out and shop for your gift," Tatsuki remarked.

Ichigo shook his head and gently stroked the smooth finish of the guitar.

"Oh yeah, can't forget this."

Ichigo looked up just in time to take an amp to the chest as Grimmjow tossed it. "Thanks," he wheezed.

"Welcome."

Orihime suddenly bounded up from the floor. "Well, who wants hot chocolate?" She left for the kitchen in a choir of 'I do's.

"Play something for us, Ichigo," Rukia piped up.

"Eh? I don't know how to play!"

"Are you kidding? I paid good money to see a show!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "I have to learn first and I'll give one to you next year. Maybe."

"No maybes, mister!"

Ichigo stood up and lightly shoved Rukia's head with his hand. "Be good and we'll see."

"Why you-"

But Ichigo was already in the kitchen by the time Rukia got the insult out and Orihime was wildly shaking the can of whipped cream, practically jumping with it. "Ya know, I don't think you need to shake it that hard, Orihime."

She stopped and looked at him with wide eyes. "But it says 'Shake Well'. I want to make sure I shake it well! What if I don't shake it well enough? I think I'd rather shake it over-well than under-well."

He smirked and shook his head, gently taking the can from her hands and easily spraying a large dollop into the nearest mug of hot chocolate. "See? It's fine."

Orihime hmphed. "Only because I shook the Dickens out of it."

As she frowned in concentration, spraying into another mug, Ichigo crossed his arms and leaned his hip against the counter. "I don't know how to thank you, Orihime."

She blushed and shrugged her shoulder, moving to the next mug. "You already did, Ichigo. Really, it was no big deal."

"Yeah, it was a big deal. A huge deal for me anyway. A lot bigger than some TV show DVD set."

She stopped and fully turned to him, a shocked expression on her face. "Kurosaki Ichigo, I _love_ your gift! More than you know! Don't you dare downplay your gift to me!"

He shifted uncomfortably. "But-"

"No buts! You – Oh! Oh my gosh I'm so sorry, Ichigo-kun!"

Ichigo stood there with wide eyes, mouth dropped open and full of whipped cream, his cheek covered in Reddi-Whip. She'd pointed the canister to him in rebuke and had apparently pressed the tip on accident. He closed his mouth and swallowed the cream as she set the can down and frantically apologized, looking around for a towel.

She grabbed one and quickly reached up to wipe it off his face. "I can't believe I did that, I-" She stopped when she noticed he was laughing at her and soon she started giggling. "You were pretty funny looking."

"Funny looking, huh?"

She nodded, giggling more and not noticing that his arm had reached behind her. Suddenly she found her mouth and cheek covered in cream. She tried to protest, but her mouth was full of whipped cream. Orihime quickly swallowed it and tried to get the can away from him, but he was dangling it high above her head.

"Hey! Give that back to me!"

"No way. You're not qualified to handle this kind of equipment, ma'am."

She planted her hands on her hips. "Kind of equipment, indeed. I did it on accident, but you did it on purpose! Who's the more dangerously reckless of the two?"

Ichigo grabbed the towel from her hand and swiped at her cheek. "I have more control over it." She caught him off guard and jumped high enough to grab it, quickly pointing it in his direction and backing away from him.

"Now you stay where you are." She shook it at him as he grinned and stepped closer. "I'm warning you!"

"You won't do it. You don't have it in you." Another step.

"I did it before, I can do it again!" Her back hit the cupboards.

"That was an accident. Doesn't count." He took a final step and the white tip stuck him in the chest. "Do it. I dare ya. Go ahead, make my day."

Orihime laughed at his badly done Clint Eastwood impersonation, and Ichigo, without thinking, swiped his finger down her cheek, gathering a bit of whipped cream he'd missed, and stuck his finger in his mouth.

Abruptly, Orihime stopped laughing and stared at him as all joking left Ichigo's eyes, his finger still in his mouth.

He really hadn't been thinking when he'd done that. Not thinking at all. But now he was thinking. Thinking how she looked adorably gorgeous in that Christmas get up. Thinking about how the bits of cream still on her cheek and lip were sexy as hell. Thinking about how his lips were starting to get awfully close to hers. Wondering how his hands had gotten on her arms and were now moving behind her back to pull her closer. Vaguely noticing the loud clangidy-clang as the canister slipped from Orihime's hand and fell to the hard floor. Definitely noticing as her hands moved up his chest and over his shoulders.

A millisecond more and his mouth was pressed to hers sending a hot rush through his body. He kissed her a little harder, hugging her tight as her soft body molded to his, her sweet lips kissing him with just as much passion as he felt. Somehow their mouths soon opened and Ichigo was the first to claim dominance of her mouth, exploring her mouth that tasted of sweet cream and sugar cookies.

Orihime responded eagerly, her fingers sinking into his hair and keeping his head firmly against hers. She felt as if she her going to melt right there on the spot if he kept kissing her like this and slowly running his hands up and down her back like that. A soft moan escaped her lips when his hands suddenly gripped her hips and he pressed her body against the tall cupboard doors.

"Wooey, got a little too much heat cookin' in here, don't we?"

Ichigo tore his lips from hers, his head whipping back to see their audience. It was Grimmjow who had spoken up, but he wasn't the only there.

"Aw, Grimmjow," Neliel complained. "You ruined the moment!"

Ishida coughed. "Looks like the party is breaking up the party."

Tatsuki and Rukia just looked at each other and grinned, convinced it was their outfit picking that had finally gotten Ichigo to act on his instincts.

Chad, with one hand holding Cottonball, gave them thumbs up.

"Do you _mind_?" Ichigo growled as Orihime buried her face into his chest.

"No, no," Neliel assured, waving her hand at the couple. "Go right ahead, don't mind us."

Ichigo looked at each of them. "You aren't going to give us any privacy are you?"

"Privacy?" Grimmjow raised his eyebrow. "What do you need to do that needs privacy, Kurosaki?"

Neliel patted him on the arm. "Ichigo needs Orihime to sharpen his sword."

"Toothpick, Neliel," Grimmjow corrected. "It's just a toothpick."

"All right, everybody out!" Tatsuki finally cried, pushing them out of the kitchen, and winking at the couple before she shut the door.

Ichigo blew out a sigh of relief and Orihime finally peeked out from her hiding spot. Their eyes met and the full realization of what had just happened, hit them both at full force.

"Oh! I-"

"Um-"

"You first."

"No, you should go first."

"Well…um…" Ichigo licked at his lips nervously and then stared at her for a moment. "Do you…Do you maybe just wanna talk later and do more of," his finger waggled in between what little space was between them, "_this_ right now."

Orihime nodded vigorously. "Great idea."

He grinned and pulled her hips against him, recapturing her lips with his – but suddenly she pulled back. "Wait, what about the others? And the hot cocoa?"

Ichigo kissed her cheek, licking up a bit of cream. "Fuck the others and fuck the hot cocoa."

She shivered against him and her head tilted to the side as he pressed his lips to her neck. "O-Okay."

He kissed his way back up to her lips, murmuring against them. "Merry Christmas, Orihime."

She smiled and hugged him tightly. "Merry Christmas, Ichig-Oh!"

He chuckled at her response to his hand sneaking a squeeze at her backside before devouring her mouth. And he was _definitely_ loving the new variation on his name.

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Yes, those are real book titles. My best friend and I scoured the section for good ones, giggling all the while. I want to buy the "Tickle His Pickle" one just to say I own a book called "Tickle His Pickle".

And yup, yup. Since this is so terribly late and it was getting too long anyway, Part B of codegal's Christmas present will be making an appearance in the form of a GrimmNel sequel to this in my GrimmNel oneshot series to find out what "fucking awesome" gift Grimmjow got her...hopefully fairly soon...

Once again, belated Merry Christmas everyone and Happy New Year!!


	22. Obsessed

I don't...I don't even know about this one guys. It's ridiculous. No really, don't expect it to make much sense. I started this months ago after some peeps were jokin' around that Ichigo and Orihime have obsessive love and someone mentioned the song "Obsessed" by Mariah Carey as their theme song or something (I think it was fly or ED or somebody). Anyhow, I got the idea for this. Read the warnings. And seriously. Don't...just...I'm done with it. I'm tired of messing with it xD

**Warnings: **Crack, OOC (and yet...some IC...idek), poking fun at the crazier peeps of IchiRuki fandom (disclaimer: not all are like this. In fact I know many IR fans who are lovely people and quite sane. This is poking fun at the vocal minority who aren't as sane.)

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_Obsessed_

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**All up in the blogs sayin' we met at the bar**

**When I don't even know who you are**

**Sayin' we up in your house, sayin' I'm up in your car**

A polite knock came at the door to Orihime's room. She sighed and called out, "Come in." Ulquiorra walked in with a sliver plate sitting atop his hand. "What is it?"

"Some…interesting publicity, Your Highness." He leaned down lower so she could reach the tabloid.

Her eyes grew wide when she saw what was on the cover. "What on earth?! Why…" She flipped it open to the cover story's page and her eyes frantically scanned over the words. "I don't believe this…" The title read, _Hueco Mundo Queen Sleeping With Human Teen?_ The article contained excerpts of the blog kept by teenage boy, Kurosaki Ichigo, her acquaintance from the human world who had followed her to Hueco Mundo.

_Inoue Orihime is asleep in my bed right now! And what's she wearing? Nothiinnng. That's right. Who's King of the Internet? That would be me, Kurosaki Ichigo, Sd. (Sd means Stud. Yeah, I have a degree in it. Eat it.)_

_Damn this girl's body is fiiine! No wonder she's the Queen! Oh but who's her king now? Yours truly, that's who._

Orihime sputtered and huffed, clutching the magazine's pages in her fists.. "Oh my God wh-what a creep! _First_ he stalks me in the human world and then when I find a way to escape he follows me to Hueco Mundo on the whim of some kind of hero complex – making it ten times harder for me to defeat Aizen as you very well know. Not to mention having to go to the trouble of bringing all the arrancar back from the dead so I'd have someone to rule over – and now he's pretending to…to…"

"Be sexing you up?" Ulquiorra offered placidly.

She glanced at him warily. "Um…yeah…"

**But you in LA, and I'm out at Jermaine's**

**I'm up in the A, you so, so lame**

**And no one here even mentions your name**

**It must be the weed, it must be the E**

'**Cause you be poppin' hood, you get it poppin'**

"But how does he expect to get away with this?! I'm here and he's there! No one cares about you, Ichigo!" She clutched the tabloid and shook it, shouting at the glossy cover. "You're lame and it's showing! It's showing bad. Lay off the drugs, loser!"

Ulquiorra coughed and she quickly regained control of herself, smoothing out the magazine on her lap.

"Anyhow, we need to get this cleared up somehow because I will _not_ have my reputation tarnished by this joker."

"What would you have me do, your majesty?"

**Why you so obsessed with me? Boy, I wanna know**

**Lyin' that you're sexin' me when everybody knows**

**It's clear that you're upset with me**

**Finally found the girl that you couldn't impress**

**Last man on the earth still couldn't get this**

Kurosaki Ichigo was pacing his room furiously, stopping every few seconds to gaze at his Orihime shrine and sigh forlornly. A shrine that made up an entire wall of his room, full of pictures, pieces of clothing, the empty can from a drink he'd given her once… Suddenly he groaned when he heard a steady roar coming from far off, knowing what was coming for him.

He marched over to his bed, settled on his bed next to the window, and threw it open, scowling at the fangirl crowd that was stampeding towards his house, a small white bundle in their midst. Ichigo slapped a hand to his face and then waited while the mob filled the lawn below. In unison, they grew still and a single voice rose up. "This is an intervention, Ichigo."

He waved his hand in a circle, wanting them to get on with it.

"You are on a destructive path. A horrible evil path that will turn you into a monster, into someone – no, some_thing_ that you are not! And that path has a name. Its name is… Inoue Orihime!"

Ichigo yawned and watched with half-lidded eyes as they brought the white bundle to the front and the fangirl who was speaking held it up to him as an offering. "This is your redemption! This is your true destiny! This is a destiny greater than love!" With dramatic finesse the bundle was unrolled and Rukia tumbled onto the ground and then quickly scrambled to her feet, first glaring menacingly at the crazed mob before whirling around to shake her fist up at the window. "Ichigo! You-"

"Oh, look at her passion for you! Look at her strong stance! This strong woman is the one you need! She-"

"Oh for the love of God, shut up already!" Rukia exclaimed. "Interrupt me again and I'll freeze all your asses into the second Ice Age, got it?"

The crowd nodded as one to their goddess and Rukia groaned, turning back to glare up at Ichigo. "You! This is all _your_ fault! And do you know where I was? Do you?! In bed! In. Bed. Do you understand what I mean by _in bed_, Ichigo?!"

Ichigo sleepily rubbed at his eye as he nodded. "Yeah, yeah. In bed with Renji doin' the dirty."

Ichigo and Rukia clutched their hands to their ears at the screams of horror.

"Shut up!!" they both yelled. The crowd reverently calmed down.

"Anyway," Rukia ground out. "Would you just go disappear in Hueco Mundo or something with Miss Thang so I don't have to be constantly dragged out here. They have the absolute worst timing too. Do you have _any_ idea how close I was to orgasm? _Do you_?!"

"TMI, Rukia."

"Like I give a damn. I am an unsatisfied woman with needs!"

"Let Ichigo take care of you!" a voice from the back cried out, followed by murmurs of approval.

Rukia glared at them. "You're a sick bunch of bastards, do you know that? Do you realize the age gap between us? Do you?? And why the hell would I pick that carrot top when I have a huge, muscular, red-haired, tattooed man of my own." She started swooning a little on the spot at the thought of him. Poor Renji had been chained to their bed by these maniacs…a sly smile crept over her face as she remembered his naked body with iron chains bound around it. Oh she could have fun with –

"Stop thinking about Renji! He's a loser!" another voice called out.

The little shinigami spun on her heel and grasped the handle of her zanpakuto, her reiatsu flaring violently, her eyes glowing red. "Who the hell said that? I'll shatter you into a million tiny pieces…_after_ I make you wish you'd never been born."

"Rukia, calm down," Ichigo admonished.

"Calm down? Calm down?! I'll calm down as soon as you stop fapping to your Orihime shrine and get off your ass and fap the real deal!"

More screams of horror.

"Dammit, Rukia! Watch what you say around these freaks!"

A girl called out. "Oh look at them fighting! The sexual tension! I can't handle it!"

Rukia closed her eyes and calmly unsheathed her sword. "Tsugi no mai, Ha-"

"Rukia! Christ, don't kill them you moron!"

The hot-headed shinigami glared up at him, glanced back at the crowd, and finally sheathed her sword with a sigh. "I was just gonna freeze them a little…"

"Rukia is so kind and merciful!"

"Our moon goddess!"

Rukia slapped her palm to her forehead.

"A sex symbol!"

Rukia paused, cocked her head to the side in thought, and then nodded and shrugged. "Yeah, I could agree with that last one."

"Ichigo!! Give up your virginity to the goddess!"

He smirked down at the crowd from his window. "Oh I've already given up my virginity to the goddess."

The squeals were joined by dog howls and neighbors shouting expletives out their windows.

Ichigo looked down at them smugly. "Goddess…O-ri-hi-me." He quickly slipped on his earmuffs.

Rukia slumped to the ground, her arms clutched tightly against her head as the screams sliced through the air.

_One hour later…_

Rukia slowly rose from the ground when the fangirls had finally lost their voices. She stared at the ground for a moment…and then in one swift movement pushed off the ground, flew up to his window with sword extended, and poked Ichigo's neck with the point. "You." Her voice was gravelly and her chest rose and fell as she wheezed. "Stop obsessing with her and go get her or so help me I will put you in a small, locked arena with Kenpachi. And if he doesn't kill you, I will! **Capisce**?"

Ichigo nodded fervently. "C-Capisce."

She slowly lowered her sword and nodded, glaring eyes still on him. "Good. Make sure that you do. I don't want to have to keep being dragged up here just to hear about your shoddy love life." She turned her back on him. "The next time I come here it better be to the sound of wedding bells!"

"Wedding bells!" a hoarse voice called out. "She said wedding bells!"

Rukia threw up her hands in disgust. "For the love of _God_ would you give it a rest already!" Just then a portal opened next to her. "Ugh, finally. Later, Ichigo. And it better be _much_ later."

As soon as the doors shut behind her and the portal disappeared, another frog-throated fangirl called up to Ichigo. "What are you waiting for, Ichigo? Go after her! Go after your love!"

Ichigo thought for a moment…and then slammed his fist on the window sill. "You're right!" Weak cheers sounded. "I'll go there and bring her back! And then we'll make sweet, sweet love for the rest of lives!" The ground began to turn red from the nosebleeds. "Wait for me…Orihime!"

He chuckled at the weak attempts of screaming from the hoarse fangirls. His hands reached up to shut the window, but then a loud crackling sound broke through the sky and the green-eyed espada stepped out from the Garganta. Ulquiorra glanced nervously at the horde of fans, but relaxed when he saw how weakened they were and turned his attention back to the human boy.

"Orihime-sama demands your presence. Fall in love with me, Kurosaki."

"I beg your pardon?"

Ulquiorra coughed into his fist. "I said, come with me, Kurosaki. Orihime-sama demands it."

"R-Really? She…_demands_ it?"

The espada nodded. And Ichigo gaped at him for a moment, clapped with glee, ducked into his room to stuff condoms in his pockets, and finally jumped out of his window – only to plummet towards the ground. Ulquiorra grasped his forearm, grumbling, "Moron. You can't walk on air in human form." He yanked Ichigo up into his arms and walked back into the Garganta, cradling Ichigo.

Ichigo shifted uncomfortably. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Teaching you the correct way to carry a woman since you seem to be dense in that area… among others."

"The hell? I'm not a woman!!"

"That may very well be, but would you rather I carry you in this manner or drop you into the swirling black abyss below us?"

Ichigo glanced down nervously. "I'm good."

A tiny smirk turned up the espada's black lips. "Indeed."

"But get your hand off my ass."

"Oh, I'm afraid I can't shift at all or I might drop you."

"Why you-"

Finally Ulquiorra stepped into the palace of Hueco Mundo, the opening closed behind them and Ichigo had to struggle out of the espada's grasp, tumbling to the cold floor. He looked around and glared at the cool, green-eyed statue as he stood and brushed himself off.

His motions halted when a sweet voice echoed against the walls. "Kurosaki-kun?"

**You're delusional, you're delusional**

**Boy, you losin' your mind**

**It's confusin' you, you're confused, you know**

**Why you wastin' your time?**

**Got you fired up with your Napoleon complex**

**Seein' right through you like you bathin' in Windex**

Ichigo's eyes lit up like a little boy's on Christmas morning, running pointlessly as the voice came again, echoing from all directions. Finally he heard a heavy sigh reverberate off the walls and her mumble, "Damn these pieceofshit acoustics." The angel's voice came louder, "Kurosaki-kun, stop." He stopped. "Turn to your right." He turned to his right. "Now walk. That's it. Keep – no, don't run! Stop! Okay, back it up a few steps. Turn to your right. Slowly, slowly…stop! Now slide to the right. Good. Slide to the left. Mhm. Take it back now. One hop this time…"

Her laughter derailed him, but at the same time it was music to his deprived ears. "My Queen! Wherefore art thou?! Please, lead me to where you are so that I might worship the ground where upon you rest thine feet! Let me lavish praise upon you, allow this lowly man to speak with you if only to sing ballads of your great beauty and-"

"For the love of all that is holy and unholy would you shut the fuck up!" Ichigo spun around at the sound of the grouchy voice behind him, a familiar blue-haired espada snarling at him from the cracked open door. "Some people are trying to get a little down and dirty, know what I mean? So shut the fuck up!"

A muffled voice came from inside the room. "Close the door and come back to bed, Grimmjow. I'll just put some music on to drown him out."

Grimmjow grumbled back an unintelligible response before glaring at Ichigo one last time and pulling back into the room to shut the door. "Aw, don't put that Marvin Gaye shit on, Neliel!"

The door banged shut and the laughing voice sounded again. "Okay, go straight, make a right, third door on your left."

By way of eager feet and eager hands he was soon plummeting into her chambers. The door shut with a thud as he slid to his knees in front of her, grasping the hem of her white dress that rippled over the floor. "Orihime-sama you are more beautiful than-"

"Oh don't start with that drivel again. You haven't even looked at anything besides the floor since you bulleted in here."

"But one look at you and the image is burned into a man's memory for the rest of his… life…" The pause indicated he had finally lifted his head to look at the woman lounging on the fluffy chair in front of him. Her long, caramel hair spilled over her shoulders and caressed her generous breasts. A silky white, strapless dress clung to her curves and fell in heavy folds down her lush legs and over her feet. She tossed her hair over a bare shoulder and observed him with a slight smile and a slightly raised eyebrow.

"You've been naughty, Ku-ro-sa-ki-kun."

"I-I have?"

**Boy why you so obsessed with me?**

Orihime pulled out her slim, silver scepter and tucked it under his chin, tilting up his head further to look deep into his eyes. Who would have thought that this boy she had used to crush on so long ago would now worship her feet? Of course, when she'd gotten her powers – with begrudged thanks to him – her thoughts had soon begun to dwell on higher aspirations. And when Ulquiorra had come to her that fateful day? The real plan had gone underway. All she had needed to do was convince Aizen that she was just a simple schoolgirl with a schoolgirl crush with that little midnight confession of hers, because she knew he'd be watching, and Hueco Mundo had been as good as hers.

Well, other than a few bumps in the road, namely her old crush, Kurosaki Ichigo, who had almost ruined everything. Not to mention she had had to play the role of the faithful cheerleader a bit longer.

"Ichigo," she finally said, dropping her teasing tone. "Why would you say those things on your blog that you know are lies and that you know would get you in trouble with me and…" Her eyes suddenly widened as her scepter drooped in her hand. "And would get you sent to Hueco Mundo." She frowned at the mischievous schoolboy grin that he gave her. "That was what you wanted. All that was just so you could see me."

"Not just so I could see you! But I was…well, I was hoping I could become your servant."

"My servant?" She blinked rapidly. "Ichigo…you realize servitude to me is a lifetime commitment don't you?"

He nodded eagerly.

"You can leave your family, your father and your sisters, just to serve me?"

This time there was a pause and his nod was less eager.

She smiled softly. Still the same Ichigo. "No, you can't. You could never abandon your family like that just for this obsession of yours. You couldn't live here with the enemies of your friends."

"But you _are_ my friend, Orihime. And this isn't just an obsession. I love you," he insisted.

Something old and long abandoned tugged sharply at her heart when he spoke those three words, but she shook her head against it, frowning at him. "No, you don't. And I haven't been your friend for a long time. I was only pretending to be. I'm a traitor, Ichigo. Of the worst kind. If you think you love me, you don't really know who I am."

Suddenly he rose to his feet, the old scowl back on his face, and it almost made her smile a little at the memories of the doodles she'd done all over her notebook of him and his scowl. "If you think that, then you don't really know who you are."

Her eyes widened again, but then narrowed into a glare as she stood. "I…I could have you killed for talking to me like that!"

"And why don't you? Because it's true! You're kind and compassionate and quirky and smart and beautiful."

She whirled around and stalked to the wine Ulquiorra had left on the small table. "You idiot. I told you I was pretending, didn't I?" Her hands shook as she took out the cork and poured the red wine into her glass.

"You can't pretend hours of selflessly slaving over a stranger's wound. Ishida told me how you cried over the dead shinigami. You can't pretend tears like that. You can't pretend reaching out for an enemy as he dies. You can't pretend weeping over me as I was injured for your sake. You can't pretend shielding me at risk of putting your life in danger. You can't pretend any of that, Orihime. It's who you are. I know it is!"

Orihime kept her back to him as she shook her head silently and gulped at the wine. What idiot's idea had it been to bring him here anyway? She gasped as she felt his presence suddenly come up behind her, his breathing blowing softly behind her ear.

"Why are you so obsessed with me, Ichigo? Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Because I can't leave you where I know you don't belong. Where I know you won't be happy. Because I love you."

She squeaked when his hands suddenly wrapped around her arms and she spun around to face him, causing the lip of her wine glass to catch on his chest and send red wine splashing all over his white t-shirt.

"Oh! Oh dear! I'm so sorry!" _Dammit_, Queen of Hueco Mundo and she was still a clumsy goose. "Here, take it off and I'll have Ulquiorra clean it off for you right away." She sat her empty glass down and called for the espada who immediately came rushing in. "Would you take Ichigo's shirt and clean the…um…" She licked her lips as Ichigo crossed his arms and grasped the hem of his shirt, pulling it up over his abs – she'd forgotten how nice those were – his chest – oh, that too – and finally off his shoulders – which were way too broad and muscular for his own good – and finally off of his head, tossing it over to Ulquiorra.

"Wine stain off?" Ulquiorra offered.

"Y-Yes. Thank you."

Ulquiorra raised his brow at her out of character gratitude, but said nothing and walked off with a final appreciative glance at the half naked man in her chamber before shutting the door behind him.

Orihime wondered why it suddenly seemed so unbearably warm in the room. She turned around and grasped the bottle to pour herself another drink, but suddenly warm, tanned hands stopped her as they placed themselves over hers. "Don't you think you've had enough? You may be the queen of Hueco Mundo, but you're still underage."

She bit her lip at the heat she could feel against her back and his intoxicating scent that surrounded her. "Age doesn't matter here. And most of my wine ended up on your shirt." She refilled the glass as the hands stayed on hers. Finally they moved up her forearm, back up her arms to her shoulders. Orihime took a big swallow of her wine as he kneaded her shoulders. "What are you doing? You can't touch me."

"Then stop me," he taunted.

She blinked. When had he become so…so…_seductive_?

**Tellin' the world how much you miss me**

**But we never were, so why you trippin'**

**You a mom and pop, I'm a corporation**

**I'm the press conference, you a conversation**

_No_. She would not give into him. She hadn't come this far only to be brought down by someone so beneath her! No matter how good his warm, calloused hands felt against her skin. Or how the heat from his body hovering behind hers and his warm breath on her skin had heat spreading throughout her chest.

A light gasp escaped her lips when he suddenly pressed his lips to her ear and whispered her name. "Orihime."

No. Her name wasn't Orihime. She wasn't a princess. She was a queen! A queen who wasn't easily seduced by peasants. "No!" she cried and spun around, the wine glass in her hand doing the exact same thing as before, red wine ended up splashed all over his bare chest.

Orihime's eyes widened as he stared back at her in surprise. "Oh!" she gasped at the half naked man in front of her, his slim jeans slung low on his hips, red wine glistening and dripping down his chiseled torso.

He chuckled nervously. "Sorry, I keep wasting your wine, don't I?"

She watched in horrified slow motion as his hand reached up towards his hair. _Oh no. Don't do it. Don't! _She wanted to look away, _willed_ herself to look away, but she just wasn't strong enough. Orihime's heart rammed against her chest as he half smiled at her and slowly ran his fingers through his hair. _Too much! _"Guh!" She clapped her hands to her face and spun away from the Greek god, bending over at the waist as the blood flowed from her nose.

"Orihime? You all right?"

She lifted a bloody hand and waved back at him. "Fine, fine! There's a washroom over there. Please help yourself."

"But…there's blood on your hand! You-"

"Go to the washroom!" she commanded.

"O-Okay."

She listened as Ichigo reluctantly walked away and then she searched around for something to clean up with. "Honestly," she muttered to herself. "A nosebleed? Over that…that…_peasant_?!" She grabbed up a towel and began rigorously wiping at her face. "You're better than this, Inoue. Snap out of it! You didn't bring him here to be seduced by him, you brought him here to…to…" Grey eyes blinked. Well, she and Ulquiorra hadn't really gotten much further in their planning than bringing him here.

Which was a really stupid idea now that she thought about it…

But maybe it would be nice to have him around as a servant…maybe it would save her reputation and she could definitely use some eye candy around this place. The only beings who weren't ugly as sin were Starrk, who was constantly sleeping, and Grimmjow, who was constantly sleeping with his mate, and Ulquiorra, who was good looking in his own way, but pale and skinny wasn't really her thing. Plus he was always too busy sneaking around with his gay porn stash.

A slow smile spread across Orihime's face. And she could have Ulquiorra burn the shirt and just tell Ichigo that they couldn't get the stain out and they just didn't have any more shirts available so she'd be sorry, but would he mind serving her shirtless. "Kukukuku-"

"What's so funny?"

She squeaked and spun around. "N-Nothing, K-K-K-K-"

Ichigo raised an eyebrow at her as he ruffled the towel through his hair. "Something wrong?"

Orihime clutched the blood stained towel to her face as she tried to tear her eyes away from the dripping wet piece of manflesh clad in only jeans, the top button undone, and hanging precariously around his hips. She squeaked again when he stepped closer, his towel falling to his shoulder. "Orihime? There's blood all over that towel. Let me look at you."

She wildly shook her head back and forth as his hand reached for the towel, hating herself for feeling like a crushing, blushing schoolgirl. Only this time her crush was half naked and wanted her! Suddenly the towel was snatched from her face, revealing blood dripping from her nose.

Ichigo freaked and lifted her into his arms, swiftly carrying her over to Aizen's massive couch, settling her head in his lap. "Orihime, lean your head back. That's it." Orihime watched him with big eyes while he dabbed at the blood that was only coming out faster as he leaned over her, droplets from his hair falling on her skin. He brushed her hair back and ran his knuckles down her cheek. "Why is your nose bleeding so much? Maybe staying in this desert is having bad effects on you."

She could only shake her head as she felt her face grow warmer and warmer at the constant touching and being surrounded by nearly naked man.

"Darling," he whispered, his warm brown eyes filled with concern.

Orihime frowned and sniffed up the blood. "I'm not your darling."

He smiled and sat her upright on his lap, his arms holding her back and waist. "My Queen, then?"

Her eyes snapped open wide, her face flaming red. Why did it feel so embarrassing when he said it?! "I…th-that…you…" She could've used her shield at any time as he leaned in closer and closer, but she only watched his lips as they moved towards hers, his warm breath dusting over her. And suddenly she realized she'd never been kissed before. She was a queen, but she'd never been kissed. Maybe…just this once…even if it was from her obsessive stalker…her unbelievably attractive obsessive stalker…

"Well, it looks like you're feeling better and since it seems that you've decided for me against a life of servitude, I'll just be on my way."

Orihime stared after his retreating back, seconds passing before she realized she'd been unceremoniously plucked off his lap and plopped onto the couch. And still virgin lipped.

"Wait a second where do you think you're going!" she screeched.

Ichigo turned around, his eyebrows raised and his mouth in a surprised 'o'. "Back home."

Orihime clenched her fists and gritted her teeth. "Back here. Now."

He obediently came back to her, studying her. "What's up?"

She _hated_ how he was acting so nonchalant all of a sudden. "I never said yay or nay to your offer to be my servant."

"But like you said, I can't abandon my family."

"I'll give you vacation time."

"Health benefits?"

"Yes."

"With dental?"

"Fine, fine."

"And do I need to return home to grab some shirts or do you think you'll be able to control you nosebleeds around me?"

"No, that won't be necessary. I'll be fine." Orihime stared at the cocky grin stretched across his face for a moment. "W-Wait a minute! You…You bastard! You knew that I…" She shook her head violently. "No. That…That's not why my nose was bleeding. It's…um…the sand. All the sand here. It…clogs up…something…er…"

He stepped in front of her and grabbed her waist, pulling her up against him. "The sand huh?" Suddenly his lips dropped to place a kiss on her neck.

Orihime squeaked and jumped in his arms, sniffing up the blood she could feel starting to trickle down. _H-How did the tables get turned like this?_

Ichigo lifted his head to grin down at her. "So, shall we seal this contract with a kiss?"

"Eh?! K-K-K-Kiss?!" _Wh-When did he become so…so…_ Her thoughts didn't have time to find the word before his lips were suddenly on hers. Kissing her. Wrapping his arms around her, pressing her harder against his bare chest. She felt along his muscular chest, wrapping her arms around his neck as she lost herself in the kiss, all the old feelings surfacing in a rush. His tongue ran along her bottom lip and her mouth opened to him, pressing further into him.

His hands moved up her sides, his thumbs grazing her breasts. She felt her insides melt into hot liquid, her heart fluttered and pounded against her ribs. Orihime finally had to tear her lips from his, gasping for breath, but his mouth kept moving down her neck, trailing over her shoulder. Her hand slipped down to the middle of his chest, and she felt his heart beating as erratically as hers was.

"Ichigo…"

"Hm?"

"You…You planned all this from the very beginning didn't you? …The blogs…you planned it."

He sucked and bit on the skin at her neck, and she was sure he was leaving a mark there. "Yeah."

She grabbed his head and pulled him up to face her, looking into his brown eyes, a lump forming in her throat as she realized how much she'd missed those eyes. "Why?"

A corner of his mouth lifted and he kissed her on the lips. "I had to get you back. Whatever it took. Whether I could bring you back with me or if it meant me staying here. I swore to bring you back to me."

"That's…You're so conniving."

He let out a low chuckle against her cheek. "You're one to talk. Little Miss Queen of Hueco Mundo."

Orihime stilled against him. "Ichigo. I'm a traitor."

"I don't care."

"I'm the ruler of your enemies."

"I don't care."

"You're crazy."

"I know."

"Er, excuse me, Your Highness, but his shirt is clean."

They lifted their heads towards the doorway where Ulquiorra stood with the white t-shirt folded neatly in his hands.

"Burn it," Orihime commanded.

Green eyes blinked. "Your Highness?"

Ichigo smirked over her head. "You heard her."

"Uh, okay." Ulquiorra hesitated, and then finally turned and left.

"What's he gonna think?"

Orihime cuddled into his warm chest. "I don't care."

"By the way…" Ichigo ran his hand up and down her back. "I went to an awful lot of trouble killin' that guy for you. I don't know how I feel about you bringin' him back like that."

She kissed his chest. "Oh he's relatively harmless. He just follows whoever rules this place. Other than that he…well, he keeps himself busy."

Ichigo guessed at what she meant. "I never would've pegged him as a pitcher for the other team."

"Really? I got the vibe when I first met him."

"Oh?"

"It was pretty easy. I mean, who else puts _that_ much makeup on everyday and keeps their clothes _that_ meticulous?"

Ichigo blinked. "Wait…that green stuff is his makeup?"

"And all the white stuff. His skin isn't actually that pale."

Ichigo let out a low whistle.

Orihime hugged him tighter. "I missed you." And she felt his muscles tense at her sudden confession.

"God," he whispered into her hair. "You don't know how much I missed you." He grasped her chin in his hand and kissed her and she felt everything he was feeling in that kiss. It overwhelmed her and sent her heart racing so fast it didn't take long before she couldn't breathe anymore.

"Ichigo…" She tried to pull away, but he laughed and kissed her again. She giggled against his mouth. "I-Ichigo, I can't breathe."

He backed them against the couch. "You don't need…to breathe… You've got…me," he told her in between kisses. She laughed as they fell down on the cushions. "I'm your servant, remember? Contract sealed with a kiss. I'll serve you whatever you need. Including air."

She smiled up at him as her fingers threaded through his hair. "So you're gonna take my breath away and then give it back to me?"

"Somethin' like that, yeah."

Suddenly she stopped and her face fell as she ran her hand down the side of his face. "Ichigo…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Ichigo leaned down and kissed her. "Hush you. Queens don't apologize."

Orihime smiled at him with a quirked eyebrow. "Queens also don't end up underneath their servants."

"Really?" Ichigo grinned down at her. "Our bad."

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See what I mean?? It can't decide what it wants to be DX Crack? Fluff? IDEK! How did it get so lovey dovey all of a sudden? I DON'T KNOW xDD But it's off my chest now. *waves farewell to cantankerous fic*


	23. Just Another Day

Welp, trying something different. First-person pov DDD: I dun like it XD But thought I'd try it again because I have this weird habit of automatically writing from Ichigo's POV. Which is downright odd since I relate to Orihime more...so this is forcing me to do all of it from Orihime's POV. Just a short, cutesy lil thing. Have a great Valentine's weekend everyone! (Or, even better, OLYMPICS! W00t! I love watching people exert themselves while I lay around on the couch with my Pringles). Hopefully I'll get out a couple of oneshots on Valentine's day. One for the smutty set and another for this one.

Anyway, I don't think I got her right...I need way more practice with this *walloping sweatdrop*

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_Just Another Day in K-Town_

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I'm a normal, everyday, run-of-the-mill teenage girl. Fifteen…whoops! _Sixteen_ year old girl, actually. I have a cozy home. Good food. Great friends. Decent grades. A high school crush. The whole package, you know? Couldn't be happier in my normal, average life.

Well…I mean, I live alone in a cozy apartment. My food isn't considered good by most. My friends aren't great, they're awesome superheroes (I admit, I have a pretty wild imagination, but this time it's reality). I'm third in my class (though most seem surprised by that for some reason). And my crush isn't a crush; I'm madly, irrevocably, helplessly, eternally in love.

I know every teen girl has that crush that they claim is "mad, irrevocable, helpless, eternal love", but you know what? Sometimes that claim is right. And one of those times is now.

And I suppose by most standards, my life is definitely neither normal nor run-of-the-mill. But it _is_ starting to go back to that. As much as a life can go back to being normal after being kidnapped and saving the world. Oh, I wasn't the only one! (I mean, I was the only one kidna- well…I wasn't exactly kidnapped…more like forced free-will…because given the choice to either live and have all your friends die or go sit on a plush, white couch so they could live… What would you do? Exactly.) All my superhero friends were in on it. I really didn't do much. He – er, they really did it all.

Eh heh…you noticed that little slip up did you? Well…yeah, it's a he. My crush. Of course. I suppose it wouldn't be a girl or an elephant. But…well…just _him_. You know? He's so…_him_.

He has this manly exterior that scowls and growls, but underneath his heart is massive. Like a blimp – filled with courage, care, and selflessness. And he can be so adorably dorky sometimes. Like when he gets mad and starts shouting and flailing all over the place. Or when his eyes get as wide as a kid's on Christmas morning at the sight of chocolate. So cute! He's so caring of his friends and family even though he pretends he isn't. He risked everything to save two girls he barely knew. A part of his soul became the shinigami's enemy and the thing that killed his mother for us – an even worse version of it came forth because of me. He should blame me for that, but he never does. He said it was worth it to keep his friends safe and when I still looked worried he asked me whether I wouldn't do the same. He had a point.

His family adores him, his friends adore him, I…well, you know how I feel about him.

Oh goodness! I'm rambling on about my favorite subject. Sorry! And there's so much more I could say about him! He really is pretty wonderful. He's not perfect…he can be over-protective, sometimes lets his temper get the best of him, and in many ways he's still just a little boy with big boy powers. But all that is part of what makes him wonderful… at least to me.

"Hey Orihime."

My head snapped up from where it was lying on the grass, and I looked towards where the deep, familiar voice came from. His back was to the sun, lighting up his honey hair, but I couldn't see his face. "Hi Ichigo," I smiled up at him, drawing my knees up to my chest and hoping a blush wouldn't start creeping over my face and tell the tale that I'd just been thinking about him. I watched his head look around and then he plopped down next to me, leaning back onto his hands. Now I could see his face and watched as he closed his brown eyes, and he seemed to take in the stillness of the sun and the river. I'd noticed him doing a lot of that lately. Stopping and taking in…well, life in general. I guess we were all doing that sort of thing since we got back, though.

I had just decided to take the hint and stay silent when he spoke up, his eyes still closed. "Orihime, what are you doing for the rest of your life?"

Okay, _now_ my cheeks were being flooded with the pesky red stuff. I think I know what he meant, but, at least to this crushing high school girl, it really, _really_ sounded like he was asking me to marry him – his eyes suddenly shot open and a blush quickly swept over the tops of his cheeks. He must've just realized what that sounded like.

"I-I mean, what, uh…what are you doing, you know, after high school and everything…"

I tried to laugh lightly, hoping it didn't sound too nervous, and copied his style of sitting casually and closed my eyes so I wouldn't look at the extremely attractive (Oh, did I not mention he's hot? Yeah, that doesn't hurt. Not one bit.) boy next to me and get all flustered as I tried to answer him. "I'm not sure. I mean…I feel like there's too much I want to try, too much I want to do. I don't even know where to begin to pick out a major for university. I just feel like life is way too short for all the amazing things one person is capable of doing…" I stopped myself before I continued rambling too much. "What about you, Ichigo?" My eyes opened to look over at him and I was surprised to see him laying on his side, his head propped up on his hand as he looked at me with the strangest expression on his face, almost as if he was studying me…but why on earth would he want to do a thing like that?

"I guess I was hoping you'd tell me."

"Me?" I squeaked.

"Yeah. I'm not really sure either…" He dropped his eyes and began pulling at the grass. "I guess there's the whole shinigami job, and it really suits me…fighting, protecting, that sorta thing. But I can't help but feel there's more for me out there than just this. Heh, I guess that sounds greedy, doesn't it?"

I pushed back that flustered feeling when his fiery brown eyes lifted back up to mine, and my eyes quickly dropped back down to study my skirt. "No, I don't think it sounds greedy at all. I think we all feel that way, really. Even with all our powers, we still want a somewhat normal life… I mean, we'll have plenty of time to be shinigami when we die. Why not do something else while we're here?"

The silence stretched, and I began to wonder if I'd said something wrong. Finally, I dared to look up at him and my heart nearly jumped out of my throat at the smile that was on his face. Gah! Don't do that! I need some kind of warning before you smile like that!

"Yeah, I guess you're right." He lay back down and closed his eyes again, much to my heart's relief, but then a smirk tugged at his lips. "'Course, I don't how Ishida'd feel about becoming a shinigami."

I smiled at the thought. "Well, no matter how much he protests, he'd want to be with his friends, so I'm sure he'd find a loophole somewhere to make him and his father satisfied."

Ichigo laughed. Oh wow, that doesn't happen often, and there goes my heart again. This can't be healthy.

"Yeah, I'm sure he would." He cracked an eye open to glance at me. "What, uh…what do you think of Ishida?"

"Eh?"

"Uh…damn it, sorry…stupid question. I just…"

Why was he blushing? Curious… "Um, no it's not a stupid question." Even though I have no idea why you're asking it. "Hm, well he's my friend and I like him of course." Was Ichigo all right? He suddenly looked as stiff as a board… "But…I do worry about him. He tends to cut off from people. Maybe he needs a girl in his life." I watched the muscle in his jaw jump around sporadically. "I used to think he liked Rukia!" His eyes snapped open. "But I think I might have been wrong about that…" Suddenly I had an idea. "Wait a second! What about Nemu? Yeah, Nemu!" I turned eagerly to face him. "What do you think? Do you think there might be something between him and Nemu?"

He blinked at me. "Nemu?"

"Yeah! Or not…I could be wrong…but they do look so cute together!"

"Um…" Slowly, a smile started creeping over his face. Well, at least I had a little more warning this time. "Nemu. Yeah sure, why not."

"Really? Hm, but it might be difficult since she's in Soul Society and he's here…"

His face was stretched out in a full blown grin this time and he stretched out in the grass, his body completely relaxed again. "I'm sure he'll find a loophole."

I giggled. "Yeah." Suddenly I realized how low the sun was. "Oh! I didn't realize how late it was! I need to get home and get dinner started." I started to push off the ground when something warm pressed over my hand on the grass. I turned around and my mouth fell open to see it was his hand over mine. His hand…on…mine… I could feel all the little circuits in my brain exploding all at once.

"Stay."

His eyes were burning into mine. "Okay." I mean really, what else could a girl do when eyes like that were _burning_ into her.

"I'll treat you to ramen later."

"Eh? Oh! No, you don't have to I-" His thumb slowly dragged over the back of my hand and electricity shot up my arm, effectively robbing me of all breath and vocal capabilities.

"I want to."

"O-Okay." If he would have told me to jump into the river at that moment, I probably would have agreed to it.

"Actually," he sat up, releasing my hand and making it feel very cold and alone. "Why don't we go now? I'm starved."

I nodded and started to stand up when a hand appeared in front of my face. I looked from his long fingers to his scowling face and bit my lip as I grabbed the warm hand, letting him pull me up to my feet. When I expected his hand to loosen, it tightened around mine and he walked forward. As I followed my brain tried to comprehend that he was holding my hand.

We were walking and holding hands, on our way to eat dinner together.

Oh crap.

Does he even realize he's holding my hand? Maybe I should tell him… I don't think he'd want to hold hands with a girl who wasn't his girlfriend.

Or maybe not… Maybe I could be selfish just for a bit. Because his hand is so warm and the warmth spreading from my hand all throughout my body feels really nice.

So, for just a bit longer…forgive me Ichigo, I'll be a little selfish.

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	24. Entertaining and Angel

All righty, can't sleep so I'm going through a bunch of old and unfinished stuff I have laying around in Word and this is the oldest. One of my AU ideas that died. I thought I'd just make a short story of it instead of a long chapter fic, but I hit a brick wall and now I can't even stretch it out to a short story. SO, I thought I'd still share it with you guys and maybe you can give me inspiration to finish this and make a little series of it in here. Seriously, most of my inspiration comes from you guys and your reviews. I literally could not do it without you. Sometimes its the most obscure things you say that give me an idea xD So tell me you love it, tell me I'm crazy and ask me what the hell I'm smokin' coming up with this. Whatever you want.

For those who are waiting on _Night and Day_ update: I'm not abandoning it! I swear! The problem is I have so many ideas for where I WANT to take this and many moments in my head and in writing that are for way in the future, but I'm having trouble fleshing it out and finding the right paths to get me to where I want to go. So just bear with and I really appreciate you guys being patient and continuing to support me *hugs*

**Warnings:** AU

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_Entertaining an Angel_

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"Mornin' Ichigo! Got ya seat right over here!"

Ichigo Kurosaki groaned at the grinning blonde waving at him, wishing he could bury himself in the golden plated ground as the whole room turned to look at him. "Shinji," he growled under his breath, waving him off.

"Name," a nasally voice impatiently demanded.

He turned to the short, wrinkly woman sitting in a tall white chair at the elaborate, Victorian desk. She wore a crisp white suit, and her hair was pulled back into a severe bun, giving her eyebrows a permanent lift.

"Ichigo Kurosaki," he grunted.

She mumbled to herself as her finger ran down the page of the thick book in front of her. A grunt of discovery escaped her thin lips and she reached into the desk to pull out a silver paper with a large, white '15' inscribed on it. "Take it and have a seat."

"Thanks." Ichigo stuffed it in the pocket of his slim, white trousers and sauntered over to his overly excited friend, plopping down onto the white folding chair.

"Hey you, where've you been?! You were almost too late! They're already at number 12!"

Ichigo slouched into his chair, resting his head on the back, and closed his eyes. "So? I made it didn't I?"

"Hn?" Shinji leaned in to examine his friend. "Shouldn't you be more excited, Mr. Man of the Hour? Since you graduated early, you'll probably get someone important! Like…the President! Or no, even better, a supermodel!"

Ichigo cracked an eye open to see Shinji sitting there with his hands clasped, eyes shining. "Your priorities are screwed up. But…" He stretched his legs out and brought his hands up behind his head. "You're right. I'll probably get somebody of real importance. Nothing less than the Prime Minister or the Pope."

Shinji raised an eyebrow at his talented friend's cocky grin. "You'd choose a rickety old man in a funny hat over a supermodel?"

"Shinji, the supermodel wouldn't even know you were there. Besides, it's way too big of a temptation for you. Didn't you just get out of one hundred years of incarceration for falling for a human?"

The blonde angel sighed. "Yeah…but at least she'd be easier on the eyes."

Ichigo rolled his eyes.

A booming voice filled the room. "Number 13."

Shinji bounced out of his chair. "That's me! Wish me luck!"

"Yeah, good luck." Ichigo watched him saunter up the aisle to the elaborate podium where the archangel Gabriel stood with stacks of files. Yes, he was definitely up for a big name job. Today was his first guardian assignment and then archangel status was as simple as an elevator ride away. He'd been at the top of his class, excelling in every area. There was no way he wouldn't be the one standing at that podium someday. Just give him a chance to take a crack at Lucifer and this whole war would be over in a snap.

A minute later Shinji came back up the aisle, his shoulders slumped and tears rolling down his face.

"Who'd you get?" Ichigo asked after number fourteen was called to the front.

Shinji sniffled and wiped his face with the sleeve of his white jacket. "Th-The Po-ho-hooope," he sobbed.

"The Pope?" Ichigo blinked. "No way."

Shinij nodded as he fell into the chair next to Ichigo's with a dejected plop. "H-He said I was too good to be given a small assignment and they figured I wouldn't fall for the pope."

Ichigo patted Shinji on the shoulder unsympathetically. "It'll be okay."

"Number 15," Gabriel boomed.

Shinji waved a handkerchief at Ichigo as he made his way towards the front. His heart started beating in excited anticipation. Who could it be? Definitely a world leader. But which one? He reached the front and Gabriel glanced at him with his startling sapphire eyes. "Hm, Ichigo Kurosaki…" He flipped through a file, checking its contents, and then handed it down to Ichigo. "Here's your first assignment. Orihime Inoue."

Ichigo frowned as he took it. "Orihime Inoue?" he repeated. Who was she? He searched his brain. He didn't think there were any world leaders named that. Perhaps a wife or a daughter? Surely not something as obscure as a cousin or niece! He flipped it open, only glancing at the small photo clipped to the top of the form before searching for her address. "Eh?!" he suddenly exclaimed. He looked up at the massive angel in confusion. "Sh-She's just a normal schoolgirl! There has to be some mistake!"

The archangel shook his head. "No mistake."

"But…But how on earth can she…she's just…a normal girl!" he repeated.

Gabriel narrowed his eyes at Ichigo. "These assignments come directly from the Father." He leaned down ominously. "Are you questioning God, _rookie_?"

"Uh, n-no…I just-"

"Good." Gabriel returned to his files, but then studied the younger angel for a moment. "You'd best remember that pride was what put Lucifer in his position. This should be a good lesson for you. Now, hurry and go. Her last guardian angel is already in recuperation and she needs another right away. Don't delay!"

The last words boomed throughout the room and Ichigo nodded and quickly, but with drooped shoulders, walked back to where Shinji stood waiting.

"What was that all about?"

Ichigo didn't say a word, but just slammed the file into Shinji's chest and continued walking. Shinji followed him as he opened it. "Wha-What is this?! She's so pretty! No way! This isn't fair!"

Ichigo snatched back his file before Shinji could soak it in his tears. "No. It's not fair. You've got the Pope, for God's sake, and I have a nobody!"

"But she's so cute!"

"Who cares?! She's a nobody!" Ichigo opened the file back up to scour it for some kind of clue that maybe she was important. Even in the smallest way. Maybe this was a test of some sort. Gabriel had insinuated that he was too prideful. Maybe she was really very important… Suddenly he stopped in his path, his face deadpanning. "Shinji."

"Hm?"

He held out his hand. "Give me back her photo."

"Aww," Shinji whined as he slapped it back into Ichigo's hand. "But you're gonna get to see her twenty-four seven! I'm gonna be so lonely surrounded by nothing but smelly old men!"

"Don't rub it in," he grumbled, stepping to the edge of the golden road and snapping his fingers so the clouds off the edge separated to form an open square.

"What? You're leaving already?"

"Yeah, she needs a guardian angel right away." He stopped and frowned as his expansive, white wings shot out from his back. "Apparently the last guy is recuperating…why would he be…" Finally he shrugged it off, figuring the last angel was just a dud.

"Have fun you lucky dog you."

"Yeah, whatever. Don't let the Pope die on your watch." With that, Ichigo jumped off the ledge, soaring towards Karakura Town, Japan. It really didn't get anymore ordinary than that.

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"Owie…" Orihime rubbed at her forehead that had just made a dramatic acquaintance with the light pole in front of her.

"Jeez, Orihime," Tatsuki called behind her, turning to shake her head at her friend. "What is with you the past couple of days? You're even more clumsy than usual!"

"Eh heh heh heh," Orihime nervously laughed. "Sorry, Tatsuki!"

"Baka," Tatsuki grumbled as she waited for her friend to catch up. "Don't be sorry, just watch where you're going!"

Orihime smiled cheerily at her as they fell in step. She didn't know why she'd been so clumsy either. Usually she had more narrow escapes than actual accidents, but lately she'd been hitting every obstacle that jumped in her way. Orihime looked down at the ground, watching the cracks pass by under her feet as they walked in silence. Well, anyhow, she thought, she needed to be more careful so that Tatsuki wouldn't worry about her.

Her path suddenly changed from concrete to asphalt as she stepped onto the street, and all of a sudden she caught a flash of light in the corner of her eye right before the sound of squealing wheels reached her ears.

"Oh!"

"Orihime!"

She felt Tatsuki grab her arm as she stared at the car that had just missed hitting her, swerving just in time. The driver, a balding, rotund man, struggled out of his little car and began cursing and shaking his fist at her.

"G-Gomen!" Orihime cried, bowing low at the waist.

But the man wouldn't be satiated and yelled louder. Tatsuki barked at him before whispering to Orihime. "Come on, let's get out of here."

"But-" Tatsuki was already yanking her away as the man continued with a string of curses.

"Damn it, Orihime! Watch where you're going! That was too narrow of an escape!"

"Gomen, Tatsuki!"

Tatsuki sighed and linked her arm in Orihime's. "Just come along."

Orihime felt terrible for causing such trouble, but then she'd actually had a narrow escape! She breathed a sigh of relief even as she made a firm promise to herself to be more attentive.

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Ichigo sighed heavily, glaring at the infuriated man, wishing he could put a lightning bolt through his engorged stomach. But the glare seemed to work a little as the man suddenly shut up, blinked, and meekly sat back in his car for reasons unknown to him, and with the distinct feeling that he should start driving slower.

Ichigo ruffled his hair and stuck his hands in the pockets of his white pants, strolling after the two girls, his wings retracted. Honestly, that man had been driving too fast, but what was that girl thinking just stepping out into the street like that? So _that's_ why the other angel was out of commission, if what the black-haired girl was saying was true. Looks like he has his work cut out for him.

As the girls chattered ahead, he took the time to look around. "Aah, so boring here," he grumbled quietly. Plain, small town. Nothing exciting. No major demon stronghold to fight. No important human to protect. Just this little girl and this little town. He tossed a glare heavenward and then turned his attention to his assignment.

He watched her smile and laugh at her friend, her long hair swinging down her back. Shinji was right. She was definitely pretty, but – "Oi!" he yelled even though she couldn't hear him. He flashed in front of her and snapped his fingers in her face, causing her to jolt and barely avoid the pole she'd been about to walk into.

"Ooh," Tatsuki exclaimed. "You avoided it!" She laughed and patted Orihime on the head. "Way to go, doofus."

Orihime laughed and sheepishly rubbed at the back of her head.

Ichigo sighed again and fell in step beside her. Good Lord, she was a handful. Pretty, but what an airhead! Well, at least one part of his job wouldn't be boring. Minutes later they finally reached the school. A large building, but plain of course. Students milled about, their prattle filling the air with noise. He nodded to the various guardians that were standing about with their assignments. All of them much less qualified than himself most likely.

He sighed again. Well, he wasn't much better than them right now, was he?

"Orihime-chaaan!"

His head snapped to the high-pitched screeching, amazed to see a boy running towards her, his face alight with joy and his eyes…staring right at the girl's breasts. Ichigo scowled and stuck out his white shoe, tripping the pervert and sending him crashing to the floor before he could reach Orihime. He smirked as the kid groaned in pain. The boy's guardian, a tall, dark fellow, nodded and gave him a thumbs up of approval.

"Asano-kun!" Orihime cried. "Are you all right?"

Asano-kun looked up at her from the floor, rivers of tears falling down his cheeks. "O-Orihime-chan, you're so kind!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes and barely kept himself from stepping on the brunette's head. He glanced over at the girl whose eyes were filled with worry. Didn't she realize this guy was a pervert? Apparently he'd have to keep an eye out for those too.

"Orihime-chaaan!"

He groaned at the sight of a red-headed female dashing down the hallway. This girl sure did attract winners. He tripped her and she fell with a satisfying crash.

"Chizuru!" his charge cried. She bent down and grabbed the glasses that had danced across the glossy floor and handed them to the redhead. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry!"

Ichigo scowled at her. Why was she apologizing? He just saved her from this pervert!

"Oh, my princess is so sweet!" Chizuru quickly got up and dusted herself off, adjusting her glasses. "I'm perfectly fine as long as I'm with my sweet Hime-chan!"

Orihime smiled brightly at her. "Eh heh, I'm glad you're okay! The floors must be uneven right there or something."

Ichigo gaped at her as she went off, chatting happily with the two perverts that had just tried to molest her. Was she mental? He huffed and followed her to the classroom. The rest of the day passed with pretty much no event, but he was learning a few things about his charge. Surprisingly, she was a very smart student, although still pretty demented. Her notebook was covered in doodles of robots, aliens, and samurai. But she was friends with everyone and very well-liked. Most likely due to her overly kind nature.

She was very different from him that was for sure. Most of his classmates had been intimidated by him. But that was fine. He got through school faster than all of them, didn't he? And now he was out on assignment while they were still slaving over books. He definitely got the long end of the stick. And he was definitely not looking longingly at the scene in front of him with her surrounded by the circle of friends, talking and laughing. He didn't need that any of that mush.

Later on he decided he very much approved of this Tatsuki girl. She was a good friend. Maybe a little over-protective by some standards, but just about right for _his_ standards. Finally it was just the two of them in front of her apartment, Tatsuki had already left and Orihime was fumbling with her keys.

Ichigo sighed for the hundredth time that day when she shut the door and walked off without locking it. He waved his hand and the lock clicked into place.

"I'm home, nii-san!"

Ichigo started in surprise at her sudden greeting. Her profile had said that she lived alone but… Ah, she was kneeling in front of the little shrine for her brother. He remembered now that her brother had passed away some time ago. For a few minutes she animatedly told her brother how her day went.

"Ah! And it seems you won't have to worry about me anymore! I'm not as clumsy as I was yesterday and the day before! I'm seeing those light flashes again."

Ichigo's ears perked up at this. She could see him? Well, that wasn't all that uncommon. Many humans had more sensitivity to the spiritual world than others.

She laughed nervously. "Sometimes…Sometimes I imagine that it's you protecting me. And that maybe you went off for a bit of a vacation for a couple of days. I know I'm a real bother. I'm so terribly clumsy…"

He smiled a bit at that. So she realizes.

"Ano…"

Ichigo blinked rapidly as he watched her face fall. He hadn't seen this expression before. She looked…so sad… All day she'd been so chipper…and now all of a sudden…

"Eh heh, nevermind!" She ruffled the back of her hair, the cheerful expression back on her face, although Ichigo noticed the strain of forcing it this time. "Excuse me! I need to go make dinner now." She blew a kiss to the small photo, and got up, teetering a bit until Ichigo steadied her. Orihime laughed lightly. "Arigato, Light-san."

He was taken aback for a moment. Just how much of him could she see?

She sighed and touched her hand to her forehead. "Maybe I'm just going crazy."

Suddenly his heart ached for her and he had an almost overwhelming urge to show her that she wasn't crazy, but pulling a stunt like that would land him right back in heaven. And then he could kiss his archangel ambitions goodbye. He settled for watching her as she padded to the kitchen and began to prepare her dinner. His scowl deepened as she prepared the food. He wasn't all that familiar with human food, but some of this didn't seem particularly right. But she seemed to enjoy it, so whatever made her happy.

He leaned against the doorjamb and listened to the tune she was humming as she cut up the vegetables. It was a shame a nice girl like this lived all alone. He knew from her file that her parents had been lowlifes and that her brother had rescued her from that. But what of her relatives? How come they did nothing more than send her money? Rather cold of them, in his opinion.

"Itadakimasu!"

His brown eyes continued to study her as she cheerfully dug into her strange dinner, laughing out loud to the comedy on her small television. Strange girl, he decided.

An hour later, Ichigo found himself blushing madly for the first time in his angelic lifespan. They hadn't trained him on what to do when you're a guardian of the opposite sex and she's undressing! With arms crossed tightly and hunched back facing her, Ichigo groaned aloud as he listened to the swishing of fabric behind him. "Jeez, why didn't they give her a female angel? So embarrassing!"

A startled gasp sounded from behind him. "A-Ano…is someone there?"

His back stiffened and he glanced all around. Had he missed something? Was there an intruder?

"H-Hello?"

He dared to turn around and look at the girl. Her soulful eyes were wide, and she was trembling slightly as she clutched the lapels of her robe draped over her nightgown. Ichigo scowled, but he sensed nothing. Not a blip. _Huh, jumpy woman_. "Relax, no one's here except you and me, goofy girl."

He blinked in confusion as her eyes widened even further and she backed up until her ankles hit the futon on the floor. "Wh-Who said that? Who's there?"

_No way_. "You can hear me?" he asked, still not expecting a response from her since that was imposs –

"Hai! But…who…" Her eyes were wide and frightened as she searched the dim room. Ichigo moved in front of her and waved his hand over her face.

"Can you see me?"

Another light gasp. "L-Light-san!"

"Eh?"

"A-Ano…nice to meet you, Light-san." She looked towards the left of where he was standing. Could she only see him when he was moving? "I missed you these past of couple of days… But, this is the first we've spoken. Why?"

Ichigo blinked and stared at her silence, the seconds passing. Finally he sighed and ran his hand through his hair, walking towards her futon and plopping down on its edge. He heard her gasp and guessed she'd seen him again. He didn't know what to do. They'd never taught them what to do if they were seen and heard. "I'm not the same one from before. I'm your replacement. And I have no clue why you can see me."

"My replacement?" She blinked and started to sit down on her futon.

"Oi!" He grabbed her hips before she landed in his lap.

"Eya!" she cried, jumping and falling onto the futon. He reached out to help her and she gasped when she felt his touch.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"What…what do you mean replacement?" she asked as she tried to right herself.

He sighed again. What else was he to do besides tell the truth? It was their fault for not preparing him for something like this. And it wasn't as if he could lie. "Replacement as your guardian angel."

"G-Guardian angel?!"

"Yeah."

She stared in the general direction of where he was sitting. "I only sometimes see a light, but I f-felt your hands." Orihime clasped her hands in front of her and stared at them as a blush stained her cheeks.

"I don't know why that is. You're not even supposed to see me at all, much less hear me."

Silence stretched in the dim room.

"What happened to my last, um, guardian angel?"

"Uh, well…" Ichigo chuckled a little. "He's in recovery. Apparently protecting you is pretty hazardous even for an angel."

Her head snapped up to stare towards him, her eyes filled with worry and regret. "Oh no! Oh my goodness! Oh dear, I'm such a bother. I'm so sorry. Is he all right? Is he going to be okay? Is-"

"Hey, whoa, yeah. He'll be fine. Don't worry about it."

She bit her lip, her hands wringing together tightly in her lap. "Ano…maybe I shouldn't be guarded. It's too risky! What if you get hurt too?!"

Ichigo snorted. "I won't get hurt. I'm ten times better than that guy. Top of my class so you got nothing to worry about."

Her big grey eyes blinked rapidly. "Class? You have school in heaven?"

"Er…well…" How much should he be telling her? "Yeah…"

Her expressive face went vibrant with excited curiosity. "What's heaven like?"

"Uh…" He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Well, I'm not really sure whether I should tell you any of that… They don't exactly prepare us for this kind of thing, but I'm thinking that's probably against the rules. Somewhere."

"Oh I see. That's probably true." She stared dejectedly at the hands in her lap before eagerly looking up at him again. "Can you tell me what you look like?"

He sighed, already knowing he wouldn't be able to say no to that bright smile. "Well, I guess. Um…well…I have orange hair…"

"Really?" Her entwined hands were under her chin now. "Do all angels have orange hair?"

"Er, no. I'm the only one as far as I know." She made a sound of awe and he continued. "Uh…brown eyes, six foot tall, umm…that's about it I guess."

"Hmm," she hummed thoughtfully, a slight frown appearing on her face. "I like your voice. It sounds grumpy," she said with a happy grin.

"Grumpy? You like my voice because it sounds grumpy?" he asked incredulously.

She nodded enthusiastically. "It's very soothing."

He cocked his head and studied her for several moments. "You're an odd girl."

Orihime laughed lightly. "Yeah, people tell me that a lot. Um…" The frown was back on her face. "W-Would you like some tea? Do angels drink tea?"

"No," he replied shortly, annoyed with himself for carrying on a conversation with this girl as long as he had. "Thanks," he said, trying to remedy her disappointed face.

"Well…is there anything I can do? Do you need anything?"

He sighed and shook his head. "No. Orihime, I'm here to protect you. You don't need to do anything. You shouldn't even know that I'm here."

"Oh." Her hands were wringing again and he rolled his eyes.

"Okay, fine. You can do something for me."

She lifted eager eyes. "Really?"

"Go to sleep."

"Eh?"

"It's late. You need to go to sleep."

"Oh…okay…" She stood up and walked around to other side of the futon, pulling back the covers, and finally settling in. "Um…do you need a place to sleep?"

"I don't sleep."

"Oh…well, good night then."

"Good night."

He watched her eyes close and waved his hand to shut off the light that she'd forgotten in her haste to follow his request. Ichigo walked over the nearest wall and settled down against it, watching her as sleep slowly began to overtake her. _What_ had God been thinking is what he wanted to know. Was there some grand cosmic reason or was God just being meddlesome again?

He sighed and let his head fall back onto the wall. If angels could get headaches he was sure he'd have a monster one right now.

Well, at least his assignment was challenging.

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Here's a hit the giant brick wall. And you know what the hardest part of that was? Writing an Ichigo that doesn't curse XD DAMN that's hard! And I think Shinji was more in Keigo's character......OH WELL 8D

Pretty _City of Angels_-ish... *shrug*


	25. Ichigo's Bits

Don't mind me, just running by with this silly thing I jotted down in about 15 minutes. I literally woke up and had the urge to write about Ichigo's bits. That should probably disturb me.

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_Ichigo's bits_

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"What the fuck does she mean by going away to _find herself_?!"

Rukia calmly sipped from her clay mug, her eyebrow curiously quirked at the ranting boy who had barged into her quarters on what had been a peaceful Sunday afternoon. Her eyes were purposefully set to look bored, but traces of sympathy could be found in her blue depths if one looked close enough. He couldn't stop raking his hand through his unruly orange hair as he paced back and forth. She opened her mouth to speak, but he was off again.

"Didn't she already go away and _find herself_" – again, he spat out the words again as if they were poison – "when she was at Hueco Mundo? Wasn't that enough _going away_ for one girl?" He suddenly stopped and turned to face the woman who had resumed drinking her tea and held out his palms imploringly. "_Well_?"

Rukia set down her tea with the calm grace her brother demanded and folded her arms over her chest. "Who are we talking about again?"

"_Inoue_!" he shouted.

"Ah. Well, more importantly, what do you mean by bursting into my quarters without invitation?"

His mouth dropped open and then a shaking, accusatory finger was stuck in her direction. "_You're one to talk!_"

She sighed patiently. "If you don't keep it down you're going to bring Kenpachi-taichou here."

Ichigo paled and dropped his finger.

"You shouldn't be so selfish. Haven't you grown up at all these past couple of years?"

He blinked at her and then his face began to turn red as his body shook in anger. "Dammit, midget, you-"

"I think she can go a while longer without experiencing the overrated wonders of what lies underneath that hakama."

His face was becoming more of a purple now, although for an entirely different reason. "What the fuck do you mean overrated?" was his first concern because, after all, a man is measured by the reputation of his penis.

Rukia's eyes lifted to the ceiling in contemplation. "Actually, I suppose it does have more of a realistic reputation."

"Eh?!"

"Yes, you see…" She coughed delicately. "You're zanpakuto is rather large so…well, we all figured you were compensating for something."

He gaped at her as his eye twitched, and suddenly manly ego overtook embarrassment. "I'll prove to you I'm not compensating!" And before she could utter a sound (and thereby alert him of the men coming up behind him), he grabbed his obi and in two seconds flat his hakama was dropped to the floor and he planted his hands on his hips, presenting himself for her scrutiny, a cocky smirk on his face.

Somehow, Rukia retained her composure, only a slight blush appearing over her cheeks, and tilted her head to the side to seriously evaluate it. Surprisingly, he was, in fact, not compensating. But as if she'd ever tell him that. "Hmm," she said as she stifled a yawn.

Renji clapped him on the shoulder, causing Ichigo to nearly jump from his skin and he was about to bend down and quickly retrieve his pants when Byakuya appeared on his other side, gliding into the room and glancing at Ichigo's bits.

The captain snorted quietly and his lips quirked in the smallest of mocking smiles before returning to the normal state of placidity.

Renji leaned around to look at the teen's package which was frequently a part of the Sereitei rumor mill. He raised his tattooed eyebrows and scratched at his chin, making a humming, grunting sound that meant absolutely nothing to Ichigo. "Well…I've seen bigger."

Ichigo gaped, and Renji smirked.

"In fact, I have bigger. Want to see?"

This time Rukia was blushing madly as she tried to busy herself with arranging her perfectly arranged tea set.

Before Ichigo had a chance to yell out an empathic decline and pull his pants up, a familiar, warm reiastu suddenly wrapped around him, followed by a cheerful voice. "Ohayou!"

He wanted desperately to move, but he couldn't. Renji had a firm grasp on his shoulders, keeping him upright.

Orihime bounded into the room, greeting all the occupants as they silently waited in anticipation when she would finally notice that below the waist Ichigo was completely –

"Oh!"

Ichigo's first thought was to wonder what the hell she was doing in Soul Society. His second thought was to realize, oh yeah, she and Rukia trained together on Sundays sometimes. And his third thought was to remember that he naked from the waist down and then he wished desperately that Kenpachi would choose that moment to barge in and end his life as the girl stood in the middle of Rukia's quarters, staring at his manly bits with a hand covering her o-shaped, rosy mouth, her eyes wide, and her cheeks blossoming with spots of red. Slowly her hands dropped from her mouth and her head fell to the side curiously, unable to tear her eyes from his naked crotch.

Finally, Ichigo found the strength and presence of mind to wrench his shoulders from Renji's grasp and yank up his hakama, quickly securing it back in place, because when she was looking at him like that and licking at her lips he had started to feel a hot twitch down below and then he might just spontaneously combust from mortification right then and there if he allowed all to see the performance his penis was about to put on.

A heavy silence filled the room until Rukia finally broke it with a cough, deciding to risk inflating Ichigo's ego a bit for the sake of stirring up things that needed to be stirred up. "So, Orihime. After seeing that, are you _sure_ you still want to run off to America for university?"


	26. With You

Sorry, spamming you a bit again with probably the shortest thing I've ever written. We were watching _Troy _and when Achilles said to Briseis, "You brought me peace", I just had to type this out real quick. I'll go work on something better now... |D

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_With You_

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When my father named me, I was given my destiny; to protect.

My mother gave me the heart and will to protect.

The people around me and the enemies that sought to hurt them gave me reason and justification.

Kuchiki Rukia was a light in the dark world I had blindly and violently walked through by putting the sword in my hand and giving me the power and confidence to fight the worst of my enemies.

My nakama held up my weakening arms in battle whether I thought I needed it or not. And I now know that no matter what I am or what I become, they will always accept me and support me as their nakama.

And you…you ease my grip on the sword. You soothe my restless beast that burns to protect and fight as well as fuel it.

You bring me peace.

In a world of violent chaos, your gentleness brings me rest and hope and balance. You bring me laughter. And in your arms I find unwavering love.

With you, I can simply be.

…Orihime.


	27. Strawberries and Pringles

First off, thank you so much for all your reviews for the last drabble!!! I'm SO happy you guys liked it because it was the first time in a long time I've written something for Ichihime that I really loved (but I didn't want to say anything because then if you didn't like it I'd feel silly XD). I guess cause it briefly stated such a big part of why Ichihime makes me all gooey inside XD

Secondly, another fluffy, cutesy thing but from Ichigo's POV. Thought I'd try and merrr, I didn't get his voice right, but I'll try again eventually. If I worked on it more I might be able to get it right, but don't feel like it *shrug*. But maybe you'll at least enjoy the cuteness (hopefully it's not too fluffy o.0).

Thirdly, hey! Orihime is "Orihime I." instead of "Inoue O." Sweet beans.

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_Strawberries and Pringles_

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It's funny, I used to hate strawberries.

When you get called a fruit all the time because of your name, you tend to develop an acute aversion to them. But then when you get a girlfriend and said girlfriend washes her hair with strawberry shampoo, smoothes strawberry lotion over her skin, wears strawberry chapstick, and loves to eat strawberries and innocently does so in such a way that it become the most erotic thing you've ever seen in your life, you tend to start warming up to the things. In fact, the subtle scent of strawberries coming from the silky hair my nose was currently buried in was fucking intoxicating.

We were sitting against a tree, supposed to be watching the sunset or something, but I had more interest in studying the difference between my long legs and her lush legs curled up between them and the way the dusk light softly lit up her skin. Or the way her bubble toes would wiggle cutely once in a while. Or how the way she played with my fingers in her lap would send warm tingles up my arms and along my spine.

I wondered if she could feel my heart pounding against her back. Not that I have anything to hide from her, but it's still pretty embarrassing, you know? I haven't quite gotten a handle on the whole romance thing. Amazingly enough, I got a girl willing to put up with me. I've stumbled around trying to wax eloquent about my feelings a few times, but usually fail miserably. And then she always smiles like I've just handed her the world along with a few planets and kisses me making my brain shut down completely.

I _have_ written her a few things, letters and poems and whatnot. Writing's something I do pretty damn well. But they end up getting stuffed in the deepest, darkest corner of a drawer, never to see the light of day. One of these days I'll write one good enough for her. Or at least get up the courage.

Times like this one, just sitting here with her, were some of the best moments of my life. Everything was quiet and easy. No hollows, no Aizens, no shinigami. Just me and her.

And then there were the times she'd make me laugh so hard I nearly piss my pants. Sometimes she'd be trying to be funny and succeeding, more often than not she'd fail at being funny and that in and of itself was hilarious, and other times she wasn't trying at all and would look at me all wide-eyed and confused and slightly offended and very cute.

Other times she'd blindside me with some great insight told in that quirky way of hers.

At times she'd make me feel like I was king of the world, but then she wouldn't hesitate to scold me and bring me down to about the age of a five year old.

She makes my heart soar, she makes my bones melt, and as you can see, she makes me into some kind of sappy wuss.

But I don't really mind. What guy would with this girl in his arms?

"Ichi?"

And she was one of the very few people in this world that could get away with calling me that. Renji tried once after hearing her call me that and it earned him a broken nose. "Yeah?"

"What are you thinking about?"

I smiled into her hair and kissed her head. Easy enough to answer. "You."

"Eh?" She turned her head to look up at me with those big, sparkling eyes. "Me?"

One nice thing about having Orihime as my girlfriend is that I get to kiss her whenever I damn well please. Like right now, for instance. "Yup." Mm, strawberry chapstick again. "What about you? What were you thinking about?"

She licked at her lips making it extremely difficult to wait for her answer rather than dive in for another kiss.

"Same."

I had to grin at that and rubbed my nose along her soft cheek. "You were thinking about yourself?"

"N-No! You know what I meant, silly." She lightly swatted at my leg, but nuzzled in closer as I couldn't help but trail my lips down her cheek. She was addicting like that. Apparently I was the same to her. As she told me once, I was like Pringles. You know, once you pop you just can't stop? Of course the 'pop' part got my male brain going down all sorts of gutters and things that could be popped and my face went up in flames and she started asking me why I was blushing and I couldn't very well tell her and then the thought of telling her made my blushing even worse. It was a mess.

But anyway, I was back to kissing her. Which was easily at the top of my list of favorite things to do. The way she just always gave in and completely melted into me was incredible. Why the hell did she trust me so much?

And then pulling away from her kisses was becoming more and more of a Herculean effort. I don't think she quite realized why we shouldn't continue or what would happen if we did. I doubt it had quite sunk in. But it had definitely sunk in on my end. And although I wanted nothing more than to make her mine, it was too soon. I know most of my male comrades would laugh me out of town for this, but I wanted to slowly enjoy our relationship growing together. Or something. It sounds lame, but…what can I say? She makes me into a sappy wuss.

She wrapped her arms tightly around my neck and whispered those words into my ear and I always find myself able to easily whisper them back. Whisper them back confidently because I know I could never love any girl as much as I love this crazy, gentle, big-hearted, mecha loving, comedy addicted, day-dreaming, creative, adorable, wonderful girl.

And then I kissed her again. My amazing Pringles girlfriend.


	28. Surprise Visitor

Holycrapwhatisthis? An update from me? Is the sky falling too? Sorry about the lack of updates. Been super busy and had major writer's block :/ But today in between studying and packing I had the urge to write something, much to my amazement! And um, it's been forever since I've written and finished something, so...yeah...don't expect much XD It feels good to publish something again anyway. But hope you enjoy! Good luck with finals for those who have them!

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_Surprise Visitor Gets Suprised_

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Rukia stepped out of the portal and deeply breathed in the living world air as the doors slid shut and faded out behind her. _Finally_ she'd been able to get leave. Getting third seat had been a great honor, but it sure did eat up her free time. She hadn't even realized she'd _had_ free time before this. She gracefully tapped her feet onto the light pole and let her eyes roam over the city of Karakura Town. Where to go first?

She grinned. Ichigo's. As she pushed off the perch and soared and bounced towards his house, she contemplated the perfect entrance. Should she go for dramatic? Scare him? A casual entrance? Hmm…

Her feet lit on the Kurosaki's front stoop, and she rung the doorbell. She'd be polite at first and greet his family. Yuzu answered the door and squealed as she pressed the back of her wooden spoon to her mouth. After a hard back pat from Karin and some wild antics and a spine-cracking hug from Isshin, she crept her way up the steps.

At his door she came to another dilemma. Rukia cocked her head to the side and stared thoughtfully at the "15" hanging on his door. To knock or not to knock? Not knocking might lead to some deliciously embarrassing situations. And knocking seemed rather silly when she used to live there. So! No knocking it is.

"Stop lying to me!"

Rukia's hand froze above the doorknob at the angry shout from inside. Someone was in there with Ichigo? Who was he yelling at? Her eyebrows furrowed. He didn't sound like his usual temperamental angry; he sounded genuinely furious. What –

"Why do you suddenly care what I do?" a female voice yelled back. "Or say! Why all of this all of a sudden?! Why can't you just be your usual oblivious self to anything and everything _besides_ yourself?!"

Deep violet eyes flew wide open. Squeezed shut as she gave her head a few good shakes. And then they were wide open again. Orihime…?

Rukia silently laughed at herself and shook her head again. No that's silly. There's no way Orihime would –

"You know, I could say the same about you!" Ichigo shot back. "How could you be _so _oblivious that you didn't think that I knew or that I wouldn't even care?! Or is it that you _do_ know? Is it that this is just another one of your manipulations to get me jealous?"

Manipulations? That _has _to be someone else other than Orihime. Which…didn't make things any better because the only person Ichigo should be getting jealous about is Orihime.

A short, harsh laugh interrupted her thoughts. "Manipulations? Jealous? Are you _really_ that self-centered? Is it _so _inconceivable to you that I might fall for someone else? God knows I _should_ fall for him. He pays attention to me. He _looks_ at me." Another short, humorless laugh. "See what's happened to me? I've become so pathetic that all I need is for a man to _look _at me and I'm happy."

Rukia's hand found itself clutching the fabric at her chest. This couldn't be happening. She was having a bad dream. She had yet to wake up and go to the living world. It was the product of too much sake with Renji, Rangiku, and the others last night. That's all this is.

"…So you _haven't_ fallen for him."

Rukia's heart lurched at the rough hurt in his voice laced with a string of hope and poorly covered up with fading anger.

Orihime must have noticed it too because her voice lost some of the harsh edge. "…I don't know. I might…No…I think I already have."

Rukia felt her heart starting to crumble.

The silence that followed almost killed her and then she heard heavy footsteps before Ichigo's voice was there again, rougher, angrier, and more agonized. "You don't mean that. You still love me. I _know_ you do."

"Y-You're hurting me."

"Say it! Say you don't love me anymore!" Rukia waited for Orihime's answer with her eyes squeezed shut. "You can't do it!" he burst out triumphantly. Desperately. "You can't say it!"

"…No. I can't do this anymore. It's over –"

Rukia couldn't take it anymore and burst through the door with a shout. "No! It's not over! Stop it you two! Just stop it!"

Ichigo and Orihime blinked at her with wide eyes as Ichigo's rough hold on Orihime's arms loosened.

"I don't know what's going on, but you two can work this out! You _have _to!" She turned wild eyes to Orihime as she blinked back threatening tears. "I don't know who this guy is and I know you're confused, but you can't give up on you two like this! Even though he's an idiot, he loves you! It can't end like this!" Rukia turned angry eyes to Ichigo and pointed her finger at him. "And you. You idiot, use your head once in a while and pay more attention! I don't know what's going between you guys, but fix it! Fix it right this instant!"

Her chest rose and fell as they continued to blink owlishly at her. Orihime was the first to look away and at Ichigo. Her hand rose to touch her fingertips to her bottom lip, and Ichigo turned to look at her while shoving his hands in his pockets as Orihime inquired, "Were we really that convincing?"

Ichigo's mouth quirked up slightly. "I guess so. All the practice has been worth it, ne?"

Orihime smiled big and nodded. "Hai."

Rukia blinked.

The smile that he had started to return fell away when he glanced down at her arms and noticed the red finger-shaped markings. "Aw, shit, Orihime." He gently ran his hands over the injuries he'd inflicted. "I'm sorry. I got too into it again."

Rukia narrowed her eyes.

Orihime shook her head and playfully tapped at his nose. "I'm not a tea cup. It doesn't hurt, and it's good to let yourself get into it."

"What the _hell_ is going on?!" she yelled with her hands placed firmly on her hips.

Ichigo and Orihime jumped at the sudden shout from a very angry and confused shinigami.

"Oh!" Orihime turned towards her with a whirl and bowed low. "I'm so very sorry, Rukia-chan!"

Ichigo rubbed at the back of his head sheepishly. "Yeah, sorry to freak you out, Rukia."

Rukia's eye twitched as her brain tried to wrap around the situation. "Stop apologizing and just tell me what on earth is going on! You two nearly gave me a heart attack!"

They glanced at each other and then Orihime spoke. "Ano…well, we somehow ended up in the school play and so we were practicing our roles."

"Play?" she repeated.

"Yeah," Ichigo said. "You know, like those things you were reading through in my books that-"

"I know what a play is!" she grouched. "But what kind of crazy, over-dramatic play is this?!"

"Ano…" Orihime scratched at the back of her head. "But do you think we were good? I mean…you really thought we were fighting?"

"Tch, I thought you guys were _you guys_ and I was still convinced, so yes, I suppose you…were good," she replied with a weary droop of her shoulders.

"Yatta!" Orihime cried as Ichigo grinned arrogantly.

Rukia shook her head and trudged over to Ichigo's bed, groaning as she fell back onto it. "I came here for a vacation and look what happens. I feel as if I just ran a marathon."

"Off the bed."

Rukia lifted her head and eyebrow as she glared at Ichigo. "The least you can do is let me lie down without grumping about it."

Ichigo rolled his eyes and plopped down onto his desk chair, his hands resting behind his head as he swiveled back and forth. "Ah, but you should be impressed. It was really hard to get into character."

"And to think _I_ was going to try and scare _you_."

Ichigo grinned. "See what you get for being diabolical?"

Rukia stuck her tongue out at him and then glanced at Orihime who was on the floor, studying what looked like a script. "You especially, Orihime." She looked up at her name. "I never believed you could yell so…angrily like that."

Orihime laughed nervously. "Ah, well, I do have a temper. It just doesn't pop up very often."

Rukia studied her skeptically and snorted. "Doubt it."

Ichigo kicked the foot that was dangling off his bed. "You better come to the play. It's this weekend."

"Hai, hai. You'll know I'm there from the 'boos'."

"You…" Ichigo growled.

"Oh!" Orihime suddenly perked up after glancing at the time. "If you're not doing anything else, come see the movie with us tonight, Rukia-chan."

Rukia sat up. "I don't want to interr-"

"Shut up, midget. You're coming."

She gave Ichigo a mock salute which he sneered at as Orihime laughed at them.

"Before we go to the movie, can we go over the scene where I catch you with the other woman?"

Ichigo nodded as he reached behind him for his script. "I need to go over that again too. I keep switching the lines around," he said with a nose wrinkle as he flipped through the pages, completely unaware of Rukia's wide eyes and dropped jaw.

"What…" They both looked at her. "What kind of messed up play _is this_?!"

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Edit: Aha. I just realized...why can Yuzu see shinigami!Rukia? XD Well...I don't feel like changing it and also I figure Yuzu might become more spiritually aware as time goes on anyway. So yeah...


	29. Pissing Contest

Yup, I'm still among the living! |D Just a silly tidbit that's kind of to say I'm still here and still going to update things XD I'm have a whole bunch of stuff in the works (including, yes, a Night and Day update), so I just gotta get around to actually finishing them. Thank you so, so much for your patience with me. AND, I'm so sorry I haven't been able to respond to a lot of reviews, but THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU oodles for your reviews. I cherish every single one! Thank you!

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Pissing Contest

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Rukia pressed her fingers to the aching tightness forming at her temples as the boys yelled at each other across the table.

"I went to hell and back to save her!" Ichigo barked with a slice of curry chicken dangling from his chopsticks.

Of all the things to argue about.

"I laid down my pride as a man just so _she_ could be saved!" Renji shot back with a slam of his tea mug, the greenish liquid sloshing out the sides.

Why did they love morons?

"I became a monster just to save her!"

They were supposed to have a laid back dinner together. Of course it had to turn into a pissing contest.

"I waited for her for decades. You can barely fathom _one_ decade, you whippersnapper!"

Rukia glanced sympathetically at Orihime who was quietly nibbling at her bread, wide eyes shifting back and forth between the two.

"Whippersnapper? You're just jealous because I don't need viagra to get it up!"

Rukia rammed her palm into her forehead as Orihime's face turned five shades of red.

"You're so inexperienced I bet you can't even make her come!"

Oh God.

"Don't you _dare_ think about my girlfriend coming!"

Orihime looked like she wanted to disappear into an endless black hole, and Rukia silently begged her not to forget to bring her along.

"What, it's not as if _you'll_ ever see her come."

"You _son of a bitch_!" Ichigo bellowed before ramming his fist into Renji's jaw. Rukia's chest rose and fell with a big sigh as her friend leapt over the table to pounce her boyfriend.

She smiled tiredly at Orihime as she lifted the teapot. "More tea, Orihime?"

Orihime blinked her gaze away from the two boy-men rolling on the floor and nodded. "U-Un."

Rukia sighed again as she poured the tea. "Honestly. If they wanted to know who was the better boyfriend, they could have just asked us." She put the pot down and watched Orihime's hand curl into a small fist and make a small jab in the air, silently cheering on Ichigo.

She shook her dark head as they crashed through the door. "They're both equally idiotic." Her body fell back into her chair as she contemplated that for a moment. "Of course...what does that make us?"

Orihime tore her eyes away from the fight under way for a moment. "The bigger idiots?"

Rukia stared. And then nodded with a sigh as Orihime scooted her chair back to watch the fight. "True," she replied with a sip of her tea.

Orihime cupped her hands around her mouth. "Use your left uppercut, Ichigo!"

"I _am_ using my left uppercut!" he shouted back.

"Your _other_ left!"

"...Oh. Right. Thanks!"

"Welcome!"

"Son of a-" Renji grunted painfully. "Ow, Orihime! OW!" he accused.

"Sorry! ...Oh, he's open, Ichigo!"


End file.
